Learning.....

There is nothing greater than the moment the Lord gently grabs a hold of your heart and squeezes it with His love, even as He points out places where you need to change.

Such was the case this morning.  I didn't sleep well last night.  Anxious.  Worried.  Questioning.  I crawled out of bed and went to the living room where I continued reading Cliff Graham's book Song of War, hoping to lose myself in the battles of King David and his men.  

I finally made my way back to bed a couple of hours later and awakened to my alarm sounding at 6:30.  One thing I like about my I-phone is that I can listen to the Bible being read to me by a fabulous man with a British accent.  So, I lay there in bed, allowing God to minister to my still-troubled heart through the reading of His Word.  Then, that wonderful, still small voice came through as I cried out.

"You are trying to rescue, and you need to repent."

Of course there was much more to this morning dialogue with God, but that comment above pretty much sums up what I am learning.  

Being single, with all of its drawbacks, had its advantages.  I only had to be concerned about me, really.  God was my husband and provider and He always came through.

Being married, with all of its blessings, has its drawbacks.  Dying to the way I've done things my whole life...stepping back from taking care of myself and allowing my husband to take that role.  Walking a walk of faith like never before, trusting and knowing that He is good and he is good too!  

Repentance is a good thing, especially in this season leading up to Yom Kippur and in this season of the fall feasts.  It makes sense that God is stripping away all of the old ways of functioning to make way for the new.  

As my husband came in to pray with me, the presence of the Lord descended and His peace drove out all anxiety and stress.  He is faithful to lead us perfectly.  I am learning......

Happy New Year....almost!

Yes indeed, we are fast approaching the new year, 5774!  In fact, we are celebrating this new year with our spiritual family on Wednesday evening!  I've never felt more alive and more in tune with the Lord than in this past year as we have entered in to His timetable, His calendar and His cycles of blessing!  

Some of you know that this past year has been challenging on numerous fronts....but, IT ALL MAKES SENSE AS TO WHY!!!!!!!  As we have aligned ourselves with God's calendar, He has seen fit to be faithful in each of His months to what He is doing to form us into His perfect bride.  How freeing and exciting to know that we don't have to "guess" about what His purposes are.  

So, Happy New Year, everyone!  May Yeshua be lifted up and praised!

Life's complications

I once heard a saying:

Life was much less complicated back in the sandbox.

How very true.  I just saw the movie "Elysium" this afternoon, and life was complicated both on earth and on Elysium, but for very different reasons.  

People are complicated.  The older I get, the more complicated they seem to become.  I long for the simplicity of the sandbox sometimes.  At least there, everyone who was present wanted to be there and they worked together toward a common goal...building something.  Creativity abounded and a natural cooperation unfolded that forged friendships.  The sandbox became our own little world where we could create life as we wanted it to be.  I remember it was always constructive and never destructive, unless of course your brother came plowing through with the sole intent of disrupting everything.  But it could all be re-built fairly quickly, and in the process, improved.  

Maybe there are valuable lessons we can learn.  We are continually faced with those who come and plow through our creations.  If we stick together, we can rebuild, stronger and more creatively than the first time.  Life's complications are merely that:  complications.  They are not defeats, nor are they completely destructive.  Great hope, life and fortitude is forged in the fires of life's complications. 

Simon is gone....not forgotten....and God has been teaching me through it all!

My last post was about Simon and his downhill plunge.  Sadly, two weeks and one day ago, we had to make the EXTREMELY hard decision to put him to sleep.  

The morning we took him to the vet, he awoke and came out to the kitchen and drank water...the first in 4 days...and he didn't throw it up.  I began to have second thoughts about putting him down, but the reality of what his life would be like post hospitalization convinced me that he would be miserable, and so would we.  

The gift I got at the vet was to be able to say goodbye to him with my hubby Paul right beside me.  The greater gift was to be able to hold him when they injected him with the "sleeping" medicine.  You see, Simon was a cat who hardly ever let me hold him.  On rare occasions he would let me pick him up, but within about 15 seconds, he was squirming to get out of my arms.  So, when I held him for the last time at the vet's office, and he fell limp in my arms, I wept.  The vet asked me if I wanted to put him back in his carrier, and I said, "No, Simon never let me hold him longer than 30 seconds his whole life; now I am going to hold him all the way home."  And I did.  I held his lifeless body in my arms, stroked his soft fur and enjoyed every second of it.  

I miss my little boy so much, and in the days following his passing, I asked the Lord many questions.  

"God, why did you take Toby (my other cat and my favorite) before Simon?"

Answer:  "I took him first because you had to learn how to love Simon as much as you loved Toby."

Of course I broke down weeping hearing this because indeed, I had loved Toby more, but in the last two years, I'd absolutely fallen in love with Simon and had grown to appreciate all his quirkiness.  

"God, why didn't you just take Simon in his sleep?"

Answer:  "I wanted you to make the hard decision to let him go yourself, to do the unselfish thing, even though it would break your heart.  You had to learn to say goodbye to one you had grown to love so deeply."

As I write this, I am weeping almost as hard as I did when I first heard the Lord say these words two weeks ago.  

"God, how does this apply to me and life?"

Answer:  "You had to learn to love Simon, who was difficult to love at times.  (He really was challenging to love....I have lots of stories)  I'm bringing people into your life who will be very difficult to love, and you are called to love them...to learn to love them...just as you learned to love Simon."

Sobered is the only word that captures how I felt when I heard the Lord speak these words to my spirit.  God uses EVERYTHING to shape and form us and prepare us.  

I love my little buddy and always will.  Of course he and his brother, Toby, are memorialized in my book, Walking Forward-Discoveries in Freedom and Forgiveness.  

So long for now, Simon....I wonder if Toby was there to greet you when you passed....I sure hope so!

Simon is not doing well....

This is a picture of my precious cat, Simon when he was doing better than he is today.  Three days ago, he began showing strange signs of not feeling well.  

Backing up, about a month ago, I noticed he began losing weight and was drinking a lot of water.  I know this is a sign of "something" in a cat....not something good....especially in an older cat.  Simon is now 15, so he is no spring chicken.  We just kept loving on him, and he kept losing weight, but he was eating, playing and talking.

Finally, yesterday, I took him to the vet because he'd not eaten nor drunk a thing since Sunday afternoon.  He'd lost 3.5 pounds over the last year, and was really looking thin as he stood on the table at the vet's office.  We brought him home after they took blood and have been waiting for him to urinate to get that sample.....no luck.  He's just gotten increasingly lethargic in the last 24 hours and is now camped out under our bed, the place he goes when he is scared during a storm.  I've tried giving him water with an eye dropper, and while I've gotten a little in, he pulls away and is not interested at all.  

My heart is breaking....I wept this morning, realizing this may be goodbye to my buddy of 15 years.  This little guy has been through it all.  He nearly died shortly after I hauled him and Toby to Hungary back in 2000.  The vet there said it was a miracle that he lived, and he only had 1/2 of one kidney still functioning.  After 9 years of living in Hungary, I carted them back to the U.S., and upon going to the vet learned that God had healed Simon's kidneys!  The vet here said both of his kidneys were functioning 100%; praise God as I had asked God to heal them and He did!  

In 2011, just 2 months before I got married, my other buddy, Toby, died suddenly and tragically after having a seizure.  I was devastated.

Now I'm facing losing my other buddy.  I told Paul this morning that he's been with me through a lot....and I'm so thankful to the Lord for his companionship these 15 years.  I know he's not gone yet, but I will miss this little guy....I just pray he doesn't suffer.  I've asked the Lord to have him fall asleep and not wake up....I pray this happens when it's his time.  

Partnership

I love partnering with people, and as I am building my own business, I want to plug a friend's business here in Kansas City as well.  

Ben and Katie Fetzer own Fetz Cleaning Services.  Follow this LINK TO FIND OUT MORE!

They have been busy of late, after all this rain, helping people get water out of basements.  Great people, great service, and I know you will be pleased!  :-)

Celebrating life with our Bulgarian friends!

Our Bulgarian friends, Hari and Penka, got to meet some of our American friends here in Kansas City at a fun cookout on Sunday!  

Hari and Penka are very talented artists, which is how they raise support for their work in Bulgaria sharing the love of Jesus.

What an honor to have them in our home!

 
 
 

Preparing to host missionaries from Bulgaria!

My heart is beating a little faster today.  In about 24 hours, we will be hosting precious Bulgarian friends, Hari and Penka!  They are an amazing couple, artists, lovers of God who are having a major impact in their home country of Bulgaria and to the nations beyond!

I first met Hari and Penka two years ago when they came through Kansas City.  My heart was wrecked by their humility, their stories and I feel like I have pieces of them with me all the time because we happen to have 3 pieces of their artwork in our home.  

I am so excited for more of my friends here in Kansas City to meet them this coming week!  These folks walk the talk and all are blessed who know them!  Below is a recent letter about their ministry.  Read and be blessed!  


Dear Praying Friends of Hari and Penka,

Since you last saw Hari and Penka, their ministry has taken off, and, because of your prayers and gifts, 

continues to expand. 

Thank you for loving them and standing with them.

Using an evangelism-training method called T4T (you can read about it at www.t4tonline.org), Hari and
Penka have launched new small groups in eight Muslim villages. 

Using T4T, new believers
are immediately taught how to share their faith. Two of these small groups have exploded,
which is great, but where do they meet if there are too many for a small village house or a
small apartment? The solution is “temporary” (which in Bulgaria means “made of wood”)
meeting rooms. So now one congregation meets in its own building, and another is completing
its structure. More of these will be needed as the other house groups expand in their villages.

George Ainsworth
ANM’s Desk Director for Eastern Europe and Russia
Here is the story of what’s happening in their ministry now, in Hari’s words:
According to God’s plan this is the first small church building among 500 Turkish and Bulgarian
Moslem villages in all of the Kardjali region. On April 17th Penka and I visited the group and met some of the
parents and children there. We had a prayer with them for God’s blessings, for a good start, finishing, and for
Salvation of many souls there. After 17th of April with some help of local people and three paid specialist
builders we started and later, next week April on 23th we visited the village again and already the foundation of
the building had appeared. People were happy seeing this small progress.
Now they are meeting in their building! But we need a similar building for another village, where
people are turning to Christ and being baptized. The materials for one of these simple wooden buildings cost
only about $1000. God originally opened the door to this village several years ago with a miracle. The people
here depend heavily on tobacco as a cash crop. When we first visited this village, we told them the Lord sent
us, so they asked us to pray blessing on their crop. They had their best harvest ever! So now, when we come
evangelizing, they are mostly very open.
Advvvaaanccciiinggg
Naaatttiiivvveee Miiissssssiiiooonsss
When the Gospel of the Kingdom
is preached throughout the
September 2012 world… (Matt.24:14)
A view of the
Rhodope Mountains
in the Kirdjali Region
where Hari and
Penka minister
CHRIST RESURRECTION MINISTRIES
New church buildings in the Kirdjali Region of Bulgaria
New believers in the Kirdjali Region of Bulgaria
‘In addition to these things, we did three 3-day seminars on “T4T” evangelism in different cities in Bulgaria. And now, as this letter goes to you, we are doing child evangelism through art camps for children in the mountain villages. This year we are working in a new area close to the Greek border among Bulgarian Muslim villages. We have to go village by village and to be with the people and children very close to their houses. Penka and I will do two art workshops each day over about one month visiting different villages. We expect to work in 7 villages in August. One art workshop we plan in the morning and one in the evening. We will sleep in a small local hotel there. In some places we will work together with the local authorities who are happy someone is trying to help their children. The Lord has provided about half the cost of this through Bulgarian Christians, and we are trusting Him for the rest.
There is one problem where we need your help and prayers. Our old van, which we need to visit these small congregations and also to teach seminars, is costing us a lot of money in repairs. We really need a new one, but that probably means $8000 to $10,000 that we don’t have. If you can help, God bless you! If you can pray for this, God bless you also!
There’s one more area to share with you. Many of you know that our church building in Kardjali has been “under siege” because of the unfair demands of the contractor who built it. In June the Supreme Court reviewed the case behind closed doors, but they have not yet released their findings. If they determine the appellate court did not follow proper procedures then they will send it back to the appellate court and three new judges will be assigned. The new judges should then send it back to the court in Kardjali for clarifications. After the clarifications the builder will once again be allowed to appeal and it will go back to the appellate court, where the judges will hear arguments from both sides. This process could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.
Before the builder sued for over double his contract amount, the church had paid him about $50,000, which is about half what we owed. Since then, thanks to the generosity of both American and Bulgarian friends, the church has most of the balance sitting in a bank account, IF the court decision comes out in our favor. We only lack about $4000 of what is owed, but once a decision is issued, we only have two weeks to pay the balance, so we really need to have it on hand!
Pray that the Supreme Court would agree with the church. Pray the court will issue a ruling shortly after returning from recess. Pray that all the money needed for settlement will be on hand when the decision is reached. Most importantly, pray that the builder will come to know the Lord!
Dear friends, we hope these few lines convey some of the joy and excitement we have here as God breaks through with His light and love in the Rhodope mountains of southern Bulgaria. “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light!” (Isaiah 9:2). THANK YOU for your gifts and prayers so that the true Light can shine among the Bulgarian and Turkish Muslims and the Turkish gypsy people of southern Bulgaria.
God bless you!
Hari and Penka
Hari and Penka minister in the area of and around the red dot which is called the Kirdjali region of Bulgaria.
Gifts for Christ Resurrection Ministries are tax-deductible and should be made payable to Advancing Native Missions.
P.O. Box 5303
Charlottesville, VA 22905
Tel: (540) 456-7111
Fax: (540) 456-7222
Anm@adnamis.org
www.advancingnativemissions.com
ADVANCING NATIVE MISSIONS is a U.S. based agency called to seek out, evaluate, and send support to indigenous mission groups throughout the world. 10 % of all gifts is reserved for administration purposes. This, and the amounts raised by the staff for their support; and gifts especially designated for defraying administration expenses (including portions of gifts designated ‘where most needed’) are utilized to cover the total administrative and operational expenses of Advancing Native Missions. A financial statement is available upon request from the State Division of Consumer Affairs of the Commonwealth of Virginia. ANM is a member of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA). Overseas letters may be edited for space and clarity.
344 CRM U04312
Editor: Dee Brookshire

Gardening in new ways this year!

We are trying the method of "Back to Eden" gardening as can be seen on YouTube.  We have our soil, our compost and our woodchips....we've planted our seedlings and we are watering.  Now we wait. 

Another change is that we planted posts in concrete around the garden and put up a wee bit taller fence with a home-made gate, made by yours truly, Paul Czaszewicz.  :-)  

Already we are harvesting....asparagus which is going into year #3, and kale from last year's crop. Somehow, it survived the winter.  We've made the choice to avoid squash crops this year due to the severe infestation of squash bugs we had last year.  This makes me a bit sad as I love pumpkins and zucchini, but fighting the bugs was a full-time job!  :-)  

Pictures to come later......

Another year with Write at Home completed

I have one of the best jobs in the world...I'm a writing coach online with Write at Home.  You can find them here:  WRITE AT HOME  if you are interested in learning more.

I love helping students with their writing even though it is not face to face, which took some getting used to.  It's rather odd, as I finish my last set of papers, to say "goodbye" via the internet.  There is a tremendous lack of personal touch, not being able to look these students in the eye and give them high fives for all the great writing they have done over the course of this academic year.  However, I still love it.  

Now, it's on to building my other businesses, Visalus and Thrive Life!  Have a look at these links if you want to help me by supporting these businesses!

Visalus Shakes

Thrive Life!

Clogged?

We have a drain in our driveway that collects the water from rainfall as well as from the sump pump and sends it through a long underground pipe into the backyard.  For the past couple of weeks, we've noticed that it's overflowing, causing flooding in our driveway and flowing into our neighbor's driveway, littering it with dirt and wood chips.  

I kept thinking, "Oh great, we're gonna have to call someone and have them do a major job of fixing this drain."

This morning, as I was sitting on the front porch and hearing the gurgling, watching the water pour out and over to our neighbor's driveway, I thought I would lift the grate and see if I could figure out the problem.  When I lifted the grate, I was greeted by a huge pile of leaves, dirt and worms!  It was a simple fix:  clean out the blockage.  The second I pulled out the junk, the water flowed normally.

No more mess...no more blockage....removing the junk....what a life lesson.  What junk do we have in our hearts that is creating a blockage, which creates a mess in our lives and in the lives of those around us.  As I looked at the junk, I thought, this would make great compost for our garden as the worms squirmed around in the leaves and dirt.  So, I tossed it in the garden, realizing that that which caused problems can be turned around to bring life.  

God's design

Two days ago, my husband Paul made the comment, "Shouldn't our asparagus be coming up by now?"  

Curiosity got the best of me and the next morning, I ventured out to our garden to look for asparagus.  I'd just cut the old, dead winter stalks down the week before and was a bit discouraged as it appeared that maybe our crop had died out.  Imagine my excitement when I found three heads of asparagus poking up through the wood chips!  

I love God's designs in nature....things "die" in the winter time, and He resurrects them in the spring to feed His children in the summer and fall.  And as we learn to steward the harvest during the fall, we can be well-fed through the winter and spring months. 

If I didn't have to have a paying job, I could very easily live on a small farm and garden, have animals, and of course a retreat house and ministry center where people could come to be healed, refreshed, restored, equipped and sent out again.  

Entering the new month of Iyar

We are on a tremendously exciting journey into the heart and timing of God.  According to God's calendar, we are entering the month of Iyar (Ee-yar) and here are some of the admonitions:

• This month is linked with light, which signifies increased revelation.  Light is the opposite of darkness.  If darkness tries to overtake you, this month say, "No, I am increasing in revelation."  Isaiah 60 says that the glory can be seen on you and radiates off of you.  This is the month you need to light up with His glory.
• In Iyar, God revealed His covenant secrets.  He is our healer, He is our provider, He is our banner of victory over every enemy.
• Biblically, this is the month of natural healing.  That's not the same as miracles.  god wants to permeate the body with natural healing.  You do not need to strive for healing.  "I am the Lord your Healer."  (Ex. 15:26)   (From A Time to Advance by Chuck Pierce)

As I continue to walk in God's timing, I am seeing His face more and more and experiencing the presence of His Spirit to deeper levels.  Even so, I have barely scratched the surface to know this amazing God!

Believing God for miracles....

There are things all of us are believing the Lord for in this season!  I'm being challenged on many levels to believe God for tangible miracles.

Transforming lives....

Gold crowns....three to be exact....

Good jobs to replace old jobs..........

Debts paid off.............

Who's with me in standing in faith?  

College buds!

For the first time in over 25 years, I got to celebrate my and my best friend from college's birthdays together in Minnesota!  Kitty and I met my freshman year at Northwestern when I went through sorority rush...yes, I was a sorority girl....and we lived in the same dorm that year as well.  She ended up being my pledge mom in Theta, and she is one of the only "sisters" of mine with whom I've kept in close touch over the years!

Our birthdays are two days apart, so when I was in MN this past weekend, we took advantage of the time and celebrated!  She, in her generosity, took both me and Paul out to a wonderful dinner!  Sadly, her hubby was out of town on a ski trip with their son, but it was fun nonetheless!  

Good, long-time, LIFETIME friends are a rare species; I am so thankful for our friendship!  

I am looking VERY tired after working 5 days, 10 hours/day!  

Men's brains and Women's brains

I knew that men's and women's brains were different, but the book I'm reading...see below blog posts...really fleshed some things out that I'd not considered.  Helpful is an understatement when it comes to being married to one of those men whose brain is very different than mine. 

The 'division' of the brain which occurs in utero in a male causes them to be more 'one-track-mind' thinkers, thus enabling them to be very focused, detailed and thorough.  On the other hand, we women naturally multi-task because the two halves of our brains were not, in a sense, 'severed' from each other in the womb.  The positives for women are obvious:  we can accomplish a lot all at once; the negatives are that we can expend more energy and not be as focused on something as we might need to be.  For me, it's not being as thorough.

The joy in rediscovering these truths is that I can love my husband more fully, understanding him and the way his brain functions, and knowing that it's different than they way mine functions, and that is a GOOD thing.  

Laugh You Way to a Better Marriage

Here are a few more thoughts from this great book I am reading by Mark Gungor:

"You are going to lose in the marriage enterprise if you don't stop, drop, and roll over the fact that men and women are not equal. We may be equally valuable, but we differ in a litany of ways.  If we don't recognize and adjust to those differences, our marriages will not be what God intended them to be.

When we are able to talk openly about our differences, we will learn how to actually enjoy and celebrate them. If we can't be "naked" about how different we are from each other, we will never be able to experience intimacy in our marriages.  We'll just be playing roles.  Conflict may come when we first start discovering and discussing our differences, but conflict eventually gives way to appreciation and celebration.  When we don't give our spouse room to be himself or herself, conflict comes, too, but it comes to stay.  

Remember this law the next time you hit a rough patch when your expectations are not met:  Men and women are not created equal (the same).  Manage your expectations and endeavor to better understand each other.  Learning about each other, and accepting, celebrating, and negotiating differences are not natural practices for us.  But we must learn these skills if we want to have great marriages."

Quote from Martin Luther

"Faith, like light, should always be simple and unbending; while love, like warmth, should beam forth on every side, and bend to every necessity of our brethren."

A book I am reading

Late last fall, I went to a HUGE book fair and happened to pick up a book called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor.  It sat on my shelf until this past Friday night when I decided we needed to laugh more in our marriage.

After looking at the table of contents, I turned to a chapter called "What's Sex Got to Do With it?"  I wish I could write out the entire chapter here.  As soon as I began reading silently, I laughed, which meant I had to read it out loud to Paul as well.  So, we had a fun Friday evening with me reading this chapter out loud to my husband.  The further I progressed, the more "Wows" came out of each of our mouths.  We both agree that every person needs to read this book, single or married, and especially young people.  I want to take some time in the next few posts to share some of the author's words and let blog readers ponder them.

"There are some so uptight about this subject (sex) that they refuse to even say the word "sex"!  Most pastors prefer to use the word "intimacy."  I've often wondered if it's not this Pollyanna approach that is most responsible for such statistics as 50 percent of Christian men are involved in pornography; Christian teenagers having sex and getting pregnant with as much frequency as those outside the Church; adultery between Church members becoming an everyday occurrence; or sexually transmitted diseases pouring into Christian families.  Maybe this is happening with greater frequency because we can't say "sex"!" (p. 144)

"The early Christian church was composed exclusively of Jews.  Over time, however, those outside of Judaism (the Gentiles) outnumbered the Jews and the Church became predominantly non-Jewish.  As the Church moved forward without their Jewish brothers, we lost something truly vital to understanding God's plan and meaning for marriage:  we lost thousands of years of Jewish tradition in which sex was viewed as something wonderful in God's sight.

As heathens turned from their pagan ways and joined the Church, they knew sex only from the perspective of lust, debauchery, perversion, selfishness, and even violence!  Heathens used sex in every sickening way of which they could conceive.  When people openly repented of their sins and were baptized, sexual sins where the ones most frequently confessed.  Viewing sex as something wonderful stayed with the Jews, however, and the Christian Church struggled with that concept for centuries.

History shows that the early leaders of the Church---priests and even popes---were married and had children.  Early on, marriage and physical lover were viewed as good.  But as time passed and the Church moved further and further away from her Jewish roots, she began to view sex as something pagan and dirty.  

The negative view of sex that has percolated during most of Christian history was never part of Jewish thought."

I won't go on, but trust me, Mark Gungor fleshes out his writing with hits and humor that bring to light the realities of how we have been duped in our thinking about the different aspects of marriage, AND how our Jewish roots shed much light on how things really should be done.  I look forward to more fun evenings of laughing our way to a better marriage!

The state of education

My hubby texted me yesterday afternoon telling me that three of his fourth graders had been suspended.

These are 10 year olds.

One was suspended for popping a classmate in the head.

Two were suspended for bullying.

Last week, another fourth grader was suspended....he's now been suspended twice since the 3rd of January.

Apparently, there are other students in this elementary school being suspended as well.  It's about time.  The school just got a new administrator who is not afraid to lower the boon on these kids and their unacceptable behavior which is keeping teachers from teaching and other students from learning.  

As we were driving out to an appointment last night, I asked Paul if he had EVER been suspended from school.  Neither one of us was....EVER.  And here he is facing 10 year olds who NEED to be suspended...and the stories continue...first graders punching teachers in the eye, a second grader dislocating the shoulder of a teacher.  

And then teachers are told that they need to be kind, loving and gentle with these kids, building their self-esteem.  We are seeing the results of the "feel-good" approach to education.

As I told Paul last night, I lived in a good fear of my parents, the administration of the school and I respected my teachers too much to be disrespectful.  It breaks my heart to hear stories like I get to hear now every day.  I completely understand why more and more families are choosing homeschooling...I sure would!