Another cultural lesson

I dragged myself out of bed this morning to go swimming. At this point, after having lived here a full 5 years, you would think that nothing in the culture would "disturb" me anymore....well, I am having to relearn yet another cultural lesson which I've encountered many times, but this morning, it was very pronounced. In the locker room, there are about 12 different benches on which people can set their bags and change clothes, etc. After swimming, I fetched my bag from the small room where the "neni" (slang for woman, sort of) keeps an eye on everyone's belongings. I made my way to the bigger changing room and laid claim to the first bench, which was empty. I went in to take my shower, and when I came back and was drying off, a woman came in and proceeded to put her bag down on the bench right next to my stuff. Ok, fine, the bench is plenty big enough for two people; however, I looked up, and there were about 5 benches, completely free and unused by anyone. I shrugged it off, thinking, "well, she didn't want to walk any further than the first bench." So, she finishes changing to go swim, takes her bag to the "neni's" room, and I continue to get dressed. A moment later, another woman walks in....and where does she set her bag? You got it, on my bench.....by this time, there are 7 free benches in the room...."Why does this woman have to crowd my space? Why can't she find her own bench and BOTH of us will have plenty of room?" I kept these thoughts to myself. I went to blow dry my hair and when I returned to "my bench", that woman had left and ANOTHER woman had come in and, yep, she'd dropped her stuff on my bench!!! I looked across the room and counted: 8 FREE BENCHES!!!! It was at that moment that the cultural differences came crashing through....we Americans love and value our space. If this was a locker room in America, the first woman would have come in and at the very least would have put her bag on the second bench, near me, but not ON my bench. Most probably, she would have gone even further away, to give us each some space. Some Americans would even go to the furthest bench away. So here is my conclusion about Hungarians....under communism and socialism, they were taught to "fall in line". You don't "find your own personal space"; instead you go to the first space next to the person who is already there and "set up camp". I realized I'm still very American.......I wanted to be able to spread out....to have my own bench......anyway, there are plenty of other benches, and these other women could have plenty of space too. Rule 2 hit home once again: "It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different."

Being blessed by saying "No"

Some folks from Zion Church organized a "sports day" in the park across the river yesterday afternoon. Those of you who know me well are thinking, "this is right up Arden's alley....of COURSE she will be there in the middle of it all!!!" Indeed, I went, but once I got there, and realized a dear friend of mine was not there....her kids and husband were there....my zest for sports waned, and I decided to spend the time in what I would consider a "more productive" way....for me at least. I said my hellos and goodbyes to those about to embark on hours of sport competition, and made my way back to my friend's flat, where we enjoyed the afternoon on her balcony getting caught up on our summers. What a treasure that time was for me, and I think for her as well. I'm sure the sports day was great, building relationships with folks, but God has me in a place of nurturing relationships rather than starting and building. And in nurturing, it means at times saying "no" to what I might naturally like to do....play sports....and "yes" to more intimate time one-on-one with a friend. I truly didn't miss playing sports yesterday....what a good God we have to bless us when we say "no". www.ceokids.org

Calm in the midst of chaos

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I like visiting Budapest....not often, but every so often, it is fun to go to "the big city" and take in the hustle and bustle of the capital, especially since I know I can always hop the train out of there! Yesterday, I met a friend for coffee, and then, while waiting for my train back to Szeged, I decided that instead of hanging out in the Mc
Donald's at the train station, I would go to Margit Island....a gorgeous, idyllic place situated in the middle of the Danube river, overrun with people, but somehow, more peaceful than the bustling streets of Pest. I found myself a quiet place right next to the river, overlooking the Pest side of the city and near enough to hear the lapping of the water on the shoreline. I got comfy, pulled out my book, read for about 10 minutes and promptly fell asleep with the soft drones of cars, trams and busses in the background and more importantly, the quiet lapping of the water below me. I had set my alarm, knowing I didn't want to "worry" about making my train, and so rested fitfully for about 40 minutes while joggers went by just behind me on the path, boats and barges made their way up and down the river in front of me, and the breeze blew through the trees above me. A perfect picture of what our lives can be like in the midst of the chaotic world we sometimes find ourselves in.....calmly resting in the Father's arms, allowing Him to pour His lapping love over us as we rest with the chaos passing us by. I missed nothing, and gained everything in those minutes by the river. www.ceokids.org

Learning how to listen

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I'm getting back in the teaching saddle next week. We had our first teacher's staff meeting yesterday, and I understood 90%. Guess that's a pretty cool testimony to God's faithfulness in helping me with this language. As I approach a new year with lots and lots of "activities" already on the agenda, and a new person trying to pull me into his/her world and agenda, I'm realizing the tremendous need I will have this year in learning how to say a very simple word: "No". I'm excited to have 14 groups of students.......most teachers would freak out at that number as it means over 200 students again. I have 5 classes of seniors, 4 juniors 3 sophomores, and 2 freshman groups. Most classes are "one-shot deals"......I have one chance per week to love on kids who desperately need to see the love of Jesus lived out before them. Lord, show me mercy and give me grace to love as You love, to see them as You see them, to hear the cries of these kids as You hear them, and to set before them one hope: Jesus Christ. To read more about loving kids through teaching, go to this link and enjoy!

Hungarian

I just got back from a 2-week intensive Hungarian language course. You would think that I would have lots of confidence; however, I'm now terrified to open my mouth. "I should know how to say this correctly grammatically....but I'm not sure, so I'll just speak English." NOT a good place to be...wondering "what others think." One thing I did conclude after the two weeks is that this is a very challenging language, and most of my Hungarian friends tell me that even THEY don't know the Hungarian grammar! God reminded me, however, that HE knows this language perfectly, and He will help me learn it!

Weekend fun!

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About 150 of us boarded 3 buses to 3 different small towns here in Hungary on Saturday to experience museums, castles, wine-tasting, and food. As I sat on one bus with so many different nationalities, I just had to smile that here we all are communicating in Hungarian with one another....Germans, Americans, Austrians, Hungarians, Italians, Spaniards, French, Israelis......and resisting the temptation to break into our mother tongues with each other. I once heard a good joke: What language will we speak in Heaven? Answer: Hungarian, because it will take an eternity to learn it!
I'm definitely feeling that way starting this second week of intensive language classes; the vocabulary list grows, the grammar gets increasingly challenging, and when I open my mouth, I feel like I cannot speak a single sentence in Hungarian well or grammatically correct. But at the weekend, we had such fun trying to talk with each other, and correcting each others' Hungarian, showing lots of grace to one another. If nothing else from these two weeks, I've learned how some of my students feel, and I know it will affect my teaching when I go back to Szeged and start the new school year. Patience needs to be my middle name!

Word of the day!

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I wish I could say that I am learning really cool words every day....well, I am, but not off-the-wall strange ones. However, I have learned a very useful one.....BOLHA.......which means "FLEA".....yes, those things you find on your dog or cat, which make them itch like crazy. This particular word brought back memories from 12 years ago, when I first moved back to the U.S. after having spent 2 years in Hungary. I arrived at the house which two friends of mine and I had bought together 4 years earlier. One of my friends had a dog....when she left, she took the dog, but left the "bolhak".........and THEY were looking for fresh meat.....ME!!! I remember being sooooooooo tired, it being late, and I had to lug ALL my luggage back out of the house and to a friend's house for another couple of days while we de-fleaed the house. There is a great spiritual lesson in this for me and maybe for some of you as well. If we leave the bolhak in our lives to fester (sinful patterns and giving in to the flesh time and time again) and reproduce, we are going to have nothing but trouble, and we will be destructive to others as well. Allow the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to come in and clean house so that we are a blessing and the sweet aroma of Christ to those who come in.

A new day!!!

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Yesterday, I was frustrated....I was in a Hungarian language group that was WAY above my head. It's a new day!!! Now I'm in the right group; it's large, 12 of us, but this is my level. I'm being stretched, but I also know a lot.....I'm right where I should be. There are things I don't know, but some of the others in the group do know them; and visa versa. We're all in the same boat together, helping and encouraging one another. THIS is a great picture of what the church is like, when it works well. God is stretching us, and we are in it together, encouraging and helping each other to draw closer to our Lord Jesus. God never gives us more than we can handle, but always wants us to grow more and more in His grace and mercy, so that we can pour out HIS love.

Language learning

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I have a headache. After 3 hours of intensive Hungarian language learning, I had a headache. Plus 2 more hours and I still have a headache. It could be the weather, since we are experiencing the COLDEST weather, I believe, in Hungarian August history. Rain and about 50 degrees. Learning is great, and my favorite word for today is the following: szoknyavadász: skirtchaser!!!

Feeling like a criminal

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This morning, MJ and I hurried to the place where we thought a local church was meeting. When we arrived, there was no one there, as they were probably participating in a city wide event downtown. So, we decided to visit the DM, a drugstore, to pick up a few items we needed. We were the only two customers in the store, and as soon as we grabbed out shopping baskets, I noticed the in-store security guard began to pay very close attention to us. We turned down one aisle, and there he was at the other end of it, checking out every move we were making. We went to the next one, and again, there he was, eyeing our every step. I realized today that MJ and I must really look like shoplifters, or else the security guy was REALLY bored. My "introduction" to shopping in Debrecen. Following that adventure, we visited the fruit-veggie stand. As we were walking home, we found another stand, which had good looking bananas, so we stopped. The man at that stand was visibly upset that we had shopped at the stand around the corner and began to boast that his prices were much lower. He even took 29 forints off the price of the bunch of bananas to prove his point. I assured him we would come back to his stand next time...he said, "The only thing sure in life is death!" I "corrected" him and said, "And God!" He promptly responded with, "Which one?" I said, "The only True God!" So, here I embark on a new road of ministry: fruit-veggie man evangelism.

making a CD

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If any of you have every worked on making a music CD, you know the challenges. Getting everything "just right" takes TIME, concentration, energy, patience, and skill. A dear friend of mine and I are working on a CD together which will include songs sung in both English and Hungarian. The goal is that people will be encouraged in their walks with Jesus and will draw closer to Him as a result of listening. May we glorify God alone!

Healing wounds

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Everyone needs a faithful friend.....but what does that look like? In the book of Proverbs it states, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted....As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27: 5-6a, 17) It takes a true friend to dare to rebuke and correct another, but I know that these are the kinds of true friends that I want in my life. I recently received a strong rebuke from a friend, which drove me to the only place a true rebuke should: to Jesus! And as Jesus dealt with my wounded heart, and poured out His abundant love and Truth, true healing began. Are we willing to let those closest to us sharpen us, or do we take offense, bury the hurt, build the walls, and move on? If we choose the latter route, we lose; we are trying to save our lives, when Jesus clearly admonishes us to lose our lives for His sake. When we choose the former route, those wounds are healed by the Great Healer, lovingly filled with His undying love, and we are drawn closer, not only to our precious Savior, Jesus Christ, but to the friend, who loved us enough to speak the truth in love. "Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God should'st die for me?"

Precious times of worship

While walking along Hadrian's Wall in northern England, I was blessed to be with two friends! We had a blast laughing and sharing the experience of walking in a historical place. Yet, we had many times of walking in silence, and it was during those periods that I asked the Lord to drop a song into my heart so I could worship Him. What joy I found as I would be walking along and suddenly, I'd find myself humming or even singing aloud, quietly, the song the Lord had given me. It is these sweet times that the Father shows me, once again, just how intimately He loves me!

Wait! This is not what I expected!

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I tried to visit a church this morning, one which I've visited a number of times before. I was a few minutes late, and did not hear the usual praise and worship songs belting from the street-side windows. I went inside, and noticed in the room where there are usually tables set up with books and tapes, were mattresses and sleeping bags. I went into the room where the church normally meets, and a group of unfamiliar faces was sitting on the floor in a circle, still in PJs, being very silent and journaling, I think. I looked in, walked out, poked my head back in to make sure I didn't know anyone, and then turned to leave, a bit confused. That is definitely not what I expected!!! As I walked home in the sweltering heat, I asked the Lord, "So, what do we do now?" The church has obviously changed locations, at least for this week, and my morning plans had changed as well. However, the Lord brought to my heart two Truths: first, God does the unexpected, and it is always GOOD! Second, He reminded me of the Truth that He is the same, yesterday, today and forever! He is unchanging, and I can worship Him whether I'm in a church building or in my living room at home because HE is the same everywhere!!! Circumstances in our lives change; people come and go; even the weather, sweltering hot today, in 6 months will be freezing cold; but GOD NEVER CHANGES!!! Who He is, the great I AM, is the Rock upon which we can stand. And the things that Jesus did in His days on this earth are the same things He said we would do after He ascended into Heaven and poured out His Holy Spirit into our hearts. The unchanging God is in the business of changing us, sometimes unexpectedly, if we let Him, so that we are more like His Son Jesus. I am thanking God that there was no church meeting there this morning, because during my walk back home, the Lord chose to give me the "sermon" He wanted me to hear from Himself!

Church should be more like a pub!

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Oh boy, I'm sure I'll hear some responses to this one!!! Why do I think church should be more like a pub? I'll explain. I live in the heart of downtown Szeged, Hungary. As I walk out the door of my building and turn left, within 20 steps, there is a pub on my left, which I've been in only once (to look for a stray bus driver who had parked in front of our door's driveway). However, every time I go by the pub, I glance to my left to check it out. It's usually open every day, even Sundays, from early in the morning til late at night. Since I walk past this pub nearly every day, I've been thinking a lot about the significance of it, and I've been watching people come and go; so here are my observations as to why I think church should be more like a pub. First, it's open a lot! Second, the proprietor welcomes everyone! Third, everyone who goes there feels welcome! Fourth, everyone greets each other and says goodbye when they leave! Fifth, people are having "felt needs" met (by no means am I advocating alcohol consumption, but rather stating that they are looking for something, and believe they are finding it there!) Sixth, they are being "filled up". Seventh, they are finding accepting, non-judgemental fellowship and friendship. Eighth, people want to go there. Ninth, both families and singles are welcome...I even see little kids in there sometimes. Tenth, there is laughter and "good" music. Ok, ok, I know this is a stretch, but if we were to "spiritualize" all ten of the above reasons, it would be easy to see, I think, why church should be more like a pub! First, church should be open a lot. Second, people working there should welcome everyone! Third, everyone who comes in should feel welcome. Fourth, everyone should make an effort to greet those who come in and say goodbye to those who are leaving. Fifth, "felt needs" should be met....first by the Lord, but also practically speaking. Sixth, people should be "filled up" with the Gospel. Seventh, people should receive non-judgemental acceptance and love and friendship from everyone. Eighth, people should want to go to church! Ninth, ALL should be welcomed, from the old to the young, married to singles. Tenth, there should be laughter and joy in the Lord, and worship music!!!! Of course I await your comments on my Pub theology.

More swimming theology

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I really do love swimming, now; didn't like it much before, but I feel so good afterwards, that I'm growing to love it. Last night as I was doing my typical 1000 meters under the stars of Szeged, I believe the Lord impressed on my heart yet more truth. The pool where I swim is used for waterpolo matches in addition to normal lap swimming. My doctor told me I'm only allowed to swim backstroke, so as I make my way across the pool on my back, I must of course be mindful of where the end of the pool is. There are nets which are pulled across wires for the waterpolo matches, and during lap swimming the nets are pulled to the side, but the wires remain. I've figured out that when I see the wire above me, near the end of the pool, I have exactly 10 backstrokes to swim before I need to turn and touch the wall. During the daytime, these wires are easy to see, thus concentration is at a minimum because it's all "in the light" and I can easily see the wire and begin my count to 10 so that I don't slam into the wall. However, I usually swim in the evening, which turns to night; and even though there are lights over the pool, in the darkness, the wires are increasingly difficult to see. As the natural light fades, I find I must concentrate all the more "in the darkness" to see the wire above. If I miss seeing it, I grow very leery of what awaits....a slammed hand against the wall, which is not fun. Add to the mix foggy goggles, and I have a challenging situation on my hands. Last night as I swam, I began to consider what a beautiful picture this little slice of swimming pool is of life with the Lord. We are allowed to swim along freely, but we must concentrate, not on life, but on the wire, on the Lord, for HE is the focus of our lives. When we have Him as the focal point, He can keep us on the path He has set out for us, and keep us from slamming into the wall, needlessly. Sometimes, in the darkness, we have to concentrate all the more on Him and His truth; when we do, and we SEE HIM, we can boldly swim those last 10 strokes to the finish line of whatever He's called us to at that moment.

Long time no hear from!!!

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Well, for those of you who have faithfully been checking in with my blog, my humble apologies for having neglected it for 3 months now!!! Just after my last entry, ministry here in Hungary began taking off, and I was swamped, day and night!!! How to summarize? Well, the beginning of May saw a conference here in Szeged: The Father's Heart: Home for the Orphan. A dear friend of mine from Israel, Joan, led a team who came from Atlanta in ministry to MANY people from Szeged and the surrounding cities. People heard about God's great and amazing love for them and FREEDOM in Jesus!!! My life, through it all, was RADICALLY changed, and I love Jesus more than I ever thought possible!!! In mid June, another conference was held, a worship conference, which was an amazing follow-up to the May conference!!! Plus, a wonderful team from Virginia came to teach English and minister to young adults from a local children's home. In early July, Joan returned for follow-up ministry which was TOTALLY blessed. Then I and 3 friends headed to England to hike Hadrian's Wall along the border between England and Scotland! A welcome break from the heat of Hungary!!! I will give some more personal blog reflections in the next few days, but this will have to suffice for now....the broad strokes before filling in the details.

Learning curves

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I'm not an organizer. I don't like organizing. I am a big picture person and I share those pictures and visions and somehow end up being the organizer for things. Conferences, events, etc. BUT, God is stretching me....He's asking me to step out in faith and I'm learning so much that in my weakness HE is strong. I'm also learning humility and trust. We are having a big conference here in Szeged from May 4-7. The main speaker, a messianic Jew named Joan Lipis, is coming to teach and a team from a church in Atlanta is coming to help in this ministry. The ONE message that has come through all the planning and organizing and communicating amongst this team is this: "IT'S NOT ABOUT US, IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS AND LIFTING UP AND GLORIFYING HIM!" Please pray with us for this conference, for UNITY amongst the team members, for a consistent message of the love of the Father to come through, and for lives to be changed as people enter into relationship with Jesus Christ.

A day of blessings!

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Today, I got to talk with some very important people in this community......11 different pastors from various churches in the city who meet monthly to talk and pray together!!! I was invited to talk about this conference coming up in May here, "The Father's Heart". Amazingly, they all seemed open, and even more of a blessing is that they are interested in meeting with one of the pastors who is coming to help in this ministry! Another blessing came this evening at church where we have started and outreach to punk and rocker young people. Two of them showed up tonight, both from the children's home, one of whom is a believer, and the other is very interested in knowing more about God! These are dear, dear young men whom I've known for 5 years now! God is working here in Szeged, so please keep on praying!

My first singing experience in a Hungarian Wedding

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A week ago, I got a call from some friends on the worship team here in Szeged. "Arden, there is a couple getting married on Saturday at one of the Catholic Churches here in town. The guy is British and the girl is Hungarian. They want some songs sung in both English and in Hungarian. Can you help us out by coming and singing with us?" And so, we sang, in the freezing cold temps of this church, and while it seemed so RANDOM to me to be singing in the wedding of people I didn't even know, it was a great worship experience for me! The only one I had to please was Jesus, and I pray He was!