Continuing - Confessions of a Former Cessationist

True confessions: (I have since repented for all of the following)

I judged people who raised their hands during worship. I thought it was overly emotional and unnecessary.

I judged people who shouted things like, "Praise You, Jesus!" "Glory to God!" "Hallelujah!" Shouting was rude, disruptive and not biblical, or so I thought. Then I read: "Let' us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms," in Psalm 95.

I judged people who waved banners or flags during worship services. Then I read Psalm 20:5 where it says, "We will rejoice in your salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners!"

I judged people who danced during worship services...where IS your reverence for our Holy God? Then I read 2 Samuel 6:14 where "David danced before the LORD with all his might."

I even judged those worship services where a woman got up to preach the sermon, thinking that this too was unbiblical. Then I had a precious brother and pastor in Hungary walk me through the scriptures and show me that women can be teachers too, and when properly covered by a man and men in the church, women can bless the body with their teaching gifts.

My judgements were off the scale for those people who supposedly fell over during a service when someone prayed for them...I was sure that the person who put his hand on their head pushed them down, or the person was faking falling down. And even if someone was faking and doing a "cd" (courtesy drop), that was between them and God, and did not change Who God is or what He is doing in people's lives and hearts.

I judged those churches where people clapped their hands and sang loudly...but secretly, in the depths of my being, I wished that we in our church would sing songs through more than one time, and there were times when the desire to clap would begin to well up inside of me, but I worked hard to squelch it, out of supposed reverence.

Indeed, I suppose you could say that I was one of the most judgemental people in the church OF the church. Finally, as I began to explore the Scriptures, I learned much more about not only how judgemental I was, but also how wrong I was on every point above.

Probably the most amazing growth in my life has come in the past 8 years as I have released control to the Lord, watched Him break out of the neat little boxes I tried to put Him in and through it all, pour out His amazing love and grace.

Now, the challenge is not to swing to the other end of the pendulum and judge the place and perspectives that I once held. God is a big God, full of fresh revelation, and He has healed my heart and will continue to show me His Truths!

Rafts, boats and ships

Today, I received a "picture" in my spirit which I will try to articulate here. The pictures included a young child in a blow-up raft-like boat on a lake, a man on a sailboat, working the rigging, and finally, the captain of a cruise-ship, out on the ocean.

Here is what I believe God spoke to me through these pictures. When we are young in the Lord, we are entrusted with the blow-up raft and really must stay close to the shoreline, like a child because neither we nor our vessel could handle the choppy waves and high winds a lake or the ocean would throw at us. God knows this.

However, we quickly move from raft-status to boat-status, being entrusted with sails or engines and a craft that can maneuver and be maneuvered through both wind and waves and successfully reach point B from point A. In addition, God entrusts us with those aboard our boats. The blow-up raft held just us, but now, we have been trained in the ways of the Kingdom and entrusted with lives to disciple.

Finally, the picture of the doomed cruise ship which recently crashed on shallow rocks near the shoreline brought home the reality of responsibility as well as the negligence evident in our own lives as well as in the lives of many people, sadly. As we grow in the Lord, and move from the boat to the cruise-ship and are placed in roles of tremendous responsibility, we move out into deeper waters. It is there that we must stay if we are to sail both us and those entrusted to us safely from point A to point B. Attempting to return to the shallower waters for whatever reason is not only foolishness, but can bring tragedy.

The captain of the fated cruise-liner not only showed lack of maturity and responsibility, but also gross negligence as he moved from making a bad decision to lying about it. He's not alone in the universe as he joins a great company of folks who have done the same, from Adam in the Garden to Peter who thrice denied his Lord. To make a bad choice is one thing; to abandon responsibility and allow others to die while you save yourself is the epitamy of immaturity when applied to Kingdom living.

I am in no way standing in judgement of the captain of the fated ship. This is purely being used as an illustration of a much deeper lesson and reality. There are so many things going on in the world today, in our nation today, laws and bills being passed which are akin to running a packed cruise ship too close to shallow, rocky shores. Is there hope? Of course! With God there is ALWAYS hope because He is the hopeful God! However, it takes steering the ship back out into the deeper waters of His love, His perspective, His ways of functioning, His ancient Truths and pathways. Only there will captains and passengers be not only safe, but also enjoying the journey.

There are so many things unfolding that "appear" to be good, but are simply jagged rocks waiting to take down the entire cruise ship. God, we pray for leaders in all arenas of society, that they would hear Your voice and make decisions not based on whim and fancy but on the DEEP TRUTHS of Your Kingdom.