I knew that men's and women's brains were different, but the book I'm reading...see below blog posts...really fleshed some things out that I'd not considered. Helpful is an understatement when it comes to being married to one of those men whose brain is very different than mine.
The 'division' of the brain which occurs in utero in a male causes them to be more 'one-track-mind' thinkers, thus enabling them to be very focused, detailed and thorough. On the other hand, we women naturally multi-task because the two halves of our brains were not, in a sense, 'severed' from each other in the womb. The positives for women are obvious: we can accomplish a lot all at once; the negatives are that we can expend more energy and not be as focused on something as we might need to be. For me, it's not being as thorough.
The joy in rediscovering these truths is that I can love my husband more fully, understanding him and the way his brain functions, and knowing that it's different than they way mine functions, and that is a GOOD thing.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Laugh You Way to a Better Marriage
Here are a few more thoughts from this great book I am reading by Mark Gungor:
"You are going to lose in the marriage enterprise if you don't stop, drop, and roll over the fact that men and women are not equal. We may be equally valuable, but we differ in a litany of ways. If we don't recognize and adjust to those differences, our marriages will not be what God intended them to be.
When we are able to talk openly about our differences, we will learn how to actually enjoy and celebrate them. If we can't be "naked" about how different we are from each other, we will never be able to experience intimacy in our marriages. We'll just be playing roles. Conflict may come when we first start discovering and discussing our differences, but conflict eventually gives way to appreciation and celebration. When we don't give our spouse room to be himself or herself, conflict comes, too, but it comes to stay.
Remember this law the next time you hit a rough patch when your expectations are not met: Men and women are not created equal (the same). Manage your expectations and endeavor to better understand each other. Learning about each other, and accepting, celebrating, and negotiating differences are not natural practices for us. But we must learn these skills if we want to have great marriages."
"You are going to lose in the marriage enterprise if you don't stop, drop, and roll over the fact that men and women are not equal. We may be equally valuable, but we differ in a litany of ways. If we don't recognize and adjust to those differences, our marriages will not be what God intended them to be.
When we are able to talk openly about our differences, we will learn how to actually enjoy and celebrate them. If we can't be "naked" about how different we are from each other, we will never be able to experience intimacy in our marriages. We'll just be playing roles. Conflict may come when we first start discovering and discussing our differences, but conflict eventually gives way to appreciation and celebration. When we don't give our spouse room to be himself or herself, conflict comes, too, but it comes to stay.
Remember this law the next time you hit a rough patch when your expectations are not met: Men and women are not created equal (the same). Manage your expectations and endeavor to better understand each other. Learning about each other, and accepting, celebrating, and negotiating differences are not natural practices for us. But we must learn these skills if we want to have great marriages."
Monday, February 18, 2013
Quote from Martin Luther
"Faith, like light, should always be simple and unbending; while love, like warmth, should beam forth on every side, and bend to every necessity of our brethren."
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A book I am reading
Late last fall, I went to a HUGE book fair and happened to pick up a book called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor. It sat on my shelf until this past Friday night when I decided we needed to laugh more in our marriage.
After looking at the table of contents, I turned to a chapter called "What's Sex Got to Do With it?" I wish I could write out the entire chapter here. As soon as I began reading silently, I laughed, which meant I had to read it out loud to Paul as well. So, we had a fun Friday evening with me reading this chapter out loud to my husband. The further I progressed, the more "Wows" came out of each of our mouths. We both agree that every person needs to read this book, single or married, and especially young people. I want to take some time in the next few posts to share some of the author's words and let blog readers ponder them.
"There are some so uptight about this subject (sex) that they refuse to even say the word "sex"! Most pastors prefer to use the word "intimacy." I've often wondered if it's not this Pollyanna approach that is most responsible for such statistics as 50 percent of Christian men are involved in pornography; Christian teenagers having sex and getting pregnant with as much frequency as those outside the Church; adultery between Church members becoming an everyday occurrence; or sexually transmitted diseases pouring into Christian families. Maybe this is happening with greater frequency because we can't say "sex"!" (p. 144)
"The early Christian church was composed exclusively of Jews. Over time, however, those outside of Judaism (the Gentiles) outnumbered the Jews and the Church became predominantly non-Jewish. As the Church moved forward without their Jewish brothers, we lost something truly vital to understanding God's plan and meaning for marriage: we lost thousands of years of Jewish tradition in which sex was viewed as something wonderful in God's sight.
As heathens turned from their pagan ways and joined the Church, they knew sex only from the perspective of lust, debauchery, perversion, selfishness, and even violence! Heathens used sex in every sickening way of which they could conceive. When people openly repented of their sins and were baptized, sexual sins where the ones most frequently confessed. Viewing sex as something wonderful stayed with the Jews, however, and the Christian Church struggled with that concept for centuries.
History shows that the early leaders of the Church---priests and even popes---were married and had children. Early on, marriage and physical lover were viewed as good. But as time passed and the Church moved further and further away from her Jewish roots, she began to view sex as something pagan and dirty.
The negative view of sex that has percolated during most of Christian history was never part of Jewish thought."
I won't go on, but trust me, Mark Gungor fleshes out his writing with hits and humor that bring to light the realities of how we have been duped in our thinking about the different aspects of marriage, AND how our Jewish roots shed much light on how things really should be done. I look forward to more fun evenings of laughing our way to a better marriage!
After looking at the table of contents, I turned to a chapter called "What's Sex Got to Do With it?" I wish I could write out the entire chapter here. As soon as I began reading silently, I laughed, which meant I had to read it out loud to Paul as well. So, we had a fun Friday evening with me reading this chapter out loud to my husband. The further I progressed, the more "Wows" came out of each of our mouths. We both agree that every person needs to read this book, single or married, and especially young people. I want to take some time in the next few posts to share some of the author's words and let blog readers ponder them.
"There are some so uptight about this subject (sex) that they refuse to even say the word "sex"! Most pastors prefer to use the word "intimacy." I've often wondered if it's not this Pollyanna approach that is most responsible for such statistics as 50 percent of Christian men are involved in pornography; Christian teenagers having sex and getting pregnant with as much frequency as those outside the Church; adultery between Church members becoming an everyday occurrence; or sexually transmitted diseases pouring into Christian families. Maybe this is happening with greater frequency because we can't say "sex"!" (p. 144)
"The early Christian church was composed exclusively of Jews. Over time, however, those outside of Judaism (the Gentiles) outnumbered the Jews and the Church became predominantly non-Jewish. As the Church moved forward without their Jewish brothers, we lost something truly vital to understanding God's plan and meaning for marriage: we lost thousands of years of Jewish tradition in which sex was viewed as something wonderful in God's sight.
As heathens turned from their pagan ways and joined the Church, they knew sex only from the perspective of lust, debauchery, perversion, selfishness, and even violence! Heathens used sex in every sickening way of which they could conceive. When people openly repented of their sins and were baptized, sexual sins where the ones most frequently confessed. Viewing sex as something wonderful stayed with the Jews, however, and the Christian Church struggled with that concept for centuries.
History shows that the early leaders of the Church---priests and even popes---were married and had children. Early on, marriage and physical lover were viewed as good. But as time passed and the Church moved further and further away from her Jewish roots, she began to view sex as something pagan and dirty.
The negative view of sex that has percolated during most of Christian history was never part of Jewish thought."
I won't go on, but trust me, Mark Gungor fleshes out his writing with hits and humor that bring to light the realities of how we have been duped in our thinking about the different aspects of marriage, AND how our Jewish roots shed much light on how things really should be done. I look forward to more fun evenings of laughing our way to a better marriage!
Thursday, February 07, 2013
The state of education
My hubby texted me yesterday afternoon telling me that three of his fourth graders had been suspended.
These are 10 year olds.
One was suspended for popping a classmate in the head.
Two were suspended for bullying.
Last week, another fourth grader was suspended....he's now been suspended twice since the 3rd of January.
Apparently, there are other students in this elementary school being suspended as well. It's about time. The school just got a new administrator who is not afraid to lower the boon on these kids and their unacceptable behavior which is keeping teachers from teaching and other students from learning.
As we were driving out to an appointment last night, I asked Paul if he had EVER been suspended from school. Neither one of us was....EVER. And here he is facing 10 year olds who NEED to be suspended...and the stories continue...first graders punching teachers in the eye, a second grader dislocating the shoulder of a teacher.
And then teachers are told that they need to be kind, loving and gentle with these kids, building their self-esteem. We are seeing the results of the "feel-good" approach to education.
As I told Paul last night, I lived in a good fear of my parents, the administration of the school and I respected my teachers too much to be disrespectful. It breaks my heart to hear stories like I get to hear now every day. I completely understand why more and more families are choosing homeschooling...I sure would!
These are 10 year olds.
One was suspended for popping a classmate in the head.
Two were suspended for bullying.
Last week, another fourth grader was suspended....he's now been suspended twice since the 3rd of January.
Apparently, there are other students in this elementary school being suspended as well. It's about time. The school just got a new administrator who is not afraid to lower the boon on these kids and their unacceptable behavior which is keeping teachers from teaching and other students from learning.
As we were driving out to an appointment last night, I asked Paul if he had EVER been suspended from school. Neither one of us was....EVER. And here he is facing 10 year olds who NEED to be suspended...and the stories continue...first graders punching teachers in the eye, a second grader dislocating the shoulder of a teacher.
And then teachers are told that they need to be kind, loving and gentle with these kids, building their self-esteem. We are seeing the results of the "feel-good" approach to education.
As I told Paul last night, I lived in a good fear of my parents, the administration of the school and I respected my teachers too much to be disrespectful. It breaks my heart to hear stories like I get to hear now every day. I completely understand why more and more families are choosing homeschooling...I sure would!
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
More reasons NOT to watch TV
I mostly work from home as a writing coach and editor, and I have two businesses online. Today, I decided that, while I ate my quick lunch, I would turn on the TV just to see if there was anything worth watching at 1 p.m. on a weekday.
I am further down the road now of beginning to understand why our nation is where it is spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. First I found the Ricki Lake (?) show, and as I munched on my chicken salad and crackers, I listened as a woman who had lost her husband to death sat with a medium who talks with the dead, engage in the witchcraft of speaking with the dead. One of the most disturbing things to me was watching the medium as she scribbled on her legal pad of paper these boxes and chaotic looking things and then she would "relay" what the dead husband was communicating to his wife. I could literally feel the demonic spirits being released into the atmosphere in that tv studio and over the airwaves. The thing that amazed me, but did not surprise me, is how hungry the widow was as well as the people in the audience to 'connect' with the spiritual realm. They don't even know that they are messing in the demonic realm because the enemy has so deceived people into thinking that whatever feels right or good is perfectly fine to engage in. There is ZERO understanding of the kingdom of darkness because we now live in an age when darkness is considered light and true light is considered to be darkness.
I supposed what was disturbing to me is that this kind of stuff used to be relegated to the side-show of a travelling circus and was engaged in in secret, but now it is wide-spread, accepted and even acceptable by the masses without question or concern about what is really BEHIND this medium's abilities. Her prophetic gifts are given by the Lord, but she is using them for the kingdom of darkness and under its influence and thus infecting and inflicting the talons of the enemy of our souls on myriads of people who lack the spiritual discernment and knowledge of the Truth.
Changing the channel, I hoped to find something a bit less overtly demonic and found the show "The Talk". There are about 6 women who sit around a table with coffee mugs and talk. I turned it on just in time to see them cutting to a David Letterman clip where he makes fun of Chris Christy and his obesity. As they returned to the "talk table", I was completely astonished to watch one of the women, clearly overweight, "jokingly" stuffing a donut into her mouth while everyone laughed and talked about how great it is that Mr. Christy is just fine with his obesity and how the most important thing is that someone be satisfied with themselves no matter what they look like or how large they are! My mouth nearly dropped when woman after woman agreed that if an individual is satisfied with him or herself being overweight, then it's good that they can make fun of themselves and just be satisfied with their bodies.
HELLO??? Do we have a health crisis in this nation with an obesity epidemic and health care costs going through the roof partly as a result of people not eating healthy foods, not exercising, not caring about their weight and therefore opening up their lives, bodies and our entire society to monumental health crisis issues???
As I watched, I saw a veil over each of these ladies eyes as the god of this age has blinded them to the destructiveness of our own personal choices to live unhealthy lives that are literally costing all of us millions in tax dollars, millions in lost income due to illnesses, and millions in lives lost due to premature deaths. The enemy surely is out to steal, kill and destroy, and blind the minds of unbelievers, and these ladies are living proof that this nation is in a crisis of unprecedented proportions!
We are so deceived. We have given in to the spirit of the age and justified ourselves under the lying veil of "tolerance", thus bringing upon ourselves, our children, our families and our communities sickness, deception, lies, disease, and eventually, death. And we want to call this way of thinking LIFE?
After just 10 minutes, I turned my TV off. Enough lies, filth, and worldly influence flowed out of that object today to last me a lifetime. What is sad to me is that there are thousands if not millions of people watching those shows and feeding on the refuse that is being propagated, slowly but surely playing right into the enemies' hands.
I realize this is one of the harshest and most negative blog entries I have ever written. Part of this is simply processing for me, especially after having been what I call 'slimed'. I do know this....I am not missing a thing by not watching these particular shows on TV...along with many others like them; in fact, my life is RICHER and HEALTHIER because I am choosing to meditate on those things which are true, good, wholesome, life-giving, and hopeful. I will continue to spend my time on that which gives THESE GOOD FRUITS rather than the rottenness so prevalent today.
God help us!
I am further down the road now of beginning to understand why our nation is where it is spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. First I found the Ricki Lake (?) show, and as I munched on my chicken salad and crackers, I listened as a woman who had lost her husband to death sat with a medium who talks with the dead, engage in the witchcraft of speaking with the dead. One of the most disturbing things to me was watching the medium as she scribbled on her legal pad of paper these boxes and chaotic looking things and then she would "relay" what the dead husband was communicating to his wife. I could literally feel the demonic spirits being released into the atmosphere in that tv studio and over the airwaves. The thing that amazed me, but did not surprise me, is how hungry the widow was as well as the people in the audience to 'connect' with the spiritual realm. They don't even know that they are messing in the demonic realm because the enemy has so deceived people into thinking that whatever feels right or good is perfectly fine to engage in. There is ZERO understanding of the kingdom of darkness because we now live in an age when darkness is considered light and true light is considered to be darkness.
I supposed what was disturbing to me is that this kind of stuff used to be relegated to the side-show of a travelling circus and was engaged in in secret, but now it is wide-spread, accepted and even acceptable by the masses without question or concern about what is really BEHIND this medium's abilities. Her prophetic gifts are given by the Lord, but she is using them for the kingdom of darkness and under its influence and thus infecting and inflicting the talons of the enemy of our souls on myriads of people who lack the spiritual discernment and knowledge of the Truth.
Changing the channel, I hoped to find something a bit less overtly demonic and found the show "The Talk". There are about 6 women who sit around a table with coffee mugs and talk. I turned it on just in time to see them cutting to a David Letterman clip where he makes fun of Chris Christy and his obesity. As they returned to the "talk table", I was completely astonished to watch one of the women, clearly overweight, "jokingly" stuffing a donut into her mouth while everyone laughed and talked about how great it is that Mr. Christy is just fine with his obesity and how the most important thing is that someone be satisfied with themselves no matter what they look like or how large they are! My mouth nearly dropped when woman after woman agreed that if an individual is satisfied with him or herself being overweight, then it's good that they can make fun of themselves and just be satisfied with their bodies.
HELLO??? Do we have a health crisis in this nation with an obesity epidemic and health care costs going through the roof partly as a result of people not eating healthy foods, not exercising, not caring about their weight and therefore opening up their lives, bodies and our entire society to monumental health crisis issues???
As I watched, I saw a veil over each of these ladies eyes as the god of this age has blinded them to the destructiveness of our own personal choices to live unhealthy lives that are literally costing all of us millions in tax dollars, millions in lost income due to illnesses, and millions in lives lost due to premature deaths. The enemy surely is out to steal, kill and destroy, and blind the minds of unbelievers, and these ladies are living proof that this nation is in a crisis of unprecedented proportions!
We are so deceived. We have given in to the spirit of the age and justified ourselves under the lying veil of "tolerance", thus bringing upon ourselves, our children, our families and our communities sickness, deception, lies, disease, and eventually, death. And we want to call this way of thinking LIFE?
After just 10 minutes, I turned my TV off. Enough lies, filth, and worldly influence flowed out of that object today to last me a lifetime. What is sad to me is that there are thousands if not millions of people watching those shows and feeding on the refuse that is being propagated, slowly but surely playing right into the enemies' hands.
I realize this is one of the harshest and most negative blog entries I have ever written. Part of this is simply processing for me, especially after having been what I call 'slimed'. I do know this....I am not missing a thing by not watching these particular shows on TV...along with many others like them; in fact, my life is RICHER and HEALTHIER because I am choosing to meditate on those things which are true, good, wholesome, life-giving, and hopeful. I will continue to spend my time on that which gives THESE GOOD FRUITS rather than the rottenness so prevalent today.
God help us!
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