Babies!!!

There is little in life that is more exciting than the birth of a baby! There is something about a new life taking its first gasp of air and letting out that scream, letting everyone know "I'm here!" that warms and excites every heart involved. A dear, dear friend of mine here just gave birth to her first baby, a girl, but it was not a fun nor an exciting delivery. In fact it was riddled with complications; prayer alerts were sent out, and in the end, the baby was delivered via C-section. The happy parents then had to face having the baby whisked away less than 24-hours after her birth to the children's clinic where she is lying in an incubator because of lack of oxygen. Understandably, the parents are nervous, and wondering what will happen....will little Bori be ok? Even with the assurances of the doctors, they still fear the unknown. A new life in jeopardy, in their eyes. Struggling to survive. Many other lives praying and hoping that this little girl will be ok. Amazing, isn't it, how much we realize the value of life at times like these, and how we would do anything to keep this baby girl with us because her life is valuable and precious? May we see every life in the same way, no matter what stage in the life-process that person may be. Every situation causes us to trust in the grace and love of our Lord for life!

Parties, presents and passion for life!

Last night we celebrated the 16th annual Deak High School English Department Christmas party at my house! Honestly, I put very little effort into this years' party; lots of candles decorated the room, but only one string of lights still works, and my pitiful little 15 year old Christmas tree graced the gift table nicely. I also didn't go around making sure so and so was coming....I put the invitation up on the staff-room board, said a couple of reminders, made no phone calls to anyone who may not have heard about it due to being on maternity leave or having been a former English teacher at our school (yes, they come too!!!), and so when people began arriving, I was happy. Then they kept coming....then faces from the past arrived....and more arrived....til we had over 20 people at the largest, and I believe, best Christmas party ever!!! Of course there was more food than all of us could eat, plenty to drink, lots of laughter, and great conversations. We played a new game this year which everyone loved and they laughed a LOT! Some people left after a couple of hours, and others hung out til 11 p.m. I was, quite honestly, not really excited about this party this year.....but as I baked the pumpkin pie, made the chariot chicken, had Handel's Messiah playing in the background, my excitement grew. Then as people arrived, and started getting caught up with each other and laughing and exchanging stories, I realized that it's all worth it. Everyone brought one gift, but I believe everyone left with at least one tangible gift, and many intangible ones. As we prepare ourselves for the celebration of the greatest Gift of all, the coming of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, may the intangible gifts give you a renewed passion for life! www.ceokids.org

Another loss

As a teacher, I continually look forward to hearing about the lives of my former students, where they are, what is happening in their lives, the joys the struggles, and so on. What has shocked me, once again, is learning of yet another former student, a young man of 22, who has died this past weekend. You don't expect to hear these things about your former students....just like parents with their own children, we teachers expect that our students will outlive us. Wrapping one's mind around such devastating news seems impossible; what must it be like for the family? Once again, the daily reminder comes that life is not only precious, but can be short. How are we living it?

I heard a shriek!

I was checking email this morning when suddenly, I heard the unmistakeable shriek of a cat! So of course I leapt from my chair and dashed outside to find out what minor tragedy had befallen one of my two cats. My neighbor was taking her garbage to the cans outside and as she was going out the door, Toby, my wild, adventuresome boy, tried to get out the door and into the yard, where he is not allowed to go. Kati pulled the door shut just as Toby was slipping his paw under the door to pry it open....thus the painful shriek of a paw caught in a closing door. I began to think about how often the Lord has to close our "paws" in doors and how painful those times can be. Yet the Lord knows it is for our own good; it's His loving way of setting boundaries. Toby came sauntering up the stairs and through the door toward me, not limping, but visibly disappointed that he had not made his escape. He looked with skepticism at Kati when she came to check on his paw, but all was quickly forgiven, and he is fine. Would that we would see that all that God does for us is for His ultimate glory and for our good..... www.ceokids.org

Scary statistics

My first lesson today was with my 12th grade bilingual class, whom I've taught for four years. We have one of those "love-hate relationships"....I love them, but a couple of them don't love me too much. That's ok. Today, we got to talking about Hungary's "achievements" and it's "ranking" in some interesting areas. I did not know until today that Hungary boasts the highest number of Nobel Prize winners of any nation! However, it seems that very few people know that fact. Instead, the following facts are published for the world to see. Budapest is the leading center for pornography in all of central europe. Hungary is second in the world when it comes to suicides. Hungary is also second in europe when it comes to obesity. They also have one of the highest abortion rates and divorce rates in europe. I asked my students why they think this country is such a "leader" in these areas. One of my students commented, "Hungarians are just really stupid!" I countered with, "But I thought Hungarians were considered to be extremely intelligent!" A resounding "No!" came from more than one student. Then one of my brightest girls piped in and said, "Hungarians are well-educated, but they are not intelligent. Anybody can get a diploma, but knowing how to use that diploma and the knowledge is another question." Well-educated but not intelligent. These comments coming from high school seniors, preparing to take their cumulative final exams in 5 months...not the typical "I know everything" attitude one sometimes expects from high school seniors. Maybe they will be the leaders in helping to change some of these scary statistics and move Hungary forward! I pray this be so. www.ceokids.org

Thanksgiving thoughts

I was teaching on Thanksgiving Day this year....just as I have for the past 6 years here in Hungary, as this is an American holiday not celebrated here. Many always ask me if I miss celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm getting used to it....of course I miss the turkey, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, etc., but then I get to spend the entire week talking about these yummy things in my classes at school. I also get to teach the REAL meaning of Thanksgiving....not that the Pilgrims were "thanking the Indians", which they were, but ultimately, they were thanking the God of the universe. Yes, I have the freedom to teach that here without getting into trouble! I then get to have my students write down 5 things they are thankful for; Hungarian students are pretty much the same as American students I think: "I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my pets, my home." Some of the more revealing thanks included: "I'm thankful for my faith in God; for my grandmother who came and took care of me after my surgery; for the fact that I have a place to live and don't live on the streets; for my best friend who is always there for me when my family is screaming." So, each year, I grow more thankful that I actually teach on Thanksgiving, because I get the blessing of learning more about my kids here. I'd still love some good cranberry sauce, but maybe I'll get some of that at Christmas time!

Helping or hindering?

There is an incredible power in words. As James said, our tongues are powerful tools, which can be used as weapons or as means of healing. I've experienced and extended both, and at this point in my life, I don't have time for stinging words, intended in some strange way to "bring healing", but which only continue to exert power and domination. For me, Ephesians 4:29 is vital in every relationship: "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is helpful for building others up according to their need." Here's the tricky part though: what I believe will build someone up may not do so, and visa versa. When that person shares that I have hurt them with my words, I must be quick to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and seek, in the future, to build that person up according to his or her needs, not according to my perception of what his or her needs may be. Of course this can only be done in the power of the Holy Spirit as He reveals what the needs of that person are and what words will bring healing and will minister deeply to that person's needs. Lord, make me teachable, humble, able to hear Your voice, that the words I speak would build people up and not tear them down. Help me to die to myself and to live only for You, to walk in the power of your Word, hearing Your voice alone, speaking only that which You want me to speak in order to meet the needs of those You have put into my life. May I be willing to hear the rebukes of a friend, repent, ask for forgiveness, confront, rebuke, and grant forgiveness in every situation in my life. More than anything, Lord, let me walk so closely with You that any competing voices would be silenced, and we dance together to the melodious music which You have written for my life. Amen. www.ceokids.org

Hungarian funeral

Today I attended my third funeral during my 5 1/2 year life here in Hungary. My 71 year old neighbor, Etelka, died and I and all the neighbors attended her funeral. Etelka lived with her daughter in the flat next to mine, and I learned just yesterday that they had lived together for 31 years. So Kati, her daughter, is feeling a tremendous loss. We all are. Despite the fact that 80% of the time Etelka was complaining about some physical malady, she was a "tough old bird", weekly bringing the laundry outside to hang in the sunshine. She took excellent care of my cats, and they are now letting Kati know how much they miss her by sleeping on Etelka's bed when they go to visit Kati. Funerals here are different than in the U.S. There is real closure here.....everyone walks to the gravesite, the body or urn is lowered into the grave, and the gravediggers shovel the dirt on top of the urn or coffin. Many may shudder at the thought of hearing the "THUD, THUD, THUD" of the dirt, and I shuddered when I heard it the first time 3 years ago, but the reality of ashes to ashes and dust to dust, and the finality of physical life is experienced in this ceremony. Following the burial, the gravediggers place all of the gorgeous flower arrangements that people have brought on top of the grave....a colorful display of life emerging from the grave. I will miss Etelka....in the last 4 months, she was always wanting to give me a hug....I think she needed some extra love these last few months. I pray she is basking in the eternal loving arms of Jesus now! www.ceokids.org

Learning curves

What an interesting week it has been. Exhaustion is an interesting place to be. In it and through it, I know God is working on my behalf, for His glory. Romans 8:28...... To borrow a quote from a friend: "I know that unless the Lord moves, my efforts are wasted." This resonates deeply in my soul as I am in a stage of resting; I know that there are deep, significant, life-changing lessons the Lord wants to teach me through this time that are going to radically change my life. The process may not be fun, but if anything can change me to be more like my Savior, then the journey is worth it. www.ceokids.org

learning how to say "no"

Last Friday, it hit me: "I'm tired!" Not just the end of the week kind of tired, but the REALLY tired kind of tired. So, this week, I'm not doing much....working, but nothing extra. I've got to take some steps to get rejuvenated, revived; the batteries are empty and in need of charging. It will be an interesting journey, learning how to say no, learning how to REST, but it has to be done. God is good. My Bible study girls are taking over; they are ready and want to lead. God is good. www.ceokids.org

Party evangelism

One of the girls in the high school/university Bible study told us a story tonight about a party she went to during the fall break. She noticed the guy who was taking pictures at the party was wearing a W.W.J.D bracelet (What Would Jesus Do?). So she walked up to him and started talking with him. Well, others nearby overheard their conversation and after a while, 5 of them went off to a quieter part of the room and sat down to discuss spiritual things! This young lady was so excited to be able to share her faith in Jesus with these others, who were very excited to talk about their various philosophies of life. "I couldn't believe that here we were at a party and talking about faith! It was so cool to see that Jesus even shows up at parties!" I then tossed out the question to everyone at Bible study: "If Jesus were here in the flesh, where would he be hanging out?" Answers: probably at the bar, at the bus station, talking to the homeless people, he'd be in the hospital. May we be where Jesus would be! www.ceokids.org

ups and downs of life

I just enjoyed a wonderful week away in Croatia, mostly spent enjoying the seacoast. Some of the time was spent with friends; part of it was spent completely alone. I left exhausted; I returned to Hungary quite refreshed. I am back in the thick of things here, and one of those "things" is the death of my neighbor's mom, which happened last night. I remember giving her a hug goodbye before I drove off to Croatia. I remember thinking, "I hope she is still here when I get back." She has been quite ill recently. I learned today that she left this world yesterday. I am grieving as both she and her daughter lived in the apartment next to mine, and I will miss her smile and the way she dearly cared for my cats. As I got in the car tonight and checked my phone messages, I got a message from a dear friend here whose baby girl was born this afternoon!!! Luca is her name, and while she is 3 weeks early, she is healthy and fine! We prayed for a 4 hour delivery and she came in 2 1/2! The ups and downs of life; they just keep on coming, don't they? www.ceokids.org

how simple.

Last week, I got to talk to a little boy at the children's home. Well, you might not call age 12 little, but he is the youngest boy in the home now. Robi has big, brown eyes, crying out for love and attention, but at the same time, running for his life, afraid to let anyone too close, cuz he might get hurt again. He's quite an artist, drawing trains and trolleys with exact specifications, and has dreams of possibly driving a train or a trolley. As we talked, the conversation turned to faith, and I asked him straight up: "Robi, do you know what Jesus wants?" He looked at me with his wide brown eyes and said, "What?" "He wants to have a personal relationship with every person on the earth, including you. He wants to come into your heart and live there forever, and then you will never be alone again." Robi's eyes just stared at me, and then they turned downward as he said, "When I go to bed at night, the demons are all around me." I told him that if he calls on Jesus, the demons have to leave. As I drove home that afternoon, I thought about how complicated we can make the Gospel sometimes, when in reality, what the Bible says is that being a believer is all about having a relationship with Jesus Himself. I pray Robi comes into that relationship so he too can go to bed knowing there is One who will never leave nor forsake him, ever! www.ceokids.org

Making a difference

One of my "sons" from the children's home here was accepted to the teacher's training college here in town and is studying English and Computer studies. His acceptance is a miracle in itself. He failed the 10th grade, was in deep depression, and with lots of love and encouragement, has now emerged to the point of being excited about waking up in the morning to go to school! Today, he came over early this morning to have me look over a speech he must give on the Tudors in his English History class. As I started reading his speech, I got a bit discouraged because it seemed to be copied directly from the sources. I decided to "test" him....I started asking him the meanings of the most difficult words in the text. Repeatedly, he was able to explain to me, in English no less, the meanings of these words. After a short time it dawned on me that this kid has done a TON of work, looking up and learning all these words!!! He was so proud, and rightly so. It's hard to believe this is the same kid who a couple of years ago had no goals, no interests in life, and now, refuses to speak Hungarian with me because he wants to practice his English all the time! God is very, very good....He is working mightily, and it is fun to be making a difference in a young man's life! www.ceokids.org

A week to remember

You ever had one of those weeks that you definitely want to remember because God did so much in you that you feel like a changed person? That was this past week.......FULL, full, full, and so incredibly blessed with meetings with people, conversations totally directed by the Holy Spirit, and things falling into place like never before. Yet, it wasn't "easy" so to say. I learned a big lesson in obedience, and even bigger lessons about grace, mercy and love. www.ceokids.org

In the River

I attended a very good conference on Saturday in Budapest. The main speaker's theme revolved around the picture of a river, flowing mightily. This river is the river of the living God; God is moving and His children have 3 choices: oppose the river, sit on the bank of the river, or get IN the river and go with the Lord. We don't necessarily know where the river is going to take us, but we know Who is directing the river. Both the "opposers" and the "sitters" are on the throne of their lives; only the ones willing to jump in the river and trust God to take them to His perfect place will truly experience the joy and adventure of living in the Lord! www.ceokids.org

Birthday Celebration

One of my "sons" from the children's home turned 21 yesterday! Last week, I decided to invite him out for dinner to help him celebrate his birthday. I'd already decided what I wanted to give him as a gift: two Christian worship cassettes and a Hungarian/English, English/Hungarian dictionary. So, I went to pick him up and asked him where he wanted to go. He'd asked one of the social workers at the home where we should go. We ended up at one of my favorite fish restaurants, and when we sat down, I gave him his gift. He opened it and a huge smile ran across his face; he gave me the traditional Hungarian kisses on the cheeks as a "thank you", but what he said next completely floored me. "I cannot remember the last time anyone did anything for me for my birthday. I've not had a birthday celebration like this ever in my life, and it's been 7 years since I've had any sort of birthday celebration. I've never gotten a gift!" I was speechless and immediately thought back on all the wonderful celebrations I've had throughout my life, the times when friends and family went all out to make my birthday special, and here this young man is, having his first "real celebration" and receiving his first "real gift" at age 21. Every day here brings a deeper perspective on what is really important in life. www.ceokids.org

Talk about orphans!!!

One of my favorite "kids" from the children's home is pregnant. She has a steady boyfriend and they are engaged. She's due in early December. I found out about the pregnancy two weeks ago...a part of me felt "hurt" that she didn't tell me, but then I learned that her own siblings learned about her pregnancy just 2 weeks before I did, and her brother only learned about it this past weekend! I'm learning some pretty interesting lessons this month about being an orphan. Don't trust....you may be let down; don't share your good news....others may pour cold water on it; stay closed and protected....this way, you cannot be rejected. From my standpoint, I'm learning first-hand to move forward in acceptance, warmth, and encouragment, all smothered in love!!

Teaching stories

Every teacher should probably write a book about the teaching experiences he or she has throughout his or her career. I always wanted to compile the funny sentences my students wrote in their essays or on tests, but have been too lazy to do so. And then there are the moments that one would rather not have, like I experienced this week. I was teaching my 9th grade bilingual students different body parts and injuries or pains that can happen. We got to "black eye", and I asked if anyone had ever experienced having a black eye? One girl, who started the year as a bright eyed, friendly, enthusiastic attentive young lady 3 weeks ago, piped up and said, "Yes! I've had a black eye?" Wrong teacher move #1: "So, how did you get the black eye?" Student: "My dad punched me." It's that awkward silence that falls over the room as no one, including me, knows quite how to respond appropriately to such a comment, that is so unnerving. I finally squeaked out a "Really?" "Yea, he really did!" "That must have been terrible!" I responded, employing my best teaching psychology tactics. "So, let's move on to the expression "swollen lip"; the attempt to distract everyone from the uncomfortable reality that this girl has just willingly uncovered before her new classmates. It's moments like these in the classroom that remind me that that I am not teaching a subject, I'm teaching students, I'm teaching people, and probably the most important thing I can do for them is to love them, because that may be the only thing they remember 10 years from now from their time spent in my class. www.ceokids.org

Refiner's Fire

They walked in discouraged. Hopefully, they left encouraged. I truly had nothing to give. But when the Holy Spirit falls, it's not us who are giving, but the Lord Himself. A full four months after an amazing conference here in Szeged, we are finding ourselves in the King's refiner's fire. Wisdom is needed to discern which are attacks from the enemy, and which are simply refining measures the Lord is taking in each person's life. A very wise friend recently shared with me that it is necessary for us to have 4 people in our lives: one "above" us to whom we can look for wisdom and guidance, for discipleship; one "below" us into whom we are pouring our lives (like a Paul to a Timothy); and two "next to us, one on each side" to walk alongside us in encouragement and accountability and deep friendship. If any one of these is missing, then the "cross" balance is thrown askew. I'm seeing in these people who've been so set free that most of them have really imbalanced "crosses"......there's little or no discipleship going on, in either direction, and relationships with those "next to them" only go so deep; no wonder they feel like they are flailing. Not only does God have people in His refiner's fire, burning off the dross, but people don't even have the basics about how to disciple or be discipled. It's an interesting place to be; Lord send your workers into the harvest fields, for they are white!

Making a CD

Probably only the musicians out there, a group I do NOT claim to be a part of, know and understand just how much work goes into those wonderful CDs we all pop into our discmans, car CD players and home stereo systems! My friend and sister in Christ, Zsuzsa, and I are working on a dual-language CD: 8 songs in English and 8 in Hungarian. Each of us wrote our songs (or rather received them from the Lord!) and now we are spending hours and hours in the studio working on a 16-song CD we pray glorifies Jesus and draws MANY into a relationship with the King of Kings. Today, after 2 1/2 hours of painstaking work, we finished 2 songs.....we have 6 completely finished.....so, you can calculate just how many MORE hours we will need to spend in the studio finishing the other 10. But what joy, to hear God's word sung, His Truth declared! We pray we will persevere to the end, as it is easy to "settle" for what sounds "good" instead of striving to make it the "best" for His glory! www.ceokids.org

This is what life is about

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As I drove to the children's home today, I prayed, "Lord, guide and direct my steps, and have your way in every conversation." Well, I spent 2 hours talking with "my son" about God.....having a relationship with Jesus, and how much God loves him!!! This is the first such conversation with him in 5 years, at least at this level. What a GREAT day!

Live TV

You know, at one point in my life, way back in high school, I thought I wanted to go into radio, television and film. In fact, during that infamous time in every 17 year old American's life, I was searching frantically for colleges and universities which had RTVF programs. Well, tonight convinced me that I made the right decision NOT to pursue that field. Yesterday, my boss at school asked me if I would do an interview for the local TV station as a foreigner who is here and is learning Hungarian. I thought, sure, I'll speak English and say a few words in Hungarian, they will edit the tape so it's very professional, and it will be great. Well, tonight when I arrive, I ask quite innocently, "So, is this going to be taped?" The person in charge said, "Uh, no, this is live TV!" I asked, "And do I speak English or Hungarian?" "Well, Hungarian of course!!!" My once beautiful, dry, blue blouse began to show serious signs of sweat stains under each arm almost immediately. And of course I had to sit there for over 1/2 an hour waiting for "our" turn......I was going on with a Hungarian woman who now lives in America! I sat there waiting for the camera to turn on, and white-knuckled the chair, and, of course, prayed that God would give me the gift of speaking in Hungarian! I can't even remember what I said, except for one sentence at the end when asked a favorite Hungarian word: Tele van a hocipom.......I'm fed up!!! It's a very funny expression in Hungarian, and made everyone in the studio burst into laughter, so if nothing else, I made people laugh. I walked out of there, reassured that being an English major and going into teaching was a MUCH better choice than live TV..........but, many would say, "You have to be "live" every day in front of your students." Yes, but somehow that is much easier........yet another picture of God's goodness in His callings on people's lives!

Back in the saddle

I nearly shuddered when I realized I'm starting my 17th year of teaching!! I can still vividly remember my first year, teaching 8th grade middle school language arts in Orange, VA to kids ages 13-16. Now, I teach grades 9-12, and this year, I have 14 different groups of students during the course of a week. Some of these students I will meet only 32 times the entire year. I'm really excited to be a part of these kids' lives, and for them to be a part of mine. I believe this year, for the first time since having arrived in 2000, I have a new understanding of what my students are "going through" in my class. My experiences learning Hungarian this summer in a high level course have made me much more compassionate and caring toward those who may not "get it" the first time. May the Lord increase my patience and love for all of my students!

Swim lessons........again..........

It's Thursday night, and I find myself at the swimming pool under the stars now, as the light wanes early....at least before 8:00 when swimming starts. I doned my cap and goggles, and after 100 meters, my goggles were completely foggy. So, I yanked them down around my neck and proceeded to swim goggle-less...not too big a deal when swimming backstroke, but it dawned on me just how much more clearly I could see without my goggles!!! The Lord reminded me of the verse in Corinthians: Now we see through a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face. It was so much easier to see everything without the foggy goggles on...I swam straighter, I swam harder and enjoyed myself a whole lot more. Hmmmm, there's something to be said about having clear vision.......

Another cultural lesson

I dragged myself out of bed this morning to go swimming. At this point, after having lived here a full 5 years, you would think that nothing in the culture would "disturb" me anymore....well, I am having to relearn yet another cultural lesson which I've encountered many times, but this morning, it was very pronounced. In the locker room, there are about 12 different benches on which people can set their bags and change clothes, etc. After swimming, I fetched my bag from the small room where the "neni" (slang for woman, sort of) keeps an eye on everyone's belongings. I made my way to the bigger changing room and laid claim to the first bench, which was empty. I went in to take my shower, and when I came back and was drying off, a woman came in and proceeded to put her bag down on the bench right next to my stuff. Ok, fine, the bench is plenty big enough for two people; however, I looked up, and there were about 5 benches, completely free and unused by anyone. I shrugged it off, thinking, "well, she didn't want to walk any further than the first bench." So, she finishes changing to go swim, takes her bag to the "neni's" room, and I continue to get dressed. A moment later, another woman walks in....and where does she set her bag? You got it, on my bench.....by this time, there are 7 free benches in the room...."Why does this woman have to crowd my space? Why can't she find her own bench and BOTH of us will have plenty of room?" I kept these thoughts to myself. I went to blow dry my hair and when I returned to "my bench", that woman had left and ANOTHER woman had come in and, yep, she'd dropped her stuff on my bench!!! I looked across the room and counted: 8 FREE BENCHES!!!! It was at that moment that the cultural differences came crashing through....we Americans love and value our space. If this was a locker room in America, the first woman would have come in and at the very least would have put her bag on the second bench, near me, but not ON my bench. Most probably, she would have gone even further away, to give us each some space. Some Americans would even go to the furthest bench away. So here is my conclusion about Hungarians....under communism and socialism, they were taught to "fall in line". You don't "find your own personal space"; instead you go to the first space next to the person who is already there and "set up camp". I realized I'm still very American.......I wanted to be able to spread out....to have my own bench......anyway, there are plenty of other benches, and these other women could have plenty of space too. Rule 2 hit home once again: "It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different."

Being blessed by saying "No"

Some folks from Zion Church organized a "sports day" in the park across the river yesterday afternoon. Those of you who know me well are thinking, "this is right up Arden's alley....of COURSE she will be there in the middle of it all!!!" Indeed, I went, but once I got there, and realized a dear friend of mine was not there....her kids and husband were there....my zest for sports waned, and I decided to spend the time in what I would consider a "more productive" way....for me at least. I said my hellos and goodbyes to those about to embark on hours of sport competition, and made my way back to my friend's flat, where we enjoyed the afternoon on her balcony getting caught up on our summers. What a treasure that time was for me, and I think for her as well. I'm sure the sports day was great, building relationships with folks, but God has me in a place of nurturing relationships rather than starting and building. And in nurturing, it means at times saying "no" to what I might naturally like to do....play sports....and "yes" to more intimate time one-on-one with a friend. I truly didn't miss playing sports yesterday....what a good God we have to bless us when we say "no". www.ceokids.org

Calm in the midst of chaos

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I like visiting Budapest....not often, but every so often, it is fun to go to "the big city" and take in the hustle and bustle of the capital, especially since I know I can always hop the train out of there! Yesterday, I met a friend for coffee, and then, while waiting for my train back to Szeged, I decided that instead of hanging out in the Mc
Donald's at the train station, I would go to Margit Island....a gorgeous, idyllic place situated in the middle of the Danube river, overrun with people, but somehow, more peaceful than the bustling streets of Pest. I found myself a quiet place right next to the river, overlooking the Pest side of the city and near enough to hear the lapping of the water on the shoreline. I got comfy, pulled out my book, read for about 10 minutes and promptly fell asleep with the soft drones of cars, trams and busses in the background and more importantly, the quiet lapping of the water below me. I had set my alarm, knowing I didn't want to "worry" about making my train, and so rested fitfully for about 40 minutes while joggers went by just behind me on the path, boats and barges made their way up and down the river in front of me, and the breeze blew through the trees above me. A perfect picture of what our lives can be like in the midst of the chaotic world we sometimes find ourselves in.....calmly resting in the Father's arms, allowing Him to pour His lapping love over us as we rest with the chaos passing us by. I missed nothing, and gained everything in those minutes by the river. www.ceokids.org

Learning how to listen

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I'm getting back in the teaching saddle next week. We had our first teacher's staff meeting yesterday, and I understood 90%. Guess that's a pretty cool testimony to God's faithfulness in helping me with this language. As I approach a new year with lots and lots of "activities" already on the agenda, and a new person trying to pull me into his/her world and agenda, I'm realizing the tremendous need I will have this year in learning how to say a very simple word: "No". I'm excited to have 14 groups of students.......most teachers would freak out at that number as it means over 200 students again. I have 5 classes of seniors, 4 juniors 3 sophomores, and 2 freshman groups. Most classes are "one-shot deals"......I have one chance per week to love on kids who desperately need to see the love of Jesus lived out before them. Lord, show me mercy and give me grace to love as You love, to see them as You see them, to hear the cries of these kids as You hear them, and to set before them one hope: Jesus Christ. To read more about loving kids through teaching, go to this link and enjoy!

Hungarian

I just got back from a 2-week intensive Hungarian language course. You would think that I would have lots of confidence; however, I'm now terrified to open my mouth. "I should know how to say this correctly grammatically....but I'm not sure, so I'll just speak English." NOT a good place to be...wondering "what others think." One thing I did conclude after the two weeks is that this is a very challenging language, and most of my Hungarian friends tell me that even THEY don't know the Hungarian grammar! God reminded me, however, that HE knows this language perfectly, and He will help me learn it!

Weekend fun!

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About 150 of us boarded 3 buses to 3 different small towns here in Hungary on Saturday to experience museums, castles, wine-tasting, and food. As I sat on one bus with so many different nationalities, I just had to smile that here we all are communicating in Hungarian with one another....Germans, Americans, Austrians, Hungarians, Italians, Spaniards, French, Israelis......and resisting the temptation to break into our mother tongues with each other. I once heard a good joke: What language will we speak in Heaven? Answer: Hungarian, because it will take an eternity to learn it!
I'm definitely feeling that way starting this second week of intensive language classes; the vocabulary list grows, the grammar gets increasingly challenging, and when I open my mouth, I feel like I cannot speak a single sentence in Hungarian well or grammatically correct. But at the weekend, we had such fun trying to talk with each other, and correcting each others' Hungarian, showing lots of grace to one another. If nothing else from these two weeks, I've learned how some of my students feel, and I know it will affect my teaching when I go back to Szeged and start the new school year. Patience needs to be my middle name!

Word of the day!

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I wish I could say that I am learning really cool words every day....well, I am, but not off-the-wall strange ones. However, I have learned a very useful one.....BOLHA.......which means "FLEA".....yes, those things you find on your dog or cat, which make them itch like crazy. This particular word brought back memories from 12 years ago, when I first moved back to the U.S. after having spent 2 years in Hungary. I arrived at the house which two friends of mine and I had bought together 4 years earlier. One of my friends had a dog....when she left, she took the dog, but left the "bolhak".........and THEY were looking for fresh meat.....ME!!! I remember being sooooooooo tired, it being late, and I had to lug ALL my luggage back out of the house and to a friend's house for another couple of days while we de-fleaed the house. There is a great spiritual lesson in this for me and maybe for some of you as well. If we leave the bolhak in our lives to fester (sinful patterns and giving in to the flesh time and time again) and reproduce, we are going to have nothing but trouble, and we will be destructive to others as well. Allow the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to come in and clean house so that we are a blessing and the sweet aroma of Christ to those who come in.

A new day!!!

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Yesterday, I was frustrated....I was in a Hungarian language group that was WAY above my head. It's a new day!!! Now I'm in the right group; it's large, 12 of us, but this is my level. I'm being stretched, but I also know a lot.....I'm right where I should be. There are things I don't know, but some of the others in the group do know them; and visa versa. We're all in the same boat together, helping and encouraging one another. THIS is a great picture of what the church is like, when it works well. God is stretching us, and we are in it together, encouraging and helping each other to draw closer to our Lord Jesus. God never gives us more than we can handle, but always wants us to grow more and more in His grace and mercy, so that we can pour out HIS love.

Language learning

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I have a headache. After 3 hours of intensive Hungarian language learning, I had a headache. Plus 2 more hours and I still have a headache. It could be the weather, since we are experiencing the COLDEST weather, I believe, in Hungarian August history. Rain and about 50 degrees. Learning is great, and my favorite word for today is the following: szoknyavadász: skirtchaser!!!

Feeling like a criminal

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This morning, MJ and I hurried to the place where we thought a local church was meeting. When we arrived, there was no one there, as they were probably participating in a city wide event downtown. So, we decided to visit the DM, a drugstore, to pick up a few items we needed. We were the only two customers in the store, and as soon as we grabbed out shopping baskets, I noticed the in-store security guard began to pay very close attention to us. We turned down one aisle, and there he was at the other end of it, checking out every move we were making. We went to the next one, and again, there he was, eyeing our every step. I realized today that MJ and I must really look like shoplifters, or else the security guy was REALLY bored. My "introduction" to shopping in Debrecen. Following that adventure, we visited the fruit-veggie stand. As we were walking home, we found another stand, which had good looking bananas, so we stopped. The man at that stand was visibly upset that we had shopped at the stand around the corner and began to boast that his prices were much lower. He even took 29 forints off the price of the bunch of bananas to prove his point. I assured him we would come back to his stand next time...he said, "The only thing sure in life is death!" I "corrected" him and said, "And God!" He promptly responded with, "Which one?" I said, "The only True God!" So, here I embark on a new road of ministry: fruit-veggie man evangelism.

making a CD

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If any of you have every worked on making a music CD, you know the challenges. Getting everything "just right" takes TIME, concentration, energy, patience, and skill. A dear friend of mine and I are working on a CD together which will include songs sung in both English and Hungarian. The goal is that people will be encouraged in their walks with Jesus and will draw closer to Him as a result of listening. May we glorify God alone!

Healing wounds

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Everyone needs a faithful friend.....but what does that look like? In the book of Proverbs it states, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted....As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27: 5-6a, 17) It takes a true friend to dare to rebuke and correct another, but I know that these are the kinds of true friends that I want in my life. I recently received a strong rebuke from a friend, which drove me to the only place a true rebuke should: to Jesus! And as Jesus dealt with my wounded heart, and poured out His abundant love and Truth, true healing began. Are we willing to let those closest to us sharpen us, or do we take offense, bury the hurt, build the walls, and move on? If we choose the latter route, we lose; we are trying to save our lives, when Jesus clearly admonishes us to lose our lives for His sake. When we choose the former route, those wounds are healed by the Great Healer, lovingly filled with His undying love, and we are drawn closer, not only to our precious Savior, Jesus Christ, but to the friend, who loved us enough to speak the truth in love. "Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God should'st die for me?"

Precious times of worship

While walking along Hadrian's Wall in northern England, I was blessed to be with two friends! We had a blast laughing and sharing the experience of walking in a historical place. Yet, we had many times of walking in silence, and it was during those periods that I asked the Lord to drop a song into my heart so I could worship Him. What joy I found as I would be walking along and suddenly, I'd find myself humming or even singing aloud, quietly, the song the Lord had given me. It is these sweet times that the Father shows me, once again, just how intimately He loves me!

Wait! This is not what I expected!

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I tried to visit a church this morning, one which I've visited a number of times before. I was a few minutes late, and did not hear the usual praise and worship songs belting from the street-side windows. I went inside, and noticed in the room where there are usually tables set up with books and tapes, were mattresses and sleeping bags. I went into the room where the church normally meets, and a group of unfamiliar faces was sitting on the floor in a circle, still in PJs, being very silent and journaling, I think. I looked in, walked out, poked my head back in to make sure I didn't know anyone, and then turned to leave, a bit confused. That is definitely not what I expected!!! As I walked home in the sweltering heat, I asked the Lord, "So, what do we do now?" The church has obviously changed locations, at least for this week, and my morning plans had changed as well. However, the Lord brought to my heart two Truths: first, God does the unexpected, and it is always GOOD! Second, He reminded me of the Truth that He is the same, yesterday, today and forever! He is unchanging, and I can worship Him whether I'm in a church building or in my living room at home because HE is the same everywhere!!! Circumstances in our lives change; people come and go; even the weather, sweltering hot today, in 6 months will be freezing cold; but GOD NEVER CHANGES!!! Who He is, the great I AM, is the Rock upon which we can stand. And the things that Jesus did in His days on this earth are the same things He said we would do after He ascended into Heaven and poured out His Holy Spirit into our hearts. The unchanging God is in the business of changing us, sometimes unexpectedly, if we let Him, so that we are more like His Son Jesus. I am thanking God that there was no church meeting there this morning, because during my walk back home, the Lord chose to give me the "sermon" He wanted me to hear from Himself!

Church should be more like a pub!

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Oh boy, I'm sure I'll hear some responses to this one!!! Why do I think church should be more like a pub? I'll explain. I live in the heart of downtown Szeged, Hungary. As I walk out the door of my building and turn left, within 20 steps, there is a pub on my left, which I've been in only once (to look for a stray bus driver who had parked in front of our door's driveway). However, every time I go by the pub, I glance to my left to check it out. It's usually open every day, even Sundays, from early in the morning til late at night. Since I walk past this pub nearly every day, I've been thinking a lot about the significance of it, and I've been watching people come and go; so here are my observations as to why I think church should be more like a pub. First, it's open a lot! Second, the proprietor welcomes everyone! Third, everyone who goes there feels welcome! Fourth, everyone greets each other and says goodbye when they leave! Fifth, people are having "felt needs" met (by no means am I advocating alcohol consumption, but rather stating that they are looking for something, and believe they are finding it there!) Sixth, they are being "filled up". Seventh, they are finding accepting, non-judgemental fellowship and friendship. Eighth, people want to go there. Ninth, both families and singles are welcome...I even see little kids in there sometimes. Tenth, there is laughter and "good" music. Ok, ok, I know this is a stretch, but if we were to "spiritualize" all ten of the above reasons, it would be easy to see, I think, why church should be more like a pub! First, church should be open a lot. Second, people working there should welcome everyone! Third, everyone who comes in should feel welcome. Fourth, everyone should make an effort to greet those who come in and say goodbye to those who are leaving. Fifth, "felt needs" should be met....first by the Lord, but also practically speaking. Sixth, people should be "filled up" with the Gospel. Seventh, people should receive non-judgemental acceptance and love and friendship from everyone. Eighth, people should want to go to church! Ninth, ALL should be welcomed, from the old to the young, married to singles. Tenth, there should be laughter and joy in the Lord, and worship music!!!! Of course I await your comments on my Pub theology.

More swimming theology

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I really do love swimming, now; didn't like it much before, but I feel so good afterwards, that I'm growing to love it. Last night as I was doing my typical 1000 meters under the stars of Szeged, I believe the Lord impressed on my heart yet more truth. The pool where I swim is used for waterpolo matches in addition to normal lap swimming. My doctor told me I'm only allowed to swim backstroke, so as I make my way across the pool on my back, I must of course be mindful of where the end of the pool is. There are nets which are pulled across wires for the waterpolo matches, and during lap swimming the nets are pulled to the side, but the wires remain. I've figured out that when I see the wire above me, near the end of the pool, I have exactly 10 backstrokes to swim before I need to turn and touch the wall. During the daytime, these wires are easy to see, thus concentration is at a minimum because it's all "in the light" and I can easily see the wire and begin my count to 10 so that I don't slam into the wall. However, I usually swim in the evening, which turns to night; and even though there are lights over the pool, in the darkness, the wires are increasingly difficult to see. As the natural light fades, I find I must concentrate all the more "in the darkness" to see the wire above. If I miss seeing it, I grow very leery of what awaits....a slammed hand against the wall, which is not fun. Add to the mix foggy goggles, and I have a challenging situation on my hands. Last night as I swam, I began to consider what a beautiful picture this little slice of swimming pool is of life with the Lord. We are allowed to swim along freely, but we must concentrate, not on life, but on the wire, on the Lord, for HE is the focus of our lives. When we have Him as the focal point, He can keep us on the path He has set out for us, and keep us from slamming into the wall, needlessly. Sometimes, in the darkness, we have to concentrate all the more on Him and His truth; when we do, and we SEE HIM, we can boldly swim those last 10 strokes to the finish line of whatever He's called us to at that moment.

Long time no hear from!!!

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Well, for those of you who have faithfully been checking in with my blog, my humble apologies for having neglected it for 3 months now!!! Just after my last entry, ministry here in Hungary began taking off, and I was swamped, day and night!!! How to summarize? Well, the beginning of May saw a conference here in Szeged: The Father's Heart: Home for the Orphan. A dear friend of mine from Israel, Joan, led a team who came from Atlanta in ministry to MANY people from Szeged and the surrounding cities. People heard about God's great and amazing love for them and FREEDOM in Jesus!!! My life, through it all, was RADICALLY changed, and I love Jesus more than I ever thought possible!!! In mid June, another conference was held, a worship conference, which was an amazing follow-up to the May conference!!! Plus, a wonderful team from Virginia came to teach English and minister to young adults from a local children's home. In early July, Joan returned for follow-up ministry which was TOTALLY blessed. Then I and 3 friends headed to England to hike Hadrian's Wall along the border between England and Scotland! A welcome break from the heat of Hungary!!! I will give some more personal blog reflections in the next few days, but this will have to suffice for now....the broad strokes before filling in the details.

Learning curves

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I'm not an organizer. I don't like organizing. I am a big picture person and I share those pictures and visions and somehow end up being the organizer for things. Conferences, events, etc. BUT, God is stretching me....He's asking me to step out in faith and I'm learning so much that in my weakness HE is strong. I'm also learning humility and trust. We are having a big conference here in Szeged from May 4-7. The main speaker, a messianic Jew named Joan Lipis, is coming to teach and a team from a church in Atlanta is coming to help in this ministry. The ONE message that has come through all the planning and organizing and communicating amongst this team is this: "IT'S NOT ABOUT US, IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS AND LIFTING UP AND GLORIFYING HIM!" Please pray with us for this conference, for UNITY amongst the team members, for a consistent message of the love of the Father to come through, and for lives to be changed as people enter into relationship with Jesus Christ.

A day of blessings!

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Today, I got to talk with some very important people in this community......11 different pastors from various churches in the city who meet monthly to talk and pray together!!! I was invited to talk about this conference coming up in May here, "The Father's Heart". Amazingly, they all seemed open, and even more of a blessing is that they are interested in meeting with one of the pastors who is coming to help in this ministry! Another blessing came this evening at church where we have started and outreach to punk and rocker young people. Two of them showed up tonight, both from the children's home, one of whom is a believer, and the other is very interested in knowing more about God! These are dear, dear young men whom I've known for 5 years now! God is working here in Szeged, so please keep on praying!

My first singing experience in a Hungarian Wedding

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A week ago, I got a call from some friends on the worship team here in Szeged. "Arden, there is a couple getting married on Saturday at one of the Catholic Churches here in town. The guy is British and the girl is Hungarian. They want some songs sung in both English and in Hungarian. Can you help us out by coming and singing with us?" And so, we sang, in the freezing cold temps of this church, and while it seemed so RANDOM to me to be singing in the wedding of people I didn't even know, it was a great worship experience for me! The only one I had to please was Jesus, and I pray He was!

A "where are we?" experience

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Late Thursday night of this past week, I received a phone call from some friends asking if I could help them sing in a wedding on Saturday. "The guy getting married is British and the girl is Hungarian, and they want some of the songs sung in English. Can you help?" And so began my first church wedding experience in Hungary. The Szeged ecumenical praise team was invited to sing, and I joined them in a FREEZING cold Catholic Church. After the wedding, there was a reception line, which we went through, and congratulated the bride and groom....."Hi, I just sang in your wedding and I don't even know you!!" No, I didn't say this, but it was quite an odd experience for me to greet this random couple for whom we'd just sung during a very holy union. Gotta love serving cross-culturally!

Loss of a friend

As I type this, friends in Charlottesville are waking up to a new day, but one during which there will be much grieving. Hundreds of people have lost a dear, dear friend, who went home to be with the Lord on Tuesday at the "young" age of 47. I've written about grieving here in Hungary before, but this time it is a bit different. I'm not quite sure why, but I believe that the Lord is giving me more and more of His grace to "grieve from a distance," not an easy thing to do, but something that is stretching me tremendously. Today, I'm longing for the community of believers who will gather to celebrate this friend's life; I'm longing to cry with them, to laugh with them, just to "feel a part of things." It's challenging to have "closure" from a distance, and yet in the midst of all these "human" challenges, I'm meeting the Lord in ways I never thought possible. I was literally walking down the street yesterday afternoon after having wept bitterly most of the morning, and my heart was so light and full of peace and joy. I asked the Lord about it, feeling a bit "guilty" for having this peace and joy amidst the pain of losing a dear friend, and I believe that the Lord reminded me that Ellen is now rejoicing and is at peace, and is seeing her Savior and Lord face to face. THIS gives us every reason to know and sense God's peace and joy. Our human loss is immense; but when we heed the Psalmist's admonition to "Be still and know that I am God," (Psalm 46:10), we can rest in His loving grace, which carries us through the grief and into His presence in new ways. I've "lost" a friend on this earth, but through it all, I'm gaining a new intimacy with Jesus....this is what Ellen would want anyway! Glory to God this Easter season which she is celebrating with the Lord Himself!

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Learning......

ceo for the kidsI feel like I'm in a very steep learning curve right now. Lots of things are happening in and around me. A dear friend and fellow missionary senses a calling from Hungary to South Africa; my friend and mentor leaving. I'm trying to learn what it means to LISTEN to the Lord, REALLY listen and discern His voice over all the competing voices around me. I was home ill for a week with a nasty virus which completely wiped me out. During that time, I prayed for a funeral service. A family in our church lost a father and grandfather. As I prayed, one word kept coming to mind: PEACE. So I prayed for peace in everyone's hearts, that the peace of Christ would reign over the service, that the Holy Spirit would grant everyone a tremendous sense of peace; that the service would be a time of peaceful worship of the Lord. At a funeral? Yesterday, I got a call from the daughter of this man, a dear friend of mine who said, "Hi Arden! Just imagine we experienced such PEACE throughout the entire service. Everyone! Even those who are not Christians said they simply couldn't understand the peace they sensed. And then we started to worship, and it was the most beautiful worshipful time ever at a funeral. I expected it to be horrible; funerals are horrible, but it was so covered in peace!!!" Mind you, I had said NOTHING to this woman, and as I sat listening to her, my heart was rejoicing in Jesus that HE would give such a gift to them, and now to me, to celebrate what HE wanted to give them and give me through this man's passing. I shared with her what the Lord had put on my heart to pray on that day, and she nearly jumped for joy at the confirmation that indeed, the Lord is so very, very good!!! I've jumped in the river and I'm being carried along by the Word and the Spirit into realms never dreamed of, and oh boy, is it exciting! Amen!!!!

Birthdays in bed....ill that is....

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You know, for 4 out of the past 5 years here in Hungary I have been flat on my back in bed, ILL, on my birthday!!! Go figure. Maybe my body fights all of January and February against all the nasty viruses going around and then just as the beginning of March hits, my immune system just isn't up to snuff to fight anymore. But on my birthday? I learned a long time ago not to ask the question "why", but rather ask, "so what can I learn through this?" Well......I don't have an answer.....except that it was fun celebrating my birthday last year and NOT being sick. Slowing down is always a good thing, and now I'm forced to slow down. May it be a time of reflection, prayer, and worship that I wouldn't otherwise have if I was going full-steam ahead!

"I want to die!"

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I tutor a young lady, 16 years old, at school who, over 2 years ago suffered a stroke and has diabetes. She insists on coming to school, is very intelligent, but sometimes lazy like every typical teenager. She has a visible limp and shakes as a result of her health issues, so she is "different". Here in Hungary, for years, the disabled were "put away", and now that they are more evident in public life, not everybody knows how to handle them. Yesterday, armed with my wonderful lesson to teach her, I walked with her into the library, where we sat down and she began to weep. After about 2 minutes of not being able to say anything, she looked at me and said, "I want to die!" Of course I'd been praying, but now I was REALLY praying, "Lord, give me YOUR words to say to this young girl." She proceeded to tell me how she has no friends and no one likes her and she is ugly and ill and she just wants to die. I listened and prayed, and then gently talked with her. I shared my struggles with her when I was 16; I told her that many, many others also feel like they have no friends and are "ugly" and are "ill"; but their illnesses are on the inside. I also shared with her the ONE friend who will never leave her no matter what: Jesus. Right now, she doesn't believe God loves her; I can understand her feelings. I pray the love letter that God has written to us will touch her heart deeply, in addition to the Holy Spirit drawing her to Himself, that she would find deep, inner healing, and even outer healing, and find the FRIEND who will never leave her or forsake her. At the end of our conversation, she looked at me with a smile, and said, "I'm not sad anymore, thank you." For me, life IS worth living if just for a moment like this.

just imagine.....

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Just imagine, during my weekly visit to the children's home yesterday I had 3 boys waiting eagerly to learn English. Was it just luck that I had grabbed 4 English language books before leaving home, wondering if these might be useful? When I pulled the books from my bag, the boys' eyes lit up with joy and they asked, "Are these ours to keep?" I told them, "Of course, but you need to come to class." AND, just imagine that at the end of the lesson, we got to talking about church, and one of the boys, Laci, who has been coming to church, was talking excitedly with the others, and one or both of them may come visit on Sunday!!! I love just living and watching the Lord do what HE wants to do.

Stuck behind an "old" person

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I was doing my weekly run to the market near my house this morning when I got "stuck behind" an old man who was moving very slowly. Because of the large number of people making their way to and from the market, I couldn't do the "quick pass" that I normally do when confronted with such a "road-block". So, I ambled slowly behind this old man, trying not to be the stereotypical American who is always in a hurry, and just enjoy the situation. However, when a break in the crowd presented itself, I dashed, passing him on the left and picking up my pace again, heading for the vendors. While walking behind the old man, I got to thinking about our lives with the Lord.....how many of us are "stuck behind", unable to move forward? How many of us just become satisfied with the "status quo", the thought that "this is the way we always have done things" kind of mentality? How many of us get stuck when God wants to move us out into His "lane of traffic"; it's more daring, more exciting, takes more faith, but we are not stuck. We are moving, carried along by the Holy Spirit into what the Lord wants. May it be so.

"Can I come to church?"

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I went to a "Farsang" celebration at the children's home this past Monday. It's their version of "Mardi Gras", and some of the kids in the home were doing performances in front of a small audience. At the end, one of the young men in the home, Csaba, whom I really don't know very well, approached me and asked if he could talk to me. I said, "Sure," and we walked to the side of the room to talk. "Could I come to church on Sunday?" he asked. I stood there, taken aback, a bit surprised, but wonderfully elated. "Of course you can come!" I've probably talked to this boy 4 times total, for about a total of 5 minutes. As we chatted about the time, and where to meet before the service, the Lord began to impress upon my heart a lesson that I think I will be learning my whole life, slowly. HE is the one doing the work. HE is what life is all about. He is working in people's hearts, drawing them to Himself. We are called to be His children, to love Him, to obey what He's called us to be and do, and He will do what HE wants to do. We receive the blessings in "little" situations like this one.

Squeaks and spirituality

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As I was coming home from meeting some friends yesterday, I could hear that one of my Z-coil heels was squeaking badly. These are very cool, comfortable, healthy shoes that have springs for heels. I had just gotten a pair of the hiking boots for Christmas from my parents and had been wearing them almost daily through the winter here in Szeged. The squeaking was disturbing me enough to think that there was something seriously wrong and I should look into it. So, I took off my boots when I got home and unscrewed the heel to examine the problem. I tried compressing the spring with my fingers and as I did so, "POP!" a vital piece of the heel broke off!!! To my dismay, I realized that there was no way I could just "reach in" and retrieve the broken piece as this is an enclosed heel. Broken and useless. Now I cannot wear these heels (I can attach the open heeled springs and continue wearing the shoes). Broken. Needing to be repaired.
Like this heel, the Lord sometimes gives us a "squeaking" noise and wants us to heed what He is saying. But unlike this heel, He does not want us to take things into our own hands and try to fix it. Instead, He wants us to come to Him and let Him repair what is broken. When we try to fix things, they break, inevitably. When we give things to Him, He perfects them. There are many such accounts in the Bible of Jesus healing the "squeaks" in people's lives; paralytics being healed and not just healed but fully restored and in full strength! People being raised from the dead, not to a weakened state, but FULLY alive! I need to heed the "squeaks" and immediately run to Jesus and ask HIM to heal completely and perfectly.

Sad pictures

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I could hear him screaming, shouting at someone rather. I couldn't understand anything except "give me the wallet!" As I came closer, I could see them, two gypsies (a minority ethnic group here in Hungary), and the man was screaming loudly at the woman, whom I'd seen before. I began to pray as I approached them. At first, my prayers were selfish: "Lord, please protect me around them." Then the Holy Spirit convicted me immediately: "YOU are already protected! PRAY for THEM!" OUCH. So, I began praying for them, especially for her. As usual, she was completely strung out on something, drugs or alcohol or both. The man was obviously upset about something to do with money. She tried to flee, but he went after her....I prayed for her protection, that he would not hit her. As I got to my door, I looked back to see him holding her by her elbow and pulling her down the street. I felt so helpless and continued to pray for her protection, for them to somehow come to know Jesus, for them to be freed from the shackles that bind them. Many would say, "Well, this is life....there is nothing really we can do." Indeed, it is when there is no hope, when the enemy is allowed to gain a foothold, when Jesus is pushed to the wayside and the spirit of this age is allowed to run rampant. The Apostle Paul admonishes us to realize that our battle is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the powers and principalities of this present darkness. (Ephesians) I thank the Lord for the tangible, physical reminder, right before my eyes, of the need to pray, to do battle in the spiritual realm. There IS indeed something we can do and it is more powerful than any physical intervention: pray.

Simon and Spirituality

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I have two cats, Toby and Simon. They are American cats, but now are bilingual as my neighbor speaks only Hungarian. They also have two homes, mine and hers. Spoiled? Yes! Recently, or it seems yearly now, Simon came down with a urinary tract infection. After a round of antibiotics, I thought we had it licked. However, about 3 days ago, he started dashing to the litter box about every 2 minutes, trying to pee, but only squeaking out little droplets. Instead of returning the the anti-biotic-dispensing-vet, I opted to pump him with the build-your-immune-system-drops the vet gave me at the last meeting, and force feed him lots of water, remembering that the vet said he needs to stay hydrated. Well, it didn't take long for Simon to figure out that when mom is holding a syringe full of water in her hand, that means force feeding of water. So, he runs and hides under the bed. He has no idea that this is for his own good; that if he would just submit to the discipline of drinking water that his urinary problems would most likely resolve themselves, that if he would undergo a bit of discomfort now, that later, he would be much better off. How true of us in our walks with Jesus, isn't it? We sometimes run away from our loving Father when He comes at us with a syringe full of something we don't necessarily want, be it discipline, rebuke, or conviction. All of these are really good for us because after enduring them, we become healthier, stronger and life returns as we return to the giver of our lives. I thank God for both Simon and Toby and all the lessons they teach me about life with the Lord.

Typical Saturday

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My typical Saturday morning routine here in Szeged consists of getting up early with the cats, who want to be fed at 5:00...I usually go back to bed for a couple of more hours.....and then I head to the "PIAC", or market! It's like a farmer's market, which is open year-round, even in the cold winter months. This morning as I perused the yummy looking fresh fruits and veggies, I couldn't help but think about how cold it must be for those vendors, who don't have the luxury of "picking up a few items and heading home to a nice hot cup of tea!" I went inside this long building they have there where one can find lots of different little shops, from the meat vendor to the bakery. My first "sight" was a gypsy woman, about my age, carrying an empty beer bottle (mind you it was 9:00 in the morning) and looking a bit dazed. I walked past the people standing at the tall tables busily cutting up their sausages and dipping them in mustard and eating them up with a bite of bread followed by a slosh of coffee or beer and was a bit taken aback that these scenes no longer surprise me. This is life in this little part of Szeged Hungary. I proceeded to my "meat man" who sold me some beautiful boneless chicken breasts, while old "nenis" looked at me and ordered their chicken claws for their soups, feeling a bit guilty for being so "rich". Then I ordered my usual 20 dekagrams of turkey breast, sliced, and my favorite cheese, and made my way back out into the frigid temps to buy some bread from the bread truck. Making my way back home, I unloaded my treasures and set out again to the post office and then to the "normal" grocery store where I loaded up my rolling backpack and walked 4 blocks to the pet shop to get more kitty litter, loading that in my basket and making my way home through the brisk winter air and back into my nice warm apartment where I was warmly greeted by fuzzy cats, curious to see what I'd found on this Saturday at the markets! Shopping done by 10:30 or so, I'm able to sit down and enjoy my coffee and breakfast before embarking on the cleaning. You see, life isn't so different for me here than for you in other places around the world!

disobedience

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I thought it only happened to other teachers. I thought my kids would do what I asked them to do. Last week, I experienced outright disobedience in a school purported to be one of the best in the city. My senior bilingual students were required to give a 5 minute speech on a topic of their choice. One girl decided to give a speech on a topic she was not really able to speak about in a non-inflamatory way, so I suggested she find another topic. She did: Barbies. However, she pulled it straight from the internet. So, I assigned her a topic: the value that the local mall has for the city and the surrounding suburbs. Last week was D's chance to shine and wow us with her ideas and opinions. She began her speech by pulling out several Barbie dolls from her bag. I was, shall we say, not overly happy about her choice to disobey. I patiently listened to her "internet copied" speech and decided to think about what her consequences should be. A few days later, I spoke with D and asked her why she deliberately disobeyed my instructions. Her response floored me, but maybe it shouldn't have: "I couldn't find anything on the internet!!!" I told her that was the point; she should use her brain to come up with the speech on her own. She proceeded to break into tears and tell me "I can't think!" I probably should have been more compassionate; here is this poor girl age 17 who is crying in front of me; but I wasn't, and insisted that this week, she will submit the assigned speech or will receive the lowest grade possible. It struck me later that I'm really no different sometimes in my relationship with God; there are times when He is very, very clear about what He wants and I simply choose to disobey and "do my own thing." This was a good lesson for me, once again, of the significance of listening to His voice as He knows what is best for me.

Swimming and spirituality

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I try to swim at least twice or three times a week, largely as therapy after my second back surgery in 15 years! I love it, and just this week, the Lord impressed a lesson on my heart while I was doing my usual 1000 meters of back stroke in the local pool. I wear swim goggles and usually, at about 600 meters, they begin to get foggy, making it difficult to see the roof above me...the dome which covers this pool during the cold winter months. Well, on this particular evening, I got water in my goggles on the first leap into the pool.......therefore, after 200 meters, my goggles were sufficiently foggy. Personally, I like being able to see, so this "early fogging" was a bit disturbing to me. It dawned on me that I could, with my peripheral vision, see the dividing lane marker between the lanes, and thus, could stay on the straight path in my lane as I and about 7 other people did our evening circles up and back in the same lane. This lane marker became an essential part of that swim that night, and the Lord, in His great mercy, drove home a very good point with me: My Word is like this lane marker; if you stay focused on Me and My Word, you will "swim" straight, without slamming into other people, veering off course, or hitting the wall and injuring yourself. The meters passed quickly after that as I rejoiced at focusing on the lane marker, even if the things "in front of" me were foggy. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith."

my ways or God's?

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Each Thursday, I get to go out to a children's home near Szeged, where kids aged 14-24 live; some are parentless, and some are from situations where they would rather not live due to abuse and alcoholism or extreme poverty. My "goal" on these days is to hang out with some kids for about an hour and then teach English for an hour. Today, after waiting 1/2 an hour for any kids to show up for English, I locked up the room and went to the "Konditerem".....weight room, where two boys, both named Laci, were working out. I'm very close to one of them, and the other, has just recently started coming to church and is reading his Bible and seeking the Lord! We had a good conversation with difficult questions about God and the Bible being asked by both. I missed the bus I usually take back to the city, but it was worth it to have these very significant conversations with these young men. My way is to teach English; God's ways are much higher, and for this, I'm very thankful!!!

Dads and kids

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I love watching dads with their kids. While waiting for the bus this morning, I was watching a dad with his little girl as they played "hide-and-go-seek" on the playground in front of me. The silly smile which plastered my face was, I'm sure, noticed by many as I simply couldn't help but smile broadly, and nearly laugh out loud seeing this dad so attentive to his daughter. I sensed a "safety" between them, that even though for about a minute, one had no idea where the other one was, they would be reunited and "alone no more." How often do we feel like God is hiding from us, or more likely, do we try to hide from Him? We cannot, because He is continually seeking to know us and be in relationship with us; and, unlike the dad with his daughter in the park, God does not run and hide. We are the ones running from Him while He is always right there, seeking us out. The loving care of the Father, who never loses sight of His precious daughter or son: this is something about which to smile!

New Books!

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If you have ever spent any time in central or eastern europe in the winter months, you know that they are quite grey, and the days are rather short. Reading can become a favorite past-time since the chill of winter combined with the darkness lends itself to one lying under a warm comforter with a cup of hot tea and devouring a good book! I'm currently reading a very good book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I got turned onto it by a friend in the U.S. who encouraged me to read this as a result of sharing some thoughts/struggles/experiences I'm having here in Hungary. As I was just about to fall asleep last night reading, the last sentence in a chapter grabbed my eye and jolted me awake. The chapter is on "Community" and includes many challenging thoughts for someone like me who is single, living alone, and enjoying my solitude, while, of course, still longing for community. The line that kept me awake and thinking and then rolled through my thoughts throughout the day today is this: "If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus." (Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller, p. 185) I can't really add anything to this, except to say that I think I'd like to make this sentence my "New Year's Resolution" in a way, because when it is all said and done, life really isn't about us; it's about Jesus and His glory!

Impossible love

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Yesterday, I made my weekly visit to see "my kids" at the children's home. I was excited to see them since we'd not met for nearly 3 weeks! Tony, my favorite gypsy boy, was just drying off his hair with a towel when I came upstairs to the "older kids'" floor and greeted me with a joyful "Boldog Uj Evet, Arden!" (Happy New Year!) and the traditional Hungarian kisses on the cheeks. Tony gets so excited about successes in his life and he begins to rattle them off in such fast Hungarian that it takes all of my concentration to understand just the gist of what he is telling me! Shortly thereafter, other boys came along with similar new year's wishes and plenty of cheek kisses and we slowly caught up on each others' holidays. As I made my way to the other areas of the children's home, I met, once again, some of the "new boys".....the "special boys". My heart was breaking for a couple of them who are mentally challenged and want so much to talk with me, but I simply cannot understand their Hungarian through their slurred speech. It's difficult enough for me to decipher the teenage slang that most of them use, much less these kids. I got to wondering if they have anyone to talk to; anyone who can understand them. Again, my heart was breaking, but the Lord gently reminded me today of two very important lessons I must remember: first, they have HIM to talk to and He understands perfectly. "Yes, Lord, but how can they know you if no one tells them about You? And for me, it is impossible to love them in this way!" Then God taught me the second lesson: "You are called to pray for them; THIS is a great love which you show for them when you lift them up before me!" So, I pray for F., the pyromaniac, T. the battered and abused angry boy, and M. the questioner who needs help with "boundaries." Nothing is impossible with God!

Family time

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I was blessed this year to be able to visit with all immediate family members during the holidays, and on the evening of the 26th of December, as we sat at my parent's dining room table laughing and reminiscing, I looked around at my 3 brothers and my mom and dad and thanked the Lord for this precious moment; Lord only knows when we will all be together around a table again. It was on that same day that we heard about and saw the devastating news of the Tsunamis in the Indian Ocean region. What a stark contrast of situations: I sitting there enjoying my entire family being together, while others were being completely ripped apart by the forces of nature. Thousands of families will never sit down together again around a holiday table; yet there is beauty in seeing the entire world come to the aid of these desperate survivors, working together to try to piece things back together for them. I heard a report today on CNN about 3 little boys, none over the age of 3, found on one of the beaches, arms interlocked, obviously trying to help each other to survive. However, they died and were found with arms still interlocked; herein is a precious picture of what we need to be doing daily: locking arms and coming alongside those who need us, with the realization that we need them as well.