Learning.....

There is nothing greater than the moment the Lord gently grabs a hold of your heart and squeezes it with His love, even as He points out places where you need to change.

Such was the case this morning.  I didn't sleep well last night.  Anxious.  Worried.  Questioning.  I crawled out of bed and went to the living room where I continued reading Cliff Graham's book Song of War, hoping to lose myself in the battles of King David and his men.  

I finally made my way back to bed a couple of hours later and awakened to my alarm sounding at 6:30.  One thing I like about my I-phone is that I can listen to the Bible being read to me by a fabulous man with a British accent.  So, I lay there in bed, allowing God to minister to my still-troubled heart through the reading of His Word.  Then, that wonderful, still small voice came through as I cried out.

"You are trying to rescue, and you need to repent."

Of course there was much more to this morning dialogue with God, but that comment above pretty much sums up what I am learning.  

Being single, with all of its drawbacks, had its advantages.  I only had to be concerned about me, really.  God was my husband and provider and He always came through.

Being married, with all of its blessings, has its drawbacks.  Dying to the way I've done things my whole life...stepping back from taking care of myself and allowing my husband to take that role.  Walking a walk of faith like never before, trusting and knowing that He is good and he is good too!  

Repentance is a good thing, especially in this season leading up to Yom Kippur and in this season of the fall feasts.  It makes sense that God is stripping away all of the old ways of functioning to make way for the new.  

As my husband came in to pray with me, the presence of the Lord descended and His peace drove out all anxiety and stress.  He is faithful to lead us perfectly.  I am learning......