OUCH!

Ok, here is a blast from the past. Remember the film E.T.? Pretty much the only scene I can remember is when the kids are saying goodbye to E.T. and everyone is crying and E.T., with his long-outstretched alien finger points to his heart and then points to the little girl and says, "OUCH!" communicating that his heart is hurting at the goodbyes they are experiencing and the separation.

That's my heart today. Whoa, Arden, being a bit vulnerable on the blog! It's not "ouch" because of saying goodbye to particular people (that happened 7 months ago), and it's not "ouch" because anyone here is leaving. It's "ouch" because of the reality of just how much our hearts long for deep intimacy and life-long "connection" but it simply cannot happen with people to the level or degree that many of us desire. Life is life and with all of it's amazing, wonderful, challenging dynamics has a way of short-circuiting the deepest longings of our hearts for true intimacy. So right now, there is a deep "ouch" in my heart, which God is allowing because of the 'end' that He has in mind:

Intimacy with Him. Deeper intimacy with Him. Complete heart-abandonment in Him. True fulfillment in His love, His embrace, His ability to meet every need and desire of our hearts solely in Him.

So, where does that leave relationships? Necessary? Yes, because in relationships, we are refined, and others see the love of God. Aha, that's it...just got some new revelation as I'm sitting here typing...maybe it's not surprising that people are not flocking to Jesus by the droves because He Himself said, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35) Are we disciples of Jesus loving one another as He loves us? Yet back to my first question: where does that leave relationships? Necessary, yes...but as the sweet icing on the cake.

I love cake and sometimes I even like it without the icing, but a GOOD icing makes the cake even better. When the icing is too thick, it robs the taste of the cake; but when it is spread way too thinly, you are left wanting more. It's the balance of cake and icing that makes the enjoyment beneficial for all.

So, the E.T. "ouch!" is pretty pronounced today. The icing is spread pretty thin right now, but that's ok because the cake is still in the oven, and His perfect flame is making, refining and making me increasingly solid in His love and in Him alone so that I'm ready for the perfect layer of icing.