Life

Learned an "obvious" thing in a course I'm taking, but upon serious reflection it has huge implications. Here's the question: What does each of us have control over in our lives? There are only two things: Our attitudes and our actions. That's it. Some would argue we control our feelings, but realistically, we do not. Someone dies....automatically, if we knew them, a deep feeling of sadness hits us....we cannot control that feeling....we can, however, control our attitude in that situation and our action. Food for thought, huh?

Rain, rain go away!

Ok, I've had just about enough of the rain this winter. Szeged is known as the city of sunshine, yet we've seen more days of clouds and rain than sun in the past 3 months than ever before!!! The yard in back of my house is a mud pit from cars going in and out of their garages, mine included....and I don't even want to put my car in the garage because it means caking the tires with mud, which means splattering it everywhere when I drive, etc. The big question is: who is going to go out there and clean up the muddy mess? As I look out my kitchen window on the muddy puddles and the tire-ripped area, I wonder, isn't this like our lives...a muddy mess sometimes...and there is only ONE who can clean it up sufficiently. That One makes all things new; that One transforms the muddy mess into His beautiful garden, what it was intended to be. We have to give Him the mess...the process might be long, or it might be short, but we have to let Him do His work in our lives, His way.

Bird flu in Hungary

Well, as of today, the verdict is in: the H5N1 bird flu virus was found in 3 dead swans here in Hungary. No animal to human strain has yet occured, but those in authority are taking every precaution to keep it from spreading. I knew it was only a matter of time...nearly every bordering country is fighting it now as well. We live in interesting times, don't we? God continues to be in control!

Encouragement..........

As I was preparing for church this morning. I put on a worship CD I got. It's a collection of Twila Paris' worship songs and the lyrics from one of the songs which I've heard hundreds of times ministered deeply to my heart, especially after the past couple of days and seeing the stark reality of the spiritual battle.

"God is in control, we believe that his children will not be forsaken, God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken, there is no power above or beside him we know, oh, oh, oh, God is in control."

Be encouraged by this TRUTH, and don't let the lies of the enemy keep you from remembering this! www.ceokids.org

Cultural differences and the Olympics

I love watching the Olympic games here in europe on Eurosport. First, it's on 24-hours per day. Second, they show competitors from every country, not just the "home country's stars". Third, it's good for practicing my Hungarian. Anyway, yet another stark contrast between American and Hungarian culture came screaming to the surface via the Olympic games recently. In the men's figure skating, an unprecedented thing occurred with the 3 American competitors: ALL three of them finished in the top 10! This is fantastic! However, according to some in the American press, we didn't win a medal and so there was some moaning and groaning about how we didn't show well because we didn't win a medal.
Now for the other side of the picture. If anyone was watching closely, and hung in there to see who ended up in LAST place in the final standings, he or she would have seen Zoltan Toth, from Hungary, finished last. His comment to the press when interviewed was something along the lines of how absolutely thrilled he was even to have reached the finals and he was so happy about his finish in the Olympics. And apparently, Hungarians are also celebrating the fact that Zoltan made the cut to the finals and did as well as he did!
This divergence in cultures was also seen in the summer Olympics two years ago. Here in Szeged, they had a big screen TV set up on one of the main downtown squares where people could come and sit outside and watch the games. At another place on the square was a huge board with not just the Hungarian medal winners listed, but the names of EVERY Hungarian who had competed and what place they finished and hearty congratulations to ALL of them for their accomplishments.
I love that just "being" is celebrated and appreciated here and not just the "winners" are recognized and celebrated.
It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different.........I must admit, though, I prefer the difference I see here.

How DARE you...........!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the battle is on, the battle is real, and the battle is raging. I find it interesting that it has been about 3 months since I sort of "hit the wall" with exhaustion and just yesterday, I was blasted out of the "tomb" and back into the battle that is raging. Something significant about the number 3, isn't there? Yesterday, I went to see one of my "boys", 21 year old Laci, perform at the children's home "winter festival"; to make a long story very short, I learned about a group of people, graduates of the school of metaphysics here in Szeged, who have been coming to the home since just after Christmas and "ministering to the kids spirits" by giving them "love". For me, yesterday was RESURRECTION DAY!!!! This Lion of Judah is roaring with the angels of heaven against the minions of hell who have infiltrated this children's home with their deceitful LIES and manipulation. I cannot begin to express the profound sadness and righteous ANGER I felt and am feeling regarding this slimy tactic of the enemy to come in and try to steal, kill and destroy these kids. If you are a born-again follower of Jesus Christ, please stop now and pray for God to have His victory in their hearts and that He will raise up HIS army to go and do battle for these children, and He will drive the enemy OUT of this home and come sweeping in with His Holy Spirit to fill the hearts of these young people who are so hungry for love. How dare the enemy think that he can do this......Jesus, claim Your victory and protect your children!!!

To contemplate..........

A new friend asked me a very good question today: "If you were to pull out of leading these Bible studies that you have been leading for years now, would they continue on without you?"
My first response was a hesitating "ummmmm, weeellllll", then a "I think so, maybe....."
My realistic response was: "Maybe for a while, but probably not."
Convicting.
As a missionary, you don't want people getting attached to you; you want them getting attached to Jesus Christ. Of course if you are involved in church planting you are working on raising up indigenous leaders to lead the church and literally "working yourself out of a job."
But what about those of us leading home group Bible studies and such? The goal, obviously, is to see that they are rooted and grounded in their faith in Jesus Christ, and hopefully, connected to the local church. And this is indeed the case with most of the girls.
However, is "part of the draw" of these Bible studies to practice English? Not that that is a bad thing, necessarily, but if the Bible study "falls apart" when I leave for a season, what does that say about it, and more importantly, about me as a leader?
Hard question to come face to face with today, but a very good one!
Lord, help me to work myself out of a "job" here; I pray NO ONE is dependent upon me for their walk with You!" Amen.

Gifts

I love giving gifts! I'm not a very good receiver of gifts, but I am learning. I get such great joy out of making someone's day, surprising them, with something they weren't expecting. I'm not sure why this gives me such joy, but I think that God is much the same. As I continue to learn to humble myself before Him, and just worship Him, He shows up and gives me sweet gifts of Himself that are often surprising, and never quite the same. Sometimes these gifts are tangible: a hug from a friend, a word of encouragement, a touch, a prayer spoken aloud; other times they are intangible: peace, joy, overflowing sensation of His love. I don't always know what kind of gift will bless someone; but God always knows the perfect gifts that we need and just when we need them. May we continually look to Him for every good and perfect gift! www.ceokids.org

Reflections on Community

I've been reading a former student's blog. Thanks, J.R., for propelling me into the thinking mode on this topic. I also want to ask what is a "healthy community"? I ask because I am in the process of "becoming healthy", and I've been a believer for 25 years now. God showed me one and a half years ago just what "unhealthy" patterns are in my life, even as a Christian believer! The dying process began then, and like onion layers being peeled off, the dying process continues today. Have I hit rock bottom yet? I sure hope so; but as was pointed out to me just last week, I've still got flesh that needs to die. What does that mean for community? I believe that healthy community can only happen in a Christian community, and even in that community, a HEALTHY community is a very, very small community WITHIN that Christian community. I guess we could picture a pebble being thrown into a calm lake.....the "inner" circles of the ripples are those who are most healed and most healthy...it's a small, safe community of healed and healthy people; rippling outward are other "levels" of community, where vulnerability gets less and less, at least to the degree that we can be vulnerable, and the health of the community becomes less and less healthy as the ripples become wider and wider. I've got 5 "safe" people in my life right now....safe and healthy....and I don't see that number expanding any time soon. And that's OK!!! That I have 5 is an amazing blessing...people who are walking in TOTAL freedom in the Spirit, healed and delivered and know what unconditional love REALLY means. They are in the inner ripple; from there come others who are in the outer ripples, but they are not "safe"...this is not a judgement of them, just a fact of life...we still experience community together, just at a very, very different level, and that's OK!! I believe it is a reflection of when Jesus was here on the earth: He had Peter, James and John...His inner ripple...then the other 8 disciples as the next ripple, then Judas....then the crowds....what do you think?

Valentine's Day Thoughts

It's Valentine's Day in the U.S.A. That means lots of red and white and pink EVERYWHERE one looks; the capitalisitic reminder that we need to "make the most of every holiday and turn it into a money making venture!" I got online a week and a half ago and received an email ad "reminding" me that I could buy something for my "loved ones" for Valentine's Day online. I decided that this year, I would give in and send some people some gifts. I clicked on the link and saw that the prices weren't that bad; so I did my shopping and patted myself on the back for helping the American economy on this, the "Day of Love." Just 3 days later, I received the same email ad, and I happened to open it up, to see the same "gifts" I had purchased, and noticed that the price was $10 higher than what I had paid!!! I was thankful to have "gotten a good deal"; then yesterday, I noticed that the prices on these same items had doubled--the law of capitalism at work right before my eyes. It struck me that the items had not changed one iota; the flowers and vases and hearts and chocolates were exactly the same, but the price had doubled in one and a half weeks. It made me stop and think: these items were no more valuable now than they were 1 1/2 weeks ago...they were no fresher, no more lovely, no bigger or more desireable...but ALL were more expensive. There is a worship song called "Here I am to Worship" and the refrain goes like this: "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." This refrain is repeated time and again, and I was thinking about that song in light of Valentine's Day...supposedly the "day of love"...and yet every day, we have right before us, the greatest expression of love ever poured out over ALL of humanity....Jesus' red blood, shed on the cross, at a cost none of us could ever even begin to calculate, much less fathom. How often do I treat that gift from God so lightly, so flippantly and concentrate more on the cost of worldly things which will bring only temporary pleasure. None of us will EVER know, this side of heaven, how much that sacrifice of love cost; but we know how much a dozen roses costs today...and we pay the price because we want to show our love to someone. May we stop today and consider the amazing price that was paid by Jesus, who went willingly to the cross because "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not PERISH, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) We buy flowers or a gift to make someone happy for a day or a few days; God bought US, paying the ultimate price....are we flippant about that costly gift, not recognizing that without that gift, we would perish? I pray that this Valentine's Day, we all contemplate the greatest gift given of all, whose cost cannot be measured, and we would bow down and worship the King of Kings who gave up His life, that we might live for eternity. And finally, may we give someone the only gift worth giving....Jesus Himself and a personal relationship with Him! Amen.

Birthdays

Today is my oldest brother's 46th birthday. (I'm sure he really appreciates me posting his age on the web...oh well...) Of course I sent him the traditional snail-mail card wishing him Happy Birthday, in Hungarian no less, and I will try to call him, to sing the traditional song, but the strangest thing for me, if I really stop and think about it is that I've not celebrated any of my siblings' birthdays with them since we each turned 18. We've gone our separate ways, lived in various parts of the U.S. or world, and since our birthdays don't fall on or around major holidays, we've not gotten the chance to celebrate this huge day when the Lord chose that each of us would enter this world and be His child in flesh and blood for the days appointed for each of us. One memory I have of growing up with my oldest brother is watching him run cross-country in high school. He was good...he was very good. And I wanted to be just like him. So, of course I took up running. One year, I decided to run the Garden of the Gods 10-miler...he had been training, and I had been too....well, sort of....ok, I thought I could just go out there and run the thing. We went for a 5-mile run together the day before the race, and my brother said, "Arden, you will never make it the entire distance." Well, saying that to me put fire in my bones...as a precaution, however, I asked my dad to meet me at the 5-mile point, just in case I really couldn't make it. As I puffed my way to the 5 -mile point, and looked down this incredibly LONG hill to try to see my dad's car, I was crushed....no car....which basically meant, I had to finish the race. I did, in 100 minutes, and couldn't even WALK the next day! But I finished!!! The Apostle Paul says, "forgetting what is behind, strive toward what is ahead." Striving through those last 5 miles was excruciatingly painful, but I did it, through tears at times, and when I crossed the line, the look on my parents' and brothers' faces was priceless. They couldn't believe it! I couldn't either. But that verse is poignantly true in many ways...no matter what the naysayers say, the doubters, the skeptics, those who throw cold water on our dreams and goals and plans, we are to follow ONE voice and one voice only: That of our Lord Jesus Christ, "who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God the Father almighty!" Had Jesus "stopped" after Gethsemane, which he easily could have, and not "run" the last 5-miles for us, where would we be now? He heeded His Father's voice, and that voice alone, and He finished the race, declaring, "It is finished." His finish, when truly contemplated, puts amazed looks on our faces; and hopefully, fire in our hearts "to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me!" Thanks O. for this life-lesson, in rememberance of your birthday! www.ceokids.org

A lesson on jobs?????

I was teaching my 9th grade bilingual group yesterday (I have them 3 times a week) and the topic was "Jobs". However, God had other plans for the lesson that day. I cannot even tell you how we got off on the topic of families and then fathers. Well, by the end of the lesson, there were 3 girls in tears, and the rest of the class was quite sobered by what had transpired during the last 20 minutes of the lesson. I learned much from these kids....one of the teary girls told me how she would be happy never to communicate with her father ever again. Her parents divorced a year and a half ago, and in the fall, she tried calling her father to wish him a happy birthday, and he never even picked up his phone. He never called her at Christmas and has basically cut off all relationship with her. Another girl, through tears, explained how her father had abused her and the rest of her family, and how she wishes she could have a relationship with him, but he only hurts her. The third teary-eyed girl looked at me and said, "You have no idea what kind of father I have. I hope I never have to meet him again!" She then buried her eyes in the palms of her hands and wept for 10 minutes. The lesson on jobs quickly shifted to a lesson where I listened a lot, and tried to share some "hope" with them. A couple of other students opened up and shared about their "interesting" home situations, none of which sound very healthy. Sometimes I'm amazed that any of these kids can get through a day with what they have to deal with at home. I think, though, the most significant thing that came out of all of this for me was a "renewed" sense of my calling....and a possible shift in that calling. Yes, I still like teaching; I love days like this one I just described...much moreso than days where we indeed DO talk about jobs. I was "flying" after that lesson, so much wanting to be there for those kids, wanting to share with them the ONE who will never leave them, who will never abuse them, the One who loves them totally unconditionally. I like teaching, but I realized I'm not passionate about it....I'm passionate about people knowing Jesus. What does all this mean? I have no idea, except that I know I'm in a transition time; that God is changing and growing me; that He is working His perfect direction out in my life....and I am not sure what that means when it comes to being a teacher. If nothing else, this day showed me that these kids are in desperate need of the love of God; Lord annoint me to share that love with them in the next 4 months, and bring each of them into Your Kingdom!!! Amen! www.ceokids.org

"What is truth?"

This age-old question, quoted now mostly in reference to Pilate's question of Jesus in John 18:38, grows increasingly relevant in an age when even in the church, 'what is truth' is being 'tested.' Sadly, even Christians are "compromising" when it comes to the Truth, justifying action or non-action, as the case may be, on something other than the basis of God's uncompromising Truth. Indeed, the truth must be spoken in love, and if it is wielded as a weapon, then that is not truth, for at the heart of God's Truth is love. The loving thing to do is to confront someone with truth as God leads, lovingly; then let the Holy Spirit take care of what happens as a result. God's holiness and His standards cannot be compromised; Jesus came to fufill the law, not to abolish it; we reap what we sow...if we sow to the sinful nature, from that nature we will reap what we have sown. God is not a God of compromise. He is a jealous God, jealously longing after His children's hearts, lovingly wooing them back to Himself and into His presence; but if we compromise His truth, we will reap the fruit of that compromise. "Speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15) so that we may grow up into Christ. Otherwise, we remain as children, tossed about by the waves of the times. Lord, change me, that I may see Your Truth and speak that truth in love! Amen.