"I'm working to eat."

Yesterday, I called my "son" Laci to see how he "survived" his first week living in his flat. He's doing well, still has to get his room "in order" and to date, has not cooked himself a warm meal. Laci is going to school full-time and working part-time at a flour factory. He told me that he had the worst day at work, spending 10 hours without a break standing next to an assembly line pulling the "bad biscuits" off the conveyor belt. In his words, "It's so difficult knowing that I'm working just so I can eat. But a positive thing is that I don't have to buy bread because I get all the left-overs from here that I want, so I can save some money."

Laci didn't tell me, but I heard from another friend that he recently failed all his mid-term exams at college. I don't know if it was the stress of moving out of the children's home or what that kept him from being able to study sufficiently, but, this 22 year old is having a rough go of it on his own.

YET, he's going to school and working...and he knows the value of a job...and of education...sort of...thank the Lord for his perseverance in this time of "survival".

Pride and Humility

The word "humble" does not necessarily have a positive meaning in Hungarian. Maybe in some circles of English speakers it is also negative. However, biblically, it is one of the most positive words around. In both Hungarian and in English, the word "pride" has its positive and negative connotations. For the sake of this short discussion, let's use the negative meaning of pride. So, with these thoughts in mind, here's a thought I am passing along from a course I'm taking:

"You cannot offend a humble person; if you are offended, then you've lost your humility and pride has flown up in you and filled you up."

Your thoughts?

Spring in Szeged - Part IV

If you look two blogs down from this one, you will see a very similar picture; however, like that cartoon in the newspaper which asks you to find 6 differences between the two pictures, I ask you to find the ONE difference between the two pictures. I await your responses.

"Home Sweet Home!"

Last weekend and yesterday, I helped my 22-year old "son", Laci, from the children's home move out of the home and into an apartment (flat), which he will share with a classmate of his from college. With "guarded enthusiasm" I delighted and celebrated with him in this step toward independence..."guarded" because he truly has no idea how difficult it is going to be to live "on the outside". Yet yesterday, when we finished unloading the second and last car load of his things, he exclaimed, "I can finally say, 'Home Sweet Home!'" He is now the proud renter of one room in a flat and he is experiencing "freedom" for the first time since he was 12. Like any "mom", I am concerned for him...my prayer is that he comes to know the true Provider of all his needs.
I am extremely proud of him...he failed 10th grade once, fell into deep depression, and almost didn't graduate from high school. Yesterday, we were talking about how he "could have been my student" because he had been accepted at the high school where I teach...upon reflection, it's better this way....we are friends, which would have been much more difficult to develop had he been my student; and, the young man he's now sharing the flat with was a classmate of his in high school as well.
God's great tapestry. Lord, bring Laci to Your 'Home Sweet Home'...a relationship with Yourself!

Spring in Szeged....Part III

The above picture is a familiar sight in Szeged every spring, Yes, those are road signs, and yes, a road is running under all that water! Every spring, the Tisza River floods and the road running next to the river is closed for some months. How high the river gets depends on the speed of the melt in the northern part of the country, from the mountains. As I sat next to the river this afternoon, eating my first ice cream of the season, I had my discman blasting worship music, about a river...the river of God, flowing....Lord, overflow the banks of our lives and flood our hearts with Yourself and Your love, that we might overflow toward others!!!

Spring has sprung....Part II

I walked out of school on Monday and saw the typical small congregation of students in front of the school, smoking, talking laughing, etc. The true sign of spring, however, was a couple kissing, very intimately, completely oblivious to anyone around them. Welcome to spring in Szeged!!

God's abundant blessings

I was having "one of those days"; as I finished teaching one of my classes and I was walking back to the English staff room, I was praying, "Lord, you know where I am today; you know my heart; you know exactly what is going on...Lord, would you do a miracle for me today and let the package that my friend sent over 2 weeks ago arrive today? I know it is probably sitting in some post office room on some shelf, but you can get it off that shelf and have it delivered today. Would you please?"

I went to teach the next class, and as I finished and was returning the key to the staff room, one of my colleagues approached me, holding a big blue box, which I KNEW was my package!!!! I nearly screamed, then nearly cried...God is soooooooo good, and as I sit here worshiping with the CD that was enclosed in that box, I am experiencing a very BIG taste of just how much my Father delights in me, His daughter.

Spring has sprung...part I

There are definite signs that spring has sprung here in Szeged, Hungary. This is part I of a....well, I don't know how many part series.....discussing spring. Yesterday was GORGEOUS, the picturesque, story-book kind of spring day! You know it is spring in Szeged when:

1. There are tons of people on the walking street, Karasz utca (prounounced: Kah-rah-ss oot-sa);
2. There are tons of SMILING people walking on Karasz utca;
3. There are tons of smiling people, some of whom are EATING ICE CREAM on Karasz utca!

It's been a LOOOONGGGGG winter; grey days FAR outnumbered sunny days here in the "city of sunshine", so yesterday's outpouring of sunshine was a fantastic ushering in of spring, with all the tell-tale signs of "life" in this city.

Stay tuned for Part II........

Waiting........

Two friends of mine had an album entitled "Waiting"; anyone who has lived overseas knows what it means to have to wait. Remember the old saying "you can take the American out of America, but you can't take America out of the American"? (Or such related sayings...) Well, the American in me is screaming about not having received a package which was mailed from the U.s. over two weeks ago!!! I'm sure it left U.S. borders within two days of being mailed, and for some reason, it is slowly finding its way, by ground most likely even though it was designated "air mail", to its destination. I'm waiting. I was patient. I'm losing my patience, even though I know that losing my patience does NO harm to anyone except myself. I know my package is sitting in some room in the local post office, waiting to be delivered; however the "amount paid" in postage written on the package means nothing to the local post office; they will deliver it in their own sweet time. Waiting. Waiting.

I'm so impatient. I'm such a product of a society that says, "If I don't get it in the 'stated time', then I'm going to throw a fit, demand my rights, etc., etc.

Aren't we often like this in our relationships with God as well, sometimes? I want things to proceed in a timely manner in my relationship with Him; I want the 'programs' I've organized to go off without a hitch....note the operative pronoun in the above statements: "I". When life becomes "all about me", disappointment is the logical consequence; when God becomes the center, a deep and abiding peace resides, knowing AND experiencing that His timing is absolutely perfect...because He is perfect, and all He does is perfect.

So, in conclusion, I guess I need to show the Hungarian post a bit of grace...however, I sure hope my package shows up sometime in the next 8 weeks!!!

Model United Nations

I'm enjoying a couple of days in Budapest as the "sponsor"/"chaperone" of 5 high school students who are participating in a Model UN, put on by a bilingual high school. 4 of the 5 students and I came last year as well, and this year it is a roaring success. There are students from many different countries, all taking their "responsibilities" very seriously, and I am amazed at the level of English they are using to communicate United Nations' level resolutions.

I have very little responsibility...in fact, virtually none. So, this is a great time of R&R for me, and I'm getting lots of reading done. Maybe I should pay close attention to the debates; maybe I should go from room to room to support and encourage the kids; but really, no adults are "allowed" to be there....it's completely student-run.

These kids LOVE this!!! They are so into it, taking everything very seriously, and doing excellent work. These are the movers and shakers of this generation...and even they, when it is all over at the end of the day, head to the pub to enjoy socializing together. My "duties" here are a far cry from what I would be expected to do in the U.S., where I would have to watch their every move...here, these kids are considered adults, and I am simply the "safe-guard"....in emergency, call on me. So, I'm off to finish one book, and start another.

Packages

Anyone who has lived overseas, far from friends and family, knows that receiving a package in the mail is like a cold drink of water on a sweltering day.

I was expecting a package from a good friend today. The secretary in the school knew it, and when she came walking in the English staff room with a small package in hand, I nearly jumped out of my seat with joy!! Yet as I looked at the return address, my heart sank; it wasn't the package I was expecting. However, my joy returned immediately as I realized that THIS was a package I'd been waiting even longer for, and had nearly forgotten!!!

Of course I ripped it open and pulled out the book and two CDs I'd ordered a long time ago, thrilled, and feeling very loved that another good friend had taken the time to send these to me!

It's the little things that can be water to the soul, the small gestures, the kind word, the gentle touch, the long hug, and the time taken to send a friend far away a package to make her smile! (And I can still look forward to the other, much anticipated package!)

Every day, if we are willing to take the time, there are "packages" to be opened if we simply open God's Word. Some of those "packages" are much anticipated, and others are surprises, but ALL are nourishing to the whole person, body, mind, soul and spirit. Gotten any good packages lately?

House Cleaning

Today was the day. I grabbed the bucket and the sponge and gloves and tackled the two living room windows that face the busy street in front of my flat. After cleaning the screen and sills of one window, the water was BLACK. Of course it was black after the second as well. Then I decided to tackle the lounge chair pads on my balcony, which sat out all winter...I tossed the first one in the bathtub and started running the hot water...the water promptly turned BLACK. I washed and rinsed that thing 4 times, and finally, at the end of the 4th rinsing, the water was "relatively" clear. The second pad was the same.

Each time I watched the black water swirling down the drain in the tub, I thought, "I didn't think the windows or those pads were THAT dirty! They didn't 'look' that dirty or 'seem' that dirty."

How similar this is to our own lives and our own sin..."I'm not THAT bad! I don't 'look' that sinful or 'seem' that bad."

The Bible says that "there is no one righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10).

Yet, there is hope and a TRUE promise: "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." (1 Peter 3:18)

As the clear, clean water poured out of the tap in the tub, I was reminded of how we are washed clean and pure by Jesus Himself, through the Holy Spirit, which He has poured out into the hearts of those who believe!!! It is His righteousness alone that can wash away my sin.

Pride

I can't help but be just a bit proud today. I just visited one of my former students' blogs and learned that his first book is coming out tomorrow! His name is J.R. Briggs, and the book is called "When God says Jump". I can't wait to read it! I'm proud because J.R. was in my 10th grade English class in Virginia, and slaved and slaved and slaved over every paper I made him write. He wanted to do it well, perfectly. Both he and I know he wasn't a strong writer then...however, his hard work and the Lord's blessings have paid off, obviously, in this fruit! Congratulations, J.R.!!!

SUNSHINE!!!!

The sun is shining, a bit, today! I'm going out to walk in the sunshine and drink it in, since we've had sooooooo little. I want to receive whatever I can from its rays.

This is also the message I received from the Lord this morning, through the prayers of two friends..."don't give; just receive."

For a do-er, a giver, a performance-oriented individual, this is a big challenge. Lord, help me to receive.

Ups and downs and wild rides

We awakened this morning to about 3 inches of wind blown snow and huge flakes falling, while being blown by strong winds. This continued all day. It's March. This is not very typical of March in Szeged...nevertheless, it was the perfect start to an up and down day! My ninth grade bilingual students are giving oral presentations on topics of their choice. Today, a young lady, who was found sprawled on the bathroom floor at school completely drunk last Tuesday, stood up to give her presentation on her favorite book: The DaVinci Code. "So, why do you like this book?" "I like it because of all the action." A conversation unfolded in the class about how this book and other "things" are "revealing" that the church has been wrong for centuries, "hiding" the truth from people, and finally, people are able to see the truth, specifically that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene. I've never experienced an entire class so anti-Christianity in my 16 years of teaching.

Immediately following that class, I taught 4 senior girls and one of them said, completely unprompted, "Well, there aren't many children in the children's home where I grew up who believe in God, but I am a believer and have faith in Jesus!" This prompted a discussion about what it means to believe, how two of the four of them came to faith in Jesus, and how the other two "believe" but don't go to church. It was a pleasant, loving discussion in which we saw into each others' lives, and while at different places, still "loved" each other.

Stark contrast to the contentious atmosphere in my 9th grade class.

I walked out of school to my snow-covered car, thankful for the blanket of white, remembering that Jesus' blood was shed for every one of those kids, even those currently deceived, and washed them whiter than the snow blanketing the ground around me. It's His work, not mine...may He reveal His Truth to each one of them in His perfect way and perfect time.

More on weather fronts

Yesterday, I did my usual "go to the market and then to the DM", which is just like a Walgreens...anyway, if you have been reading my blogs, and you read about "feeling fronts", this is a follow-up to that. I was looking for vitamins and for health tea in the DM when I saw a box that said, in English, "Front Medicine". I picked it up, and sure enough, it is medicine one can take when one suffers from headaches as a result of cold or warm fronts coming through!!! I didn't buy any as Advil seems to work pretty well for me, but this was yet another piece in the "weather puzzle" I found fascinating.

Socialized Medicine

Don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate the socialized medicine in Hungary. I have had to have 4 MRIs since I've lived here, and one major surgery, plus a plethora of doctors' visits for various illnesses, and it has all been FREE!!!

However, today was a case in point why some people don't really care for socialized medicine. I was sent to the neurological department at the "New Clinic" by my family physician...you have certain hours that you can go there, so I went after teaching this morning, arriving about 11:45 a.m. I knew I was in trouble the second I turned the corner into the waiting area of this department. There were probably 15 people sitting there waiting to be seen. I handed my paperwork to the nurse on duty, and she said, "You are not going to get in today. There are four serious cases inside already and all these people waiting...you'll have to come back next week; the best day would be Wednesday or Thursday."

Now, I don't have a serious problem...but what if I did? This is a definite drawback in socialized medicine...you get seen in the order you arrive...the early bird gets the worm, so to say; or you snooze you lose.

Sometimes I wonder how all these people get all this time off from work in order to sit in line to see the doctor....

Foggy vs. Clear goggles

It's still COLD here in Szeged, so trips to the swimming pool are not very fun just yet. However, I dragged myself there again yesterday, and once again, the Lord graciously chose to teach me something. Even though it took me 200 meters to get rid of the goose bumps, I'm thankful for the lesson about foggy vs. clear goggles.

I've blogged about this before...being able to see clearly...but yesterday, the Lord gave me a new chapter in the goggle lesson book. At about 400 meters, my goggles are getting quite foggy, and I notice that I begin to swim with more caution; I'm not so sure about "where I am or where I'm going"; gotta look for the wire above so I don't slam into the wall as I do back stroke, etc.

As soon as I stopped and cleaned my goggles, a renewed sense of confidence, power, and swimming ability fell over me!!! I can see clearly now and I want to swim hard, fast, and well! When the goggles are foggy, I swim with hesitancy, caution and definitely at a slower pace.

What dawned on me yesterday is what a picture this is of a life in Christ. How many believers in Jesus are living lives with foggy goggles..."swimming" along, able to "see pretty well", able to "be in the pool" and "do the strokes", but cautious, still a bit fearful, wondering if they're going to "slam their hand into the wall" because it's "just not clear" what the Lord is up to?

On the flip side, how many believers in Jesus have stopped, taken off the foggy goggles, allowed God to clean them, and now "swim" with renewed confidence, strength, hope, joy, peace, boldness, and faith because it is very clear WHO the Lord is and that He is always up to His good work in our lives and in this world? www.ceokids.org

On friends and friendship

I was driving home from Kiskoros, a small town about 1 1/2 hours from Szeged, on Sunday, and was blessed with the company of one of my Bible study girls riding with me. Dora and I have not gotten a lot of one on one time together this year, so this car ride back to Szeged was a true blessing. While Dora is 18 years my junior, the Lord has knit our hearts deeply and we are able to love and encourage each other, despite the "generation gap," so to say.

When we were about 30 km. from Szeged, we got to talking about friends and friendship, and she shared with me that God has totally blessed her with such a deep, deep, Jonathan and David friendship with another girl in our study, M. Their initial "meeting" 3 years ago was a miracle in itself, as M., extremely shy, approached Dora boldly and began talking with her, and they found themselves 30 min. later walking down the main street of the city, talking as though they'd known each other for years and years!!! It's such a deep friendship in the Spirit, just as Jonathan loved David deeply in the Lord.

These friendships are rare, and sometimes never come in our lifetime. Of course we have close friends, and we truly love those God blesses us with, but to have that Holy Spirit connection with someone, where after just a few minutes, there is a knitting of hearts so deep that nothing can tear it apart. It's a friendship that is so healthy because it is 100% from God...there was no "work" put into it...no working through the "initial awkward moments"; instead, there is instant spiritual connection, that ONLY God can do.

These friends are not afraid to rebuke or correct, and are quick to love, even quicker to pray; conversations are never forced; there is a mutual understanding in the Lord that is almost unexplainable outside of simply saying "God did it." I too have one such friend that God dropped in my life. I cannot understand the depth of connection in the Holy Spirit, but as God continues to grow each of us in Himself, He's given us this "Jonathan and David" friendship for His glory and purposes.

I could totally relate to Dora, and this was such an encouragement to her, because she's never known anyone else to have such a "J-D" spiritual friendship. Again, God blessing the body with mutual encouragement!!!

Cultural difference #652

During my Hungarian lesson today, we were talking about the weather and weather forecasts/reports, etc. In my text book, there is a "weather report" in which it says the following, (rough translation): "A strong warm front will be coming and those who get headaches or 'feel' these fronts, you will feel this one strongly. Drivers, take care when driving because of these people who "feel" these fronts."

I had to smile and I asked my teacher if it is because someone might be driving and suddenly get a horrific headache and cause a crash? She said, "Yes, or if someone is walking on the street and "falls ill" because of the weather front, then drivers should be aware of these pedestrians."

I was trying to think if anything like this would ever be included in a weather report in the U.S. The closest comparison would be that an ice storm is coming so: "Drivers, be careful on the roads because they will be slippery!"

I can attest to the fact that indeed, when weather fronts come through here, I feel them in my body!!! So there is some logic to all of this!

A Birthday Blog

Today is my birthday! Most people don't go around "announcing" things like this, and I'm usually in the category of "most people". But for some reason, this year, I'm excited about my birthday. I'm a very new person this year. In the past one and a half years, and especially in the last 10 months (to the DAY), God has done radical things in my life, and probably for the very first time, I am realizing what a blessing a birthday is. God, in His amazing love and sovereignty, KNEW me before the foundation of the world, He saw me, He placed me in my mother's womb, He formed me, He breathed life into me, He delighted in me before ANYONE else could ever delight in me...in other words, the Author of Life gave me life on this day, in His perfect timing, for His perfect purposes, one of which is simply to be His precious daughter. Birthdays are taking on a whole new meaning for me because if the God of the Universe planned that I would be born and have life, then celebrating His amazing gift of life is the least I can do, and is an exciting event! Jesus sets us free, and as He continues to bring freedom, the freedom to celebrate every day as His gift, and birthdays as HUGE gifts, is so much more fun! Be blessed today!!!!

Swimming.........surprised???

I arrived at the pool today and nearly every lane was FREE!!! I stood in shock and hurridly took off my robe, hopped under the shower, put on my goggles and got in an empty lane!!! You may not understand, but on a typical day, there are a minimum of 3-4 people in each lane, so to have a lane to oneself is truly a gift not to be missed! Each time I made the turn, I looked to see if someone had jumped in my lane to start swimming, but I was able to go a full 800 meters before, finally, a very slow woman began swimming in my lane. I must admit, a feeling of frustration set in because there were other empty lanes...why couldn't she go to those lanes? And on my last 50 meters, I had to "pass" her, thus interrupting the swimming "flow" I'd gotten in during my 1000 meter journey.

Do we GRAB the gifts the Lord gives us? Do we relish them with everything within us? And when something comes in to "disturb" that gift or the "working out of that gift", how do we respond? ...And the greatest of these is love....

Drastic Change..........

Yesterday, it was cloudy, very cold, and began snowing late in the afternoon and into the night. We awakened this morning to a fresh 2 inches of snow on the ground, and partly cloudy skies! By 8 a.m., it was blindingly sunny, and the snow was melting quickly. Sunglasses are needed today, and there's not a cloud in the sky.

This radical change in the weather, in such a short time can be analagous to what God sometimes does in us, if we allow Him. He is constantly wanting us to draw closer to Himself, to "see Him with the eyes of our spirits", and to grow. One day it is cloudy and snowy in our souls, and the next, because of a mighty work of His Holy Spirit, the Son is shining amazingly, like never before. It's fun to see and even more fun to experience these drastic changes, especially when intimacy with the King of Kings is the result!

Some will say, "but just 'yesterday' you were like this...and today, you are 'different'." Yep, isn't that how God works sometimes?

Life

Learned an "obvious" thing in a course I'm taking, but upon serious reflection it has huge implications. Here's the question: What does each of us have control over in our lives? There are only two things: Our attitudes and our actions. That's it. Some would argue we control our feelings, but realistically, we do not. Someone dies....automatically, if we knew them, a deep feeling of sadness hits us....we cannot control that feeling....we can, however, control our attitude in that situation and our action. Food for thought, huh?

Rain, rain go away!

Ok, I've had just about enough of the rain this winter. Szeged is known as the city of sunshine, yet we've seen more days of clouds and rain than sun in the past 3 months than ever before!!! The yard in back of my house is a mud pit from cars going in and out of their garages, mine included....and I don't even want to put my car in the garage because it means caking the tires with mud, which means splattering it everywhere when I drive, etc. The big question is: who is going to go out there and clean up the muddy mess? As I look out my kitchen window on the muddy puddles and the tire-ripped area, I wonder, isn't this like our lives...a muddy mess sometimes...and there is only ONE who can clean it up sufficiently. That One makes all things new; that One transforms the muddy mess into His beautiful garden, what it was intended to be. We have to give Him the mess...the process might be long, or it might be short, but we have to let Him do His work in our lives, His way.

Bird flu in Hungary

Well, as of today, the verdict is in: the H5N1 bird flu virus was found in 3 dead swans here in Hungary. No animal to human strain has yet occured, but those in authority are taking every precaution to keep it from spreading. I knew it was only a matter of time...nearly every bordering country is fighting it now as well. We live in interesting times, don't we? God continues to be in control!

Encouragement..........

As I was preparing for church this morning. I put on a worship CD I got. It's a collection of Twila Paris' worship songs and the lyrics from one of the songs which I've heard hundreds of times ministered deeply to my heart, especially after the past couple of days and seeing the stark reality of the spiritual battle.

"God is in control, we believe that his children will not be forsaken, God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken, there is no power above or beside him we know, oh, oh, oh, God is in control."

Be encouraged by this TRUTH, and don't let the lies of the enemy keep you from remembering this! www.ceokids.org

Cultural differences and the Olympics

I love watching the Olympic games here in europe on Eurosport. First, it's on 24-hours per day. Second, they show competitors from every country, not just the "home country's stars". Third, it's good for practicing my Hungarian. Anyway, yet another stark contrast between American and Hungarian culture came screaming to the surface via the Olympic games recently. In the men's figure skating, an unprecedented thing occurred with the 3 American competitors: ALL three of them finished in the top 10! This is fantastic! However, according to some in the American press, we didn't win a medal and so there was some moaning and groaning about how we didn't show well because we didn't win a medal.
Now for the other side of the picture. If anyone was watching closely, and hung in there to see who ended up in LAST place in the final standings, he or she would have seen Zoltan Toth, from Hungary, finished last. His comment to the press when interviewed was something along the lines of how absolutely thrilled he was even to have reached the finals and he was so happy about his finish in the Olympics. And apparently, Hungarians are also celebrating the fact that Zoltan made the cut to the finals and did as well as he did!
This divergence in cultures was also seen in the summer Olympics two years ago. Here in Szeged, they had a big screen TV set up on one of the main downtown squares where people could come and sit outside and watch the games. At another place on the square was a huge board with not just the Hungarian medal winners listed, but the names of EVERY Hungarian who had competed and what place they finished and hearty congratulations to ALL of them for their accomplishments.
I love that just "being" is celebrated and appreciated here and not just the "winners" are recognized and celebrated.
It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different.........I must admit, though, I prefer the difference I see here.

How DARE you...........!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the battle is on, the battle is real, and the battle is raging. I find it interesting that it has been about 3 months since I sort of "hit the wall" with exhaustion and just yesterday, I was blasted out of the "tomb" and back into the battle that is raging. Something significant about the number 3, isn't there? Yesterday, I went to see one of my "boys", 21 year old Laci, perform at the children's home "winter festival"; to make a long story very short, I learned about a group of people, graduates of the school of metaphysics here in Szeged, who have been coming to the home since just after Christmas and "ministering to the kids spirits" by giving them "love". For me, yesterday was RESURRECTION DAY!!!! This Lion of Judah is roaring with the angels of heaven against the minions of hell who have infiltrated this children's home with their deceitful LIES and manipulation. I cannot begin to express the profound sadness and righteous ANGER I felt and am feeling regarding this slimy tactic of the enemy to come in and try to steal, kill and destroy these kids. If you are a born-again follower of Jesus Christ, please stop now and pray for God to have His victory in their hearts and that He will raise up HIS army to go and do battle for these children, and He will drive the enemy OUT of this home and come sweeping in with His Holy Spirit to fill the hearts of these young people who are so hungry for love. How dare the enemy think that he can do this......Jesus, claim Your victory and protect your children!!!

To contemplate..........

A new friend asked me a very good question today: "If you were to pull out of leading these Bible studies that you have been leading for years now, would they continue on without you?"
My first response was a hesitating "ummmmm, weeellllll", then a "I think so, maybe....."
My realistic response was: "Maybe for a while, but probably not."
Convicting.
As a missionary, you don't want people getting attached to you; you want them getting attached to Jesus Christ. Of course if you are involved in church planting you are working on raising up indigenous leaders to lead the church and literally "working yourself out of a job."
But what about those of us leading home group Bible studies and such? The goal, obviously, is to see that they are rooted and grounded in their faith in Jesus Christ, and hopefully, connected to the local church. And this is indeed the case with most of the girls.
However, is "part of the draw" of these Bible studies to practice English? Not that that is a bad thing, necessarily, but if the Bible study "falls apart" when I leave for a season, what does that say about it, and more importantly, about me as a leader?
Hard question to come face to face with today, but a very good one!
Lord, help me to work myself out of a "job" here; I pray NO ONE is dependent upon me for their walk with You!" Amen.

Gifts

I love giving gifts! I'm not a very good receiver of gifts, but I am learning. I get such great joy out of making someone's day, surprising them, with something they weren't expecting. I'm not sure why this gives me such joy, but I think that God is much the same. As I continue to learn to humble myself before Him, and just worship Him, He shows up and gives me sweet gifts of Himself that are often surprising, and never quite the same. Sometimes these gifts are tangible: a hug from a friend, a word of encouragement, a touch, a prayer spoken aloud; other times they are intangible: peace, joy, overflowing sensation of His love. I don't always know what kind of gift will bless someone; but God always knows the perfect gifts that we need and just when we need them. May we continually look to Him for every good and perfect gift! www.ceokids.org

Reflections on Community

I've been reading a former student's blog. Thanks, J.R., for propelling me into the thinking mode on this topic. I also want to ask what is a "healthy community"? I ask because I am in the process of "becoming healthy", and I've been a believer for 25 years now. God showed me one and a half years ago just what "unhealthy" patterns are in my life, even as a Christian believer! The dying process began then, and like onion layers being peeled off, the dying process continues today. Have I hit rock bottom yet? I sure hope so; but as was pointed out to me just last week, I've still got flesh that needs to die. What does that mean for community? I believe that healthy community can only happen in a Christian community, and even in that community, a HEALTHY community is a very, very small community WITHIN that Christian community. I guess we could picture a pebble being thrown into a calm lake.....the "inner" circles of the ripples are those who are most healed and most healthy...it's a small, safe community of healed and healthy people; rippling outward are other "levels" of community, where vulnerability gets less and less, at least to the degree that we can be vulnerable, and the health of the community becomes less and less healthy as the ripples become wider and wider. I've got 5 "safe" people in my life right now....safe and healthy....and I don't see that number expanding any time soon. And that's OK!!! That I have 5 is an amazing blessing...people who are walking in TOTAL freedom in the Spirit, healed and delivered and know what unconditional love REALLY means. They are in the inner ripple; from there come others who are in the outer ripples, but they are not "safe"...this is not a judgement of them, just a fact of life...we still experience community together, just at a very, very different level, and that's OK!! I believe it is a reflection of when Jesus was here on the earth: He had Peter, James and John...His inner ripple...then the other 8 disciples as the next ripple, then Judas....then the crowds....what do you think?

Valentine's Day Thoughts

It's Valentine's Day in the U.S.A. That means lots of red and white and pink EVERYWHERE one looks; the capitalisitic reminder that we need to "make the most of every holiday and turn it into a money making venture!" I got online a week and a half ago and received an email ad "reminding" me that I could buy something for my "loved ones" for Valentine's Day online. I decided that this year, I would give in and send some people some gifts. I clicked on the link and saw that the prices weren't that bad; so I did my shopping and patted myself on the back for helping the American economy on this, the "Day of Love." Just 3 days later, I received the same email ad, and I happened to open it up, to see the same "gifts" I had purchased, and noticed that the price was $10 higher than what I had paid!!! I was thankful to have "gotten a good deal"; then yesterday, I noticed that the prices on these same items had doubled--the law of capitalism at work right before my eyes. It struck me that the items had not changed one iota; the flowers and vases and hearts and chocolates were exactly the same, but the price had doubled in one and a half weeks. It made me stop and think: these items were no more valuable now than they were 1 1/2 weeks ago...they were no fresher, no more lovely, no bigger or more desireable...but ALL were more expensive. There is a worship song called "Here I am to Worship" and the refrain goes like this: "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." This refrain is repeated time and again, and I was thinking about that song in light of Valentine's Day...supposedly the "day of love"...and yet every day, we have right before us, the greatest expression of love ever poured out over ALL of humanity....Jesus' red blood, shed on the cross, at a cost none of us could ever even begin to calculate, much less fathom. How often do I treat that gift from God so lightly, so flippantly and concentrate more on the cost of worldly things which will bring only temporary pleasure. None of us will EVER know, this side of heaven, how much that sacrifice of love cost; but we know how much a dozen roses costs today...and we pay the price because we want to show our love to someone. May we stop today and consider the amazing price that was paid by Jesus, who went willingly to the cross because "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not PERISH, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) We buy flowers or a gift to make someone happy for a day or a few days; God bought US, paying the ultimate price....are we flippant about that costly gift, not recognizing that without that gift, we would perish? I pray that this Valentine's Day, we all contemplate the greatest gift given of all, whose cost cannot be measured, and we would bow down and worship the King of Kings who gave up His life, that we might live for eternity. And finally, may we give someone the only gift worth giving....Jesus Himself and a personal relationship with Him! Amen.

Birthdays

Today is my oldest brother's 46th birthday. (I'm sure he really appreciates me posting his age on the web...oh well...) Of course I sent him the traditional snail-mail card wishing him Happy Birthday, in Hungarian no less, and I will try to call him, to sing the traditional song, but the strangest thing for me, if I really stop and think about it is that I've not celebrated any of my siblings' birthdays with them since we each turned 18. We've gone our separate ways, lived in various parts of the U.S. or world, and since our birthdays don't fall on or around major holidays, we've not gotten the chance to celebrate this huge day when the Lord chose that each of us would enter this world and be His child in flesh and blood for the days appointed for each of us. One memory I have of growing up with my oldest brother is watching him run cross-country in high school. He was good...he was very good. And I wanted to be just like him. So, of course I took up running. One year, I decided to run the Garden of the Gods 10-miler...he had been training, and I had been too....well, sort of....ok, I thought I could just go out there and run the thing. We went for a 5-mile run together the day before the race, and my brother said, "Arden, you will never make it the entire distance." Well, saying that to me put fire in my bones...as a precaution, however, I asked my dad to meet me at the 5-mile point, just in case I really couldn't make it. As I puffed my way to the 5 -mile point, and looked down this incredibly LONG hill to try to see my dad's car, I was crushed....no car....which basically meant, I had to finish the race. I did, in 100 minutes, and couldn't even WALK the next day! But I finished!!! The Apostle Paul says, "forgetting what is behind, strive toward what is ahead." Striving through those last 5 miles was excruciatingly painful, but I did it, through tears at times, and when I crossed the line, the look on my parents' and brothers' faces was priceless. They couldn't believe it! I couldn't either. But that verse is poignantly true in many ways...no matter what the naysayers say, the doubters, the skeptics, those who throw cold water on our dreams and goals and plans, we are to follow ONE voice and one voice only: That of our Lord Jesus Christ, "who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God the Father almighty!" Had Jesus "stopped" after Gethsemane, which he easily could have, and not "run" the last 5-miles for us, where would we be now? He heeded His Father's voice, and that voice alone, and He finished the race, declaring, "It is finished." His finish, when truly contemplated, puts amazed looks on our faces; and hopefully, fire in our hearts "to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me!" Thanks O. for this life-lesson, in rememberance of your birthday! www.ceokids.org

A lesson on jobs?????

I was teaching my 9th grade bilingual group yesterday (I have them 3 times a week) and the topic was "Jobs". However, God had other plans for the lesson that day. I cannot even tell you how we got off on the topic of families and then fathers. Well, by the end of the lesson, there were 3 girls in tears, and the rest of the class was quite sobered by what had transpired during the last 20 minutes of the lesson. I learned much from these kids....one of the teary girls told me how she would be happy never to communicate with her father ever again. Her parents divorced a year and a half ago, and in the fall, she tried calling her father to wish him a happy birthday, and he never even picked up his phone. He never called her at Christmas and has basically cut off all relationship with her. Another girl, through tears, explained how her father had abused her and the rest of her family, and how she wishes she could have a relationship with him, but he only hurts her. The third teary-eyed girl looked at me and said, "You have no idea what kind of father I have. I hope I never have to meet him again!" She then buried her eyes in the palms of her hands and wept for 10 minutes. The lesson on jobs quickly shifted to a lesson where I listened a lot, and tried to share some "hope" with them. A couple of other students opened up and shared about their "interesting" home situations, none of which sound very healthy. Sometimes I'm amazed that any of these kids can get through a day with what they have to deal with at home. I think, though, the most significant thing that came out of all of this for me was a "renewed" sense of my calling....and a possible shift in that calling. Yes, I still like teaching; I love days like this one I just described...much moreso than days where we indeed DO talk about jobs. I was "flying" after that lesson, so much wanting to be there for those kids, wanting to share with them the ONE who will never leave them, who will never abuse them, the One who loves them totally unconditionally. I like teaching, but I realized I'm not passionate about it....I'm passionate about people knowing Jesus. What does all this mean? I have no idea, except that I know I'm in a transition time; that God is changing and growing me; that He is working His perfect direction out in my life....and I am not sure what that means when it comes to being a teacher. If nothing else, this day showed me that these kids are in desperate need of the love of God; Lord annoint me to share that love with them in the next 4 months, and bring each of them into Your Kingdom!!! Amen! www.ceokids.org

"What is truth?"

This age-old question, quoted now mostly in reference to Pilate's question of Jesus in John 18:38, grows increasingly relevant in an age when even in the church, 'what is truth' is being 'tested.' Sadly, even Christians are "compromising" when it comes to the Truth, justifying action or non-action, as the case may be, on something other than the basis of God's uncompromising Truth. Indeed, the truth must be spoken in love, and if it is wielded as a weapon, then that is not truth, for at the heart of God's Truth is love. The loving thing to do is to confront someone with truth as God leads, lovingly; then let the Holy Spirit take care of what happens as a result. God's holiness and His standards cannot be compromised; Jesus came to fufill the law, not to abolish it; we reap what we sow...if we sow to the sinful nature, from that nature we will reap what we have sown. God is not a God of compromise. He is a jealous God, jealously longing after His children's hearts, lovingly wooing them back to Himself and into His presence; but if we compromise His truth, we will reap the fruit of that compromise. "Speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15) so that we may grow up into Christ. Otherwise, we remain as children, tossed about by the waves of the times. Lord, change me, that I may see Your Truth and speak that truth in love! Amen.

For my 12c,d,g class

Hello Andras, Angela, Katinka, Trixi, Marietta and Gabor!!! You see, I told you I'd written about you on my blog!!! :-) In all seriousness, this is a wonderful class of seniors, who are having to work hard to prepare for their final exams in May and June, and I always look forward to Monday afternoons when we can have conversation class together!!! There are some classes I truly look forward to, and other classes that, well, are a bit more challenging....but ALL have precious children of God in them who deserve to be loved! So, to my 12c,d,g class, I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy reading my blog from time to time! Study hard, and do your English homework: speak English!!! www.ceokids.org

On friends and friendship

These are very interesting days for me, during which I'm so "spent" that I all I can "handle" is receiving from God and from others. This is a strange place for me to be, a giver at heart, and a good place. I'm learning much about friends and friendship, "safe" friends and those who aren't so "safe". I'm learning anew about the "Friend who sticks closer than a (sister)" who meets every need, no matter what, totally and completely, without fail.

Most Hungarians have very few what they would call "friends". They have many acquaintances......most Americans, myself included, would say I've got lots and lots of friends.....and lots of acquaintances too. Hungarians would not call someone they've not spoken to in 6 months a friend, however; whereas an American probably would still call that person "friend."

A very important lesson I'm learning is that receiving from friends is just as important and significant as giving to friends....this seems like a 'no-brainer', but for how many of us is it much easier to give than it is to receive? To receive means opening up the heart, being vulnerable beyond the 'norm', and trusting in new ways. It means walking in unchartered territory sometimes...being willing to be seen for who you really are, and be loved and totally accepted in that state, and even cherished and missed! This is how God sees us....and He adores us....beyond what we could ever comprehend or imagine! It's really cool when He gives us that kind of a friend on earth as well, to be a tangible picture of Himself. www.ceokids.org

Poem

"This day is Your gift to me;
I take it, Lord, from Your hand
and I thank You for the wonder of it.

God be with me
in this Your day,
every day
and every way,
with me and for me
in this Your day;
and the love
and the affection
of heaven be toward me.

All that I am, Lord,
I place into Your hands.
All that I do, Lord,
I place into Your hands.

Everything I work for
I place into Your hands.
Everything I hope for
I place into Your hands.
The troubles that weary me
I place into Your hands.
The thoughts that disturb me
I place into Your hands.
Each that I pray for
I place into your hands.
Each that I care for
I place into Your hands.

I place into Your hands, Lord,
the choices that I face.
Guard me from choosing the way perilous
of which the end is heart-pain
and the secret tear.

Rich in counsel, show us the way
that is plain and safe.

May I feel Your presence at the heart of my desire,
and so know it for Your desire for me.
Thus shall I prosper,
thus see that my prupose is from You,
thus have power to do the good which endures.

Show me what blessing it is
that I have work to do.
And sometimes, and most of all
when the day is overcast
and my courage faints,
let me hear Your voice, saying,
'You are my beloved one
in whom I am well pleased.'

Stand at the crossroads and look,
ask for the ancient paths,
and where the good way is,
and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.

In the name of Christ we stand,
and in His name
move across the land
in fearfulness and blessing.

To gather the Kingdom to the King
and claim this land for God;
a task indeed.

Give us to see Your will,
and power to walk in its path;
and lo! the night is routed and gone.

Lord, hasten the day
when those who fear You in every nation
will come from east and west,
from north and south,
and sit at table in Your Kingdom.
And, Lord,
let Your glory be seen in our land.

He has shown you, O man, what is right;
and what does the Lord require of you,
but to do justly, and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Keep me close to You, Lord.
Keep me close to You.
I lift my hands to You, Lord,
I lift them up to You.
Hands, Lord, Your gifts to us,
we stretch them up to You.
Always You hold them.

Help me find happiness
in my acceptance
of what is Your purpose for me:
in friendly eyes, in work well done,
in quietness born of trust,
and, most of all,
in the awareness of your presence
in my Spirit.
Oswald of Northumbria (605-642)

Windows on the World

You know, the older I get, the more I realize that each of us can look at the picture to the left, and while we see and probably describe nearly the same thing, we may do it in a different order, using a variety of vocabulary, and definitely a multitude of languages; more importantly is FROM where we are describing it. That perspective determines HOW we see what we see. Is this a picture of beauty? Or is it one of being "trapped", and looking out from some sort of cage? Is it looking out to freedom? Or out into the unknown?

More Swimming lessons

I got to swim today.........even though it is MINUS 7 degrees celcius outside......the pool is under a dome, so it's not so cold inside. Just before Christmas, I bought new swim goggles because my old ones were leaking and fogging up after 50 meters. Of course I thought, "Ok, I've got new goggles so I won't have any problems now." Well, about the third time out with the goggles, I noticed that after about 400 meters, they began fogging up. I got irritated, thinking, "I spent a lot of money on these goggles and look, they are fogging up....what a pain!!!" Then the thoughts started, "Why can't someone make fog-free goggles? What am I doing wrong that they are fogging up? I followed all the directions....I don't get it??!!!" Today, as I swam, they were foggy after 400 meters and I had to stop and lick the insides and rinse them out, after which I could again see clearly. However, today, the Lord gave me a new perspective on goggles. After about 400 meters, I need to have a short rest; I need to stretch a bit more before I continue. The foggy goggles give me that rest and that chance to stretch, in order to complete the last 600 meters strong, without injury, and with "seeing clearly." It's a "rest time"; necessary rest. That's where I am in life right now too. I'm in a "necessary rest" time......except that I've swum about 10,000 meters before taking a rest, so I really need to clean the goggles and stretch. I simply cannot go on without clean goggles, which, actually, I have to let the Lord clean because I cannot, they are simply too foggy. I'm hanging on to the end of the pool, trying to stretch too, and He is buoying me up, big time, not just so that I can simply catch my breath and swim on, but rather receive full restoration so that I can FINISH strong. Ultimately, it is not ME finishing, it is Christ IN me, living through me, but I've got to stop swimming myself and let Him do it. www.ceokids.org

Teaching challenges

This is my 16th year of teaching. You would think that nothing could rattle me....well, not much does anymore, but two things happened today in one class of 8 students, 11th graders, which reminded me that I need the Lord's patience every moment. First, I closed the door to the classroom after the students had come in. One kid said, "Oh Peter is still outside. He's in the bufe." I shut the door anyway and proceeded to start class. Peter shows up 10 minutes later; "Where were you Peter?" "Oh, I was in the bufe, and I had to stand in a long line, and I was buying things for like 4 other people." I just smiled and let it go. We then proceeded into the lesson, having already reviewed without Peter, and I asked them to take out their notebooks. Peter asks his classmate for paper and a pen......for 2 months now, Peter has not had a notebook or pen for my lesson. Today was the last straw. "Peter, you are, once again, unprepared for this lesson. Goodbye!" He gathered his jacket and left the class, with my warning not to come back to my class without a notebook and pen. We'll see....... So we proceed to talk about character and personality words. "Ok, who can spell the word 'extrovert' for me?" Angela raises her hand, "Extravert". "Actually, it's spelled with an "O" not an "A", Angela." "No, I looked it up in the dictionary and it can be spelled either way." Now I know this is not correct, but with Angela, one simply cannot argue...the past two months have been nothing but a boxing match with her over what is correct in English and what is not.......so I let her continue on in her bliss of thinking we can spell extrovert with an "a", and moved on with the lesson. These two examples show me just how difficult it is to demonstrate the love of a heavenly Father to high school kids.....what is the balance between discipline and correction and grace, all the while allowing His love to flow through instead of my flesh to rage to the surface? Ah, the challenges of teaching..........

Babies and God

ceo for the kids
I finally got together with a friend yesterday who gave birth to her first baby girl, Luca (pronounced "Loot-sah") back in early November. Baby and mom are doing well and are the typical picture of joy and love that should be true between a mom and her little girl. A. has faith, but I don't know exactly where she is with Jesus....He knows, and each time we get together, it seems God opens the door for conversations about Him! Yesterday was no different! As I watched A. and Luca together, I asked A. if she would ever want anything but the very best for her daughter....would she ever want to see her child hurt, in pain, or needing something? "Of course not!" Was A.'s response. The conversation continued and I said, "You know, isn't it funny how some people's perceptions of God are so twisted these days. They see God as a cosmic "kill-joy", as one who doesn't have their best interest in mind, etc. But if God really is God, then doesn't He too want to love on us, kiss us, hold us, give us everything we could ever need, protect us, encourage us, and be the loving daddy that He truly is?" A. responded, "Yea, that is the way we should understand God." What a challenge to all of us.....right before me is a beautiful picture of a mom POURING out her love to her daughter.....the human rendition of God's amazing love and grace extended to each one of us. Do we see Him this way? His Word is Truth............

Stereotypes

One of the topics I get to teach at school is stereotypes.....of Americans......and I want to share with you some of the things my students have said are "stereotypically" American. "Americans are not very intelligent." "Americans are fat." "Americans eat fast food all the time." "Americans are rich." "Americans want to dominate the world." "Americans are ignorant about other countries in the world." Well, you can imagine some of the interesting discussions we have centered around a number of these stereotypes. Regarding being fat, I ask them, "So, do you think I'm fat? What about Mr. P. (a colleague from last year)? Or what about Mr. D.? How about the Fulbright teacher Ms. H.?" I love their responses, "Well, no, you guys aren't fat." Then I ask, "Well, how many Americans do you know?" "Well, just you. But we see it in the movies and they are fat!" "Ok, what movies?" "You know that movie, "Super-Size Me"?" Then I have to chuckle a bit.....of course they know these are just stereotypes. Or do they? But I got to thinking about conversations like this, and how this kind of thinking, in general, overflows into our perception of God....into THEIR perceptions of God. I've asked some students when we've talked about religion, what their perceptions of God are. "Mean." "Totally loving." "Someone who wants to make us do stuff that's not fun." "Boring." "Irrelevant." "Like a big grandpa in the sky." Most of my students' perceptions of Americans are based on movies or TV programs. What are their perceptions of God based on? This hit me like a bolt of lightning because Jesus has sent US out into the world to be salt and light, to be living examples of people who have been born again, to put it into teenager terms, to be a "movie" about God's love and grace and mercy. When people look at me, do they see the "stereotype"? Or do they see Christ in me, life, truth and the way? Food for thought for all of us.

More babies!!!!

A week ago, another dear friend gave birth to her third child, a little boy whose name is Adam! I've not yet gotten to see little Adam because they don't let you in to see the babies here in Hungary. Mom and baby are now home, and the "interesting" sleep patterns have begun....dad is one of my colleagues at school, and yesterday, he was looking a bit rough. "How's it going?" I asked. "I got about 3 hours of sleep last night! Adam is crying and hungry and his tummy hurts." This exhausted daddy has also fallen in love with his second little boy. I'm so glad our heavenly father never tires of us when our tummys hurt or we are crying....he loves us unconditionally.

Bori's Baby girl, Bori

On Tuesday of this past week, I finally got to see my precious friend Bori's baby girl, Bori!!! They were at the children's hospital because baby Bori had been ill. When I walked in the room, a smiling little bundle of joy looked up at me and broke into a HUGE grin, arms and legs showing the excitement of yet another visitor!!! This precious miracle had quite obviously gotten over her illness, thank the Lord! One noteable "feature" on little Bori is her "Spock-like" ears......I asked Bori about it, and she said that in neither her family nor in Attila's family is there anyone with these "pointy" ears. It almost looks like someone, in the developing process in the womb, pinched each ear a bit and created this "Spock" pointy-ness. It's not huge or ugly, just very unique. Immediately, I said, "You know what Bori, I think that God sent His angel into your womb to grab hold of Bori's ears and "claim" little Bori for God's kingdom! These little ears are His mark on Bori, that she is HIS! There certainly were enough people praying for this little one, and He most definitely loves Bori, even more than you do!" Bori smiled hugely and acknowledged God's great love for both of them. God is so good at giving us His unique "markings", which are a continual reminder that ultimately, we belong to Him. May BOTH Bori's and Attila come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord! www.ceokids.org

Swimming lesson #3,427

I always seem to learn something when I go swimming! Last night, after jumping in and getting into my typical backstroke, I was cruising along, keeping my eye out for the wire that "warns" me that 10 strokes later, I need to turn before slamming into the wall. As I swam, I thought, "Gee, I'm really out of shape because this is taking me FOREVER to get to the other end of the pool," when SLAM......my right wrist slammed onto the end of the pool and I smashed my head against the wall. (Luckily, not too hard!) Pain shot through my wrist and arm, but upon moving it, I was sure I had not broken it. A bit embarrassed as the guys in the lane next to me looked at me as I gathered myself together, I immediately started back up the lane again. I thought to myself, "Is the wire above the pool at the other end? I need to pay close attention!" It was.....and 10 strokes after the wire, I flipped over (I always swim backstroke) and took my one stroke toward the wall. What is the lesson I gleaned from the "missing wire"? I began thinking about the "wires" in our lives as Christians....the markers....and of course, the most important one is the Word of God. If we are not immersed in the Word of God, asking the Holy Spirit to guide and direct our thoughts and reveal His Truths to us through the Word, then we are bound to SLAM into the wall, and get bruised, or worse. Take away the guidelines of Truth, and we are left guessing where we are, where the dangers are, where we are going, and what will it be like when we get there. Thank you Father, for this vital lesson. I need your Truth, every day, every moment, at every turn, in order to make every decision, so that I don't slam into the wall and break something. www.ceokids.org

Out of the fiery furnace

Last night I had a difficult phone call with a friend. My purely emotional reaction was hurt, betrayal and a profound sense of sadness. I went to bed, hoping a good night's sleep would be restorative. I awakened, wide awake, at 2:30 a.m., heavy-hearted. I wanted to talk to someone, to have someone to pray for me, when the Lord gently reminded me that I could come directly to Him.....duh!!! As I prayed, I asked God to give me SOMETHING from His Word. He said, "Daniel 3, especially verses 24-25." I turned on the light and opened my Bible, wondering what Daniel 3 had to do with anything. I began reading the whole chapter, and when I reached verse 24 where Nebudchadnezzar "leaps up" and sees not THREE men in the fiery furnace but FOUR, and the fourth looks like a "son of the gods," tears nearly leapt from my eyes; the Lord gently said, "I am with you in YOUR fiery furnace right now." I bawled and bawled, confessing my sin, repenting for not believing that indeed God willingly walks into the fiery furnace He's allowed us to be "tossed into", and it's out of the fiery furnace that He is bringing forth His purified gold! If that wasn't enough, after just 4 hours of sleep, I went into school with such a renewed love and compassion for my students, and teaching today was such joy! After school, I took some trousers to the seamstress across the street from my flat and the Lord opened the door for me to tell her about how much Jesus loves her! Finally, tonight I got to hear the story from a dear friend of mine who shared how she was suffering terribly from an inner ear inflammation and when she asked the Lord to show her if there was anything in her life she needed to deal with, and He said, "Yes, you are full of envy!" Immediately, the Lord showed her her enviousness and she began confessing and repenting, and just as immediately, the horrible pain and inflammation started to subside, very rapidly, along with another 7 month excruciatingly painful physical problem. Out of the fiery furnace, God brings forth His gold, which He is refining for His glory. Are we willing to forsake all, worship Him alone, risk being thrown bound into the fiery furnace? We can be if we see God for who He really is....one who is IN the fiery furnace with us, bringing us out, and continuing to do His refining work in and through us in the lives of the ones He loves!!! www.ceokids.org

Have we really died?

I did something I often do here....I went out to eat alone, bringing a book along with me. I was struck by the following quote in "The Transformation of the Inner Man" by John and Paula Sandford. "I was to see in those seven years of suffering that the Holy Spirit does not intend to improve us or make us better and better! He intends to bring us to fullness of death and make us new.....If, on this side of mankind's ultimate perfection, the Holy Spirit were to so transform any area of a man's flesh that he could always rely on that dimension of his character, that man would inevitably cease to lean on Jesus and begin to trust in his own flesh. His perfection would thus have to be total, or he could not escape the corruption of pride." I have a friend, who will go unnamed, whose answer to the question, "How are you doing?" is often, getting better and better. I often wondered why that answer disturbed me. This same friend would say, "I gotta keep getting better!" I always cringed when he would say this; and Sandford's words above now help me understand more clearly, my continual cringing around this friend. We cannot get better.....we need to die. Only in dying is Jesus manifested in us. Our strivings to become better and better are fruitless attempts at trying to have a part in our own holiness. The only part we can play is dying, because it is God who transforms death into His life! www.ceokids.org

New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!!! It's been a while since I've blogged....after a sort of whirlwind visit to the U.S. to see family and friends, I'm back in cold Szeged, Hungary, ready to start 2006! A year of promise lies ahead.......promise of great hope and life! May we embrace all the Lord has for us and is calling us to in this year!

Babies!!!

There is little in life that is more exciting than the birth of a baby! There is something about a new life taking its first gasp of air and letting out that scream, letting everyone know "I'm here!" that warms and excites every heart involved. A dear, dear friend of mine here just gave birth to her first baby, a girl, but it was not a fun nor an exciting delivery. In fact it was riddled with complications; prayer alerts were sent out, and in the end, the baby was delivered via C-section. The happy parents then had to face having the baby whisked away less than 24-hours after her birth to the children's clinic where she is lying in an incubator because of lack of oxygen. Understandably, the parents are nervous, and wondering what will happen....will little Bori be ok? Even with the assurances of the doctors, they still fear the unknown. A new life in jeopardy, in their eyes. Struggling to survive. Many other lives praying and hoping that this little girl will be ok. Amazing, isn't it, how much we realize the value of life at times like these, and how we would do anything to keep this baby girl with us because her life is valuable and precious? May we see every life in the same way, no matter what stage in the life-process that person may be. Every situation causes us to trust in the grace and love of our Lord for life!

Parties, presents and passion for life!

Last night we celebrated the 16th annual Deak High School English Department Christmas party at my house! Honestly, I put very little effort into this years' party; lots of candles decorated the room, but only one string of lights still works, and my pitiful little 15 year old Christmas tree graced the gift table nicely. I also didn't go around making sure so and so was coming....I put the invitation up on the staff-room board, said a couple of reminders, made no phone calls to anyone who may not have heard about it due to being on maternity leave or having been a former English teacher at our school (yes, they come too!!!), and so when people began arriving, I was happy. Then they kept coming....then faces from the past arrived....and more arrived....til we had over 20 people at the largest, and I believe, best Christmas party ever!!! Of course there was more food than all of us could eat, plenty to drink, lots of laughter, and great conversations. We played a new game this year which everyone loved and they laughed a LOT! Some people left after a couple of hours, and others hung out til 11 p.m. I was, quite honestly, not really excited about this party this year.....but as I baked the pumpkin pie, made the chariot chicken, had Handel's Messiah playing in the background, my excitement grew. Then as people arrived, and started getting caught up with each other and laughing and exchanging stories, I realized that it's all worth it. Everyone brought one gift, but I believe everyone left with at least one tangible gift, and many intangible ones. As we prepare ourselves for the celebration of the greatest Gift of all, the coming of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, may the intangible gifts give you a renewed passion for life! www.ceokids.org

Another loss

As a teacher, I continually look forward to hearing about the lives of my former students, where they are, what is happening in their lives, the joys the struggles, and so on. What has shocked me, once again, is learning of yet another former student, a young man of 22, who has died this past weekend. You don't expect to hear these things about your former students....just like parents with their own children, we teachers expect that our students will outlive us. Wrapping one's mind around such devastating news seems impossible; what must it be like for the family? Once again, the daily reminder comes that life is not only precious, but can be short. How are we living it?

I heard a shriek!

I was checking email this morning when suddenly, I heard the unmistakeable shriek of a cat! So of course I leapt from my chair and dashed outside to find out what minor tragedy had befallen one of my two cats. My neighbor was taking her garbage to the cans outside and as she was going out the door, Toby, my wild, adventuresome boy, tried to get out the door and into the yard, where he is not allowed to go. Kati pulled the door shut just as Toby was slipping his paw under the door to pry it open....thus the painful shriek of a paw caught in a closing door. I began to think about how often the Lord has to close our "paws" in doors and how painful those times can be. Yet the Lord knows it is for our own good; it's His loving way of setting boundaries. Toby came sauntering up the stairs and through the door toward me, not limping, but visibly disappointed that he had not made his escape. He looked with skepticism at Kati when she came to check on his paw, but all was quickly forgiven, and he is fine. Would that we would see that all that God does for us is for His ultimate glory and for our good..... www.ceokids.org

Scary statistics

My first lesson today was with my 12th grade bilingual class, whom I've taught for four years. We have one of those "love-hate relationships"....I love them, but a couple of them don't love me too much. That's ok. Today, we got to talking about Hungary's "achievements" and it's "ranking" in some interesting areas. I did not know until today that Hungary boasts the highest number of Nobel Prize winners of any nation! However, it seems that very few people know that fact. Instead, the following facts are published for the world to see. Budapest is the leading center for pornography in all of central europe. Hungary is second in the world when it comes to suicides. Hungary is also second in europe when it comes to obesity. They also have one of the highest abortion rates and divorce rates in europe. I asked my students why they think this country is such a "leader" in these areas. One of my students commented, "Hungarians are just really stupid!" I countered with, "But I thought Hungarians were considered to be extremely intelligent!" A resounding "No!" came from more than one student. Then one of my brightest girls piped in and said, "Hungarians are well-educated, but they are not intelligent. Anybody can get a diploma, but knowing how to use that diploma and the knowledge is another question." Well-educated but not intelligent. These comments coming from high school seniors, preparing to take their cumulative final exams in 5 months...not the typical "I know everything" attitude one sometimes expects from high school seniors. Maybe they will be the leaders in helping to change some of these scary statistics and move Hungary forward! I pray this be so. www.ceokids.org

Thanksgiving thoughts

I was teaching on Thanksgiving Day this year....just as I have for the past 6 years here in Hungary, as this is an American holiday not celebrated here. Many always ask me if I miss celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm getting used to it....of course I miss the turkey, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, etc., but then I get to spend the entire week talking about these yummy things in my classes at school. I also get to teach the REAL meaning of Thanksgiving....not that the Pilgrims were "thanking the Indians", which they were, but ultimately, they were thanking the God of the universe. Yes, I have the freedom to teach that here without getting into trouble! I then get to have my students write down 5 things they are thankful for; Hungarian students are pretty much the same as American students I think: "I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my pets, my home." Some of the more revealing thanks included: "I'm thankful for my faith in God; for my grandmother who came and took care of me after my surgery; for the fact that I have a place to live and don't live on the streets; for my best friend who is always there for me when my family is screaming." So, each year, I grow more thankful that I actually teach on Thanksgiving, because I get the blessing of learning more about my kids here. I'd still love some good cranberry sauce, but maybe I'll get some of that at Christmas time!

Helping or hindering?

There is an incredible power in words. As James said, our tongues are powerful tools, which can be used as weapons or as means of healing. I've experienced and extended both, and at this point in my life, I don't have time for stinging words, intended in some strange way to "bring healing", but which only continue to exert power and domination. For me, Ephesians 4:29 is vital in every relationship: "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is helpful for building others up according to their need." Here's the tricky part though: what I believe will build someone up may not do so, and visa versa. When that person shares that I have hurt them with my words, I must be quick to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and seek, in the future, to build that person up according to his or her needs, not according to my perception of what his or her needs may be. Of course this can only be done in the power of the Holy Spirit as He reveals what the needs of that person are and what words will bring healing and will minister deeply to that person's needs. Lord, make me teachable, humble, able to hear Your voice, that the words I speak would build people up and not tear them down. Help me to die to myself and to live only for You, to walk in the power of your Word, hearing Your voice alone, speaking only that which You want me to speak in order to meet the needs of those You have put into my life. May I be willing to hear the rebukes of a friend, repent, ask for forgiveness, confront, rebuke, and grant forgiveness in every situation in my life. More than anything, Lord, let me walk so closely with You that any competing voices would be silenced, and we dance together to the melodious music which You have written for my life. Amen. www.ceokids.org

Hungarian funeral

Today I attended my third funeral during my 5 1/2 year life here in Hungary. My 71 year old neighbor, Etelka, died and I and all the neighbors attended her funeral. Etelka lived with her daughter in the flat next to mine, and I learned just yesterday that they had lived together for 31 years. So Kati, her daughter, is feeling a tremendous loss. We all are. Despite the fact that 80% of the time Etelka was complaining about some physical malady, she was a "tough old bird", weekly bringing the laundry outside to hang in the sunshine. She took excellent care of my cats, and they are now letting Kati know how much they miss her by sleeping on Etelka's bed when they go to visit Kati. Funerals here are different than in the U.S. There is real closure here.....everyone walks to the gravesite, the body or urn is lowered into the grave, and the gravediggers shovel the dirt on top of the urn or coffin. Many may shudder at the thought of hearing the "THUD, THUD, THUD" of the dirt, and I shuddered when I heard it the first time 3 years ago, but the reality of ashes to ashes and dust to dust, and the finality of physical life is experienced in this ceremony. Following the burial, the gravediggers place all of the gorgeous flower arrangements that people have brought on top of the grave....a colorful display of life emerging from the grave. I will miss Etelka....in the last 4 months, she was always wanting to give me a hug....I think she needed some extra love these last few months. I pray she is basking in the eternal loving arms of Jesus now! www.ceokids.org

Learning curves

What an interesting week it has been. Exhaustion is an interesting place to be. In it and through it, I know God is working on my behalf, for His glory. Romans 8:28...... To borrow a quote from a friend: "I know that unless the Lord moves, my efforts are wasted." This resonates deeply in my soul as I am in a stage of resting; I know that there are deep, significant, life-changing lessons the Lord wants to teach me through this time that are going to radically change my life. The process may not be fun, but if anything can change me to be more like my Savior, then the journey is worth it. www.ceokids.org

learning how to say "no"

Last Friday, it hit me: "I'm tired!" Not just the end of the week kind of tired, but the REALLY tired kind of tired. So, this week, I'm not doing much....working, but nothing extra. I've got to take some steps to get rejuvenated, revived; the batteries are empty and in need of charging. It will be an interesting journey, learning how to say no, learning how to REST, but it has to be done. God is good. My Bible study girls are taking over; they are ready and want to lead. God is good. www.ceokids.org

Party evangelism

One of the girls in the high school/university Bible study told us a story tonight about a party she went to during the fall break. She noticed the guy who was taking pictures at the party was wearing a W.W.J.D bracelet (What Would Jesus Do?). So she walked up to him and started talking with him. Well, others nearby overheard their conversation and after a while, 5 of them went off to a quieter part of the room and sat down to discuss spiritual things! This young lady was so excited to be able to share her faith in Jesus with these others, who were very excited to talk about their various philosophies of life. "I couldn't believe that here we were at a party and talking about faith! It was so cool to see that Jesus even shows up at parties!" I then tossed out the question to everyone at Bible study: "If Jesus were here in the flesh, where would he be hanging out?" Answers: probably at the bar, at the bus station, talking to the homeless people, he'd be in the hospital. May we be where Jesus would be! www.ceokids.org

ups and downs of life

I just enjoyed a wonderful week away in Croatia, mostly spent enjoying the seacoast. Some of the time was spent with friends; part of it was spent completely alone. I left exhausted; I returned to Hungary quite refreshed. I am back in the thick of things here, and one of those "things" is the death of my neighbor's mom, which happened last night. I remember giving her a hug goodbye before I drove off to Croatia. I remember thinking, "I hope she is still here when I get back." She has been quite ill recently. I learned today that she left this world yesterday. I am grieving as both she and her daughter lived in the apartment next to mine, and I will miss her smile and the way she dearly cared for my cats. As I got in the car tonight and checked my phone messages, I got a message from a dear friend here whose baby girl was born this afternoon!!! Luca is her name, and while she is 3 weeks early, she is healthy and fine! We prayed for a 4 hour delivery and she came in 2 1/2! The ups and downs of life; they just keep on coming, don't they? www.ceokids.org

how simple.

Last week, I got to talk to a little boy at the children's home. Well, you might not call age 12 little, but he is the youngest boy in the home now. Robi has big, brown eyes, crying out for love and attention, but at the same time, running for his life, afraid to let anyone too close, cuz he might get hurt again. He's quite an artist, drawing trains and trolleys with exact specifications, and has dreams of possibly driving a train or a trolley. As we talked, the conversation turned to faith, and I asked him straight up: "Robi, do you know what Jesus wants?" He looked at me with his wide brown eyes and said, "What?" "He wants to have a personal relationship with every person on the earth, including you. He wants to come into your heart and live there forever, and then you will never be alone again." Robi's eyes just stared at me, and then they turned downward as he said, "When I go to bed at night, the demons are all around me." I told him that if he calls on Jesus, the demons have to leave. As I drove home that afternoon, I thought about how complicated we can make the Gospel sometimes, when in reality, what the Bible says is that being a believer is all about having a relationship with Jesus Himself. I pray Robi comes into that relationship so he too can go to bed knowing there is One who will never leave nor forsake him, ever! www.ceokids.org

Making a difference

One of my "sons" from the children's home here was accepted to the teacher's training college here in town and is studying English and Computer studies. His acceptance is a miracle in itself. He failed the 10th grade, was in deep depression, and with lots of love and encouragement, has now emerged to the point of being excited about waking up in the morning to go to school! Today, he came over early this morning to have me look over a speech he must give on the Tudors in his English History class. As I started reading his speech, I got a bit discouraged because it seemed to be copied directly from the sources. I decided to "test" him....I started asking him the meanings of the most difficult words in the text. Repeatedly, he was able to explain to me, in English no less, the meanings of these words. After a short time it dawned on me that this kid has done a TON of work, looking up and learning all these words!!! He was so proud, and rightly so. It's hard to believe this is the same kid who a couple of years ago had no goals, no interests in life, and now, refuses to speak Hungarian with me because he wants to practice his English all the time! God is very, very good....He is working mightily, and it is fun to be making a difference in a young man's life! www.ceokids.org

A week to remember

You ever had one of those weeks that you definitely want to remember because God did so much in you that you feel like a changed person? That was this past week.......FULL, full, full, and so incredibly blessed with meetings with people, conversations totally directed by the Holy Spirit, and things falling into place like never before. Yet, it wasn't "easy" so to say. I learned a big lesson in obedience, and even bigger lessons about grace, mercy and love. www.ceokids.org

In the River

I attended a very good conference on Saturday in Budapest. The main speaker's theme revolved around the picture of a river, flowing mightily. This river is the river of the living God; God is moving and His children have 3 choices: oppose the river, sit on the bank of the river, or get IN the river and go with the Lord. We don't necessarily know where the river is going to take us, but we know Who is directing the river. Both the "opposers" and the "sitters" are on the throne of their lives; only the ones willing to jump in the river and trust God to take them to His perfect place will truly experience the joy and adventure of living in the Lord! www.ceokids.org

Birthday Celebration

One of my "sons" from the children's home turned 21 yesterday! Last week, I decided to invite him out for dinner to help him celebrate his birthday. I'd already decided what I wanted to give him as a gift: two Christian worship cassettes and a Hungarian/English, English/Hungarian dictionary. So, I went to pick him up and asked him where he wanted to go. He'd asked one of the social workers at the home where we should go. We ended up at one of my favorite fish restaurants, and when we sat down, I gave him his gift. He opened it and a huge smile ran across his face; he gave me the traditional Hungarian kisses on the cheeks as a "thank you", but what he said next completely floored me. "I cannot remember the last time anyone did anything for me for my birthday. I've not had a birthday celebration like this ever in my life, and it's been 7 years since I've had any sort of birthday celebration. I've never gotten a gift!" I was speechless and immediately thought back on all the wonderful celebrations I've had throughout my life, the times when friends and family went all out to make my birthday special, and here this young man is, having his first "real celebration" and receiving his first "real gift" at age 21. Every day here brings a deeper perspective on what is really important in life. www.ceokids.org

Talk about orphans!!!

One of my favorite "kids" from the children's home is pregnant. She has a steady boyfriend and they are engaged. She's due in early December. I found out about the pregnancy two weeks ago...a part of me felt "hurt" that she didn't tell me, but then I learned that her own siblings learned about her pregnancy just 2 weeks before I did, and her brother only learned about it this past weekend! I'm learning some pretty interesting lessons this month about being an orphan. Don't trust....you may be let down; don't share your good news....others may pour cold water on it; stay closed and protected....this way, you cannot be rejected. From my standpoint, I'm learning first-hand to move forward in acceptance, warmth, and encouragment, all smothered in love!!

Teaching stories

Every teacher should probably write a book about the teaching experiences he or she has throughout his or her career. I always wanted to compile the funny sentences my students wrote in their essays or on tests, but have been too lazy to do so. And then there are the moments that one would rather not have, like I experienced this week. I was teaching my 9th grade bilingual students different body parts and injuries or pains that can happen. We got to "black eye", and I asked if anyone had ever experienced having a black eye? One girl, who started the year as a bright eyed, friendly, enthusiastic attentive young lady 3 weeks ago, piped up and said, "Yes! I've had a black eye?" Wrong teacher move #1: "So, how did you get the black eye?" Student: "My dad punched me." It's that awkward silence that falls over the room as no one, including me, knows quite how to respond appropriately to such a comment, that is so unnerving. I finally squeaked out a "Really?" "Yea, he really did!" "That must have been terrible!" I responded, employing my best teaching psychology tactics. "So, let's move on to the expression "swollen lip"; the attempt to distract everyone from the uncomfortable reality that this girl has just willingly uncovered before her new classmates. It's moments like these in the classroom that remind me that that I am not teaching a subject, I'm teaching students, I'm teaching people, and probably the most important thing I can do for them is to love them, because that may be the only thing they remember 10 years from now from their time spent in my class. www.ceokids.org

Refiner's Fire

They walked in discouraged. Hopefully, they left encouraged. I truly had nothing to give. But when the Holy Spirit falls, it's not us who are giving, but the Lord Himself. A full four months after an amazing conference here in Szeged, we are finding ourselves in the King's refiner's fire. Wisdom is needed to discern which are attacks from the enemy, and which are simply refining measures the Lord is taking in each person's life. A very wise friend recently shared with me that it is necessary for us to have 4 people in our lives: one "above" us to whom we can look for wisdom and guidance, for discipleship; one "below" us into whom we are pouring our lives (like a Paul to a Timothy); and two "next to us, one on each side" to walk alongside us in encouragement and accountability and deep friendship. If any one of these is missing, then the "cross" balance is thrown askew. I'm seeing in these people who've been so set free that most of them have really imbalanced "crosses"......there's little or no discipleship going on, in either direction, and relationships with those "next to them" only go so deep; no wonder they feel like they are flailing. Not only does God have people in His refiner's fire, burning off the dross, but people don't even have the basics about how to disciple or be discipled. It's an interesting place to be; Lord send your workers into the harvest fields, for they are white!

Making a CD

Probably only the musicians out there, a group I do NOT claim to be a part of, know and understand just how much work goes into those wonderful CDs we all pop into our discmans, car CD players and home stereo systems! My friend and sister in Christ, Zsuzsa, and I are working on a dual-language CD: 8 songs in English and 8 in Hungarian. Each of us wrote our songs (or rather received them from the Lord!) and now we are spending hours and hours in the studio working on a 16-song CD we pray glorifies Jesus and draws MANY into a relationship with the King of Kings. Today, after 2 1/2 hours of painstaking work, we finished 2 songs.....we have 6 completely finished.....so, you can calculate just how many MORE hours we will need to spend in the studio finishing the other 10. But what joy, to hear God's word sung, His Truth declared! We pray we will persevere to the end, as it is easy to "settle" for what sounds "good" instead of striving to make it the "best" for His glory! www.ceokids.org

This is what life is about

ceo for the kids
As I drove to the children's home today, I prayed, "Lord, guide and direct my steps, and have your way in every conversation." Well, I spent 2 hours talking with "my son" about God.....having a relationship with Jesus, and how much God loves him!!! This is the first such conversation with him in 5 years, at least at this level. What a GREAT day!

Live TV

You know, at one point in my life, way back in high school, I thought I wanted to go into radio, television and film. In fact, during that infamous time in every 17 year old American's life, I was searching frantically for colleges and universities which had RTVF programs. Well, tonight convinced me that I made the right decision NOT to pursue that field. Yesterday, my boss at school asked me if I would do an interview for the local TV station as a foreigner who is here and is learning Hungarian. I thought, sure, I'll speak English and say a few words in Hungarian, they will edit the tape so it's very professional, and it will be great. Well, tonight when I arrive, I ask quite innocently, "So, is this going to be taped?" The person in charge said, "Uh, no, this is live TV!" I asked, "And do I speak English or Hungarian?" "Well, Hungarian of course!!!" My once beautiful, dry, blue blouse began to show serious signs of sweat stains under each arm almost immediately. And of course I had to sit there for over 1/2 an hour waiting for "our" turn......I was going on with a Hungarian woman who now lives in America! I sat there waiting for the camera to turn on, and white-knuckled the chair, and, of course, prayed that God would give me the gift of speaking in Hungarian! I can't even remember what I said, except for one sentence at the end when asked a favorite Hungarian word: Tele van a hocipom.......I'm fed up!!! It's a very funny expression in Hungarian, and made everyone in the studio burst into laughter, so if nothing else, I made people laugh. I walked out of there, reassured that being an English major and going into teaching was a MUCH better choice than live TV..........but, many would say, "You have to be "live" every day in front of your students." Yes, but somehow that is much easier........yet another picture of God's goodness in His callings on people's lives!

Back in the saddle

I nearly shuddered when I realized I'm starting my 17th year of teaching!! I can still vividly remember my first year, teaching 8th grade middle school language arts in Orange, VA to kids ages 13-16. Now, I teach grades 9-12, and this year, I have 14 different groups of students during the course of a week. Some of these students I will meet only 32 times the entire year. I'm really excited to be a part of these kids' lives, and for them to be a part of mine. I believe this year, for the first time since having arrived in 2000, I have a new understanding of what my students are "going through" in my class. My experiences learning Hungarian this summer in a high level course have made me much more compassionate and caring toward those who may not "get it" the first time. May the Lord increase my patience and love for all of my students!

Swim lessons........again..........

It's Thursday night, and I find myself at the swimming pool under the stars now, as the light wanes early....at least before 8:00 when swimming starts. I doned my cap and goggles, and after 100 meters, my goggles were completely foggy. So, I yanked them down around my neck and proceeded to swim goggle-less...not too big a deal when swimming backstroke, but it dawned on me just how much more clearly I could see without my goggles!!! The Lord reminded me of the verse in Corinthians: Now we see through a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face. It was so much easier to see everything without the foggy goggles on...I swam straighter, I swam harder and enjoyed myself a whole lot more. Hmmmm, there's something to be said about having clear vision.......