For my 12c,d,g class

Hello Andras, Angela, Katinka, Trixi, Marietta and Gabor!!! You see, I told you I'd written about you on my blog!!! :-) In all seriousness, this is a wonderful class of seniors, who are having to work hard to prepare for their final exams in May and June, and I always look forward to Monday afternoons when we can have conversation class together!!! There are some classes I truly look forward to, and other classes that, well, are a bit more challenging....but ALL have precious children of God in them who deserve to be loved! So, to my 12c,d,g class, I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy reading my blog from time to time! Study hard, and do your English homework: speak English!!! www.ceokids.org

On friends and friendship

These are very interesting days for me, during which I'm so "spent" that I all I can "handle" is receiving from God and from others. This is a strange place for me to be, a giver at heart, and a good place. I'm learning much about friends and friendship, "safe" friends and those who aren't so "safe". I'm learning anew about the "Friend who sticks closer than a (sister)" who meets every need, no matter what, totally and completely, without fail.

Most Hungarians have very few what they would call "friends". They have many acquaintances......most Americans, myself included, would say I've got lots and lots of friends.....and lots of acquaintances too. Hungarians would not call someone they've not spoken to in 6 months a friend, however; whereas an American probably would still call that person "friend."

A very important lesson I'm learning is that receiving from friends is just as important and significant as giving to friends....this seems like a 'no-brainer', but for how many of us is it much easier to give than it is to receive? To receive means opening up the heart, being vulnerable beyond the 'norm', and trusting in new ways. It means walking in unchartered territory sometimes...being willing to be seen for who you really are, and be loved and totally accepted in that state, and even cherished and missed! This is how God sees us....and He adores us....beyond what we could ever comprehend or imagine! It's really cool when He gives us that kind of a friend on earth as well, to be a tangible picture of Himself. www.ceokids.org

Poem

"This day is Your gift to me;
I take it, Lord, from Your hand
and I thank You for the wonder of it.

God be with me
in this Your day,
every day
and every way,
with me and for me
in this Your day;
and the love
and the affection
of heaven be toward me.

All that I am, Lord,
I place into Your hands.
All that I do, Lord,
I place into Your hands.

Everything I work for
I place into Your hands.
Everything I hope for
I place into Your hands.
The troubles that weary me
I place into Your hands.
The thoughts that disturb me
I place into Your hands.
Each that I pray for
I place into your hands.
Each that I care for
I place into Your hands.

I place into Your hands, Lord,
the choices that I face.
Guard me from choosing the way perilous
of which the end is heart-pain
and the secret tear.

Rich in counsel, show us the way
that is plain and safe.

May I feel Your presence at the heart of my desire,
and so know it for Your desire for me.
Thus shall I prosper,
thus see that my prupose is from You,
thus have power to do the good which endures.

Show me what blessing it is
that I have work to do.
And sometimes, and most of all
when the day is overcast
and my courage faints,
let me hear Your voice, saying,
'You are my beloved one
in whom I am well pleased.'

Stand at the crossroads and look,
ask for the ancient paths,
and where the good way is,
and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.

In the name of Christ we stand,
and in His name
move across the land
in fearfulness and blessing.

To gather the Kingdom to the King
and claim this land for God;
a task indeed.

Give us to see Your will,
and power to walk in its path;
and lo! the night is routed and gone.

Lord, hasten the day
when those who fear You in every nation
will come from east and west,
from north and south,
and sit at table in Your Kingdom.
And, Lord,
let Your glory be seen in our land.

He has shown you, O man, what is right;
and what does the Lord require of you,
but to do justly, and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Keep me close to You, Lord.
Keep me close to You.
I lift my hands to You, Lord,
I lift them up to You.
Hands, Lord, Your gifts to us,
we stretch them up to You.
Always You hold them.

Help me find happiness
in my acceptance
of what is Your purpose for me:
in friendly eyes, in work well done,
in quietness born of trust,
and, most of all,
in the awareness of your presence
in my Spirit.
Oswald of Northumbria (605-642)

Windows on the World

You know, the older I get, the more I realize that each of us can look at the picture to the left, and while we see and probably describe nearly the same thing, we may do it in a different order, using a variety of vocabulary, and definitely a multitude of languages; more importantly is FROM where we are describing it. That perspective determines HOW we see what we see. Is this a picture of beauty? Or is it one of being "trapped", and looking out from some sort of cage? Is it looking out to freedom? Or out into the unknown?

More Swimming lessons

I got to swim today.........even though it is MINUS 7 degrees celcius outside......the pool is under a dome, so it's not so cold inside. Just before Christmas, I bought new swim goggles because my old ones were leaking and fogging up after 50 meters. Of course I thought, "Ok, I've got new goggles so I won't have any problems now." Well, about the third time out with the goggles, I noticed that after about 400 meters, they began fogging up. I got irritated, thinking, "I spent a lot of money on these goggles and look, they are fogging up....what a pain!!!" Then the thoughts started, "Why can't someone make fog-free goggles? What am I doing wrong that they are fogging up? I followed all the directions....I don't get it??!!!" Today, as I swam, they were foggy after 400 meters and I had to stop and lick the insides and rinse them out, after which I could again see clearly. However, today, the Lord gave me a new perspective on goggles. After about 400 meters, I need to have a short rest; I need to stretch a bit more before I continue. The foggy goggles give me that rest and that chance to stretch, in order to complete the last 600 meters strong, without injury, and with "seeing clearly." It's a "rest time"; necessary rest. That's where I am in life right now too. I'm in a "necessary rest" time......except that I've swum about 10,000 meters before taking a rest, so I really need to clean the goggles and stretch. I simply cannot go on without clean goggles, which, actually, I have to let the Lord clean because I cannot, they are simply too foggy. I'm hanging on to the end of the pool, trying to stretch too, and He is buoying me up, big time, not just so that I can simply catch my breath and swim on, but rather receive full restoration so that I can FINISH strong. Ultimately, it is not ME finishing, it is Christ IN me, living through me, but I've got to stop swimming myself and let Him do it. www.ceokids.org

Teaching challenges

This is my 16th year of teaching. You would think that nothing could rattle me....well, not much does anymore, but two things happened today in one class of 8 students, 11th graders, which reminded me that I need the Lord's patience every moment. First, I closed the door to the classroom after the students had come in. One kid said, "Oh Peter is still outside. He's in the bufe." I shut the door anyway and proceeded to start class. Peter shows up 10 minutes later; "Where were you Peter?" "Oh, I was in the bufe, and I had to stand in a long line, and I was buying things for like 4 other people." I just smiled and let it go. We then proceeded into the lesson, having already reviewed without Peter, and I asked them to take out their notebooks. Peter asks his classmate for paper and a pen......for 2 months now, Peter has not had a notebook or pen for my lesson. Today was the last straw. "Peter, you are, once again, unprepared for this lesson. Goodbye!" He gathered his jacket and left the class, with my warning not to come back to my class without a notebook and pen. We'll see....... So we proceed to talk about character and personality words. "Ok, who can spell the word 'extrovert' for me?" Angela raises her hand, "Extravert". "Actually, it's spelled with an "O" not an "A", Angela." "No, I looked it up in the dictionary and it can be spelled either way." Now I know this is not correct, but with Angela, one simply cannot argue...the past two months have been nothing but a boxing match with her over what is correct in English and what is not.......so I let her continue on in her bliss of thinking we can spell extrovert with an "a", and moved on with the lesson. These two examples show me just how difficult it is to demonstrate the love of a heavenly Father to high school kids.....what is the balance between discipline and correction and grace, all the while allowing His love to flow through instead of my flesh to rage to the surface? Ah, the challenges of teaching..........

Babies and God

ceo for the kids
I finally got together with a friend yesterday who gave birth to her first baby girl, Luca (pronounced "Loot-sah") back in early November. Baby and mom are doing well and are the typical picture of joy and love that should be true between a mom and her little girl. A. has faith, but I don't know exactly where she is with Jesus....He knows, and each time we get together, it seems God opens the door for conversations about Him! Yesterday was no different! As I watched A. and Luca together, I asked A. if she would ever want anything but the very best for her daughter....would she ever want to see her child hurt, in pain, or needing something? "Of course not!" Was A.'s response. The conversation continued and I said, "You know, isn't it funny how some people's perceptions of God are so twisted these days. They see God as a cosmic "kill-joy", as one who doesn't have their best interest in mind, etc. But if God really is God, then doesn't He too want to love on us, kiss us, hold us, give us everything we could ever need, protect us, encourage us, and be the loving daddy that He truly is?" A. responded, "Yea, that is the way we should understand God." What a challenge to all of us.....right before me is a beautiful picture of a mom POURING out her love to her daughter.....the human rendition of God's amazing love and grace extended to each one of us. Do we see Him this way? His Word is Truth............

Stereotypes

One of the topics I get to teach at school is stereotypes.....of Americans......and I want to share with you some of the things my students have said are "stereotypically" American. "Americans are not very intelligent." "Americans are fat." "Americans eat fast food all the time." "Americans are rich." "Americans want to dominate the world." "Americans are ignorant about other countries in the world." Well, you can imagine some of the interesting discussions we have centered around a number of these stereotypes. Regarding being fat, I ask them, "So, do you think I'm fat? What about Mr. P. (a colleague from last year)? Or what about Mr. D.? How about the Fulbright teacher Ms. H.?" I love their responses, "Well, no, you guys aren't fat." Then I ask, "Well, how many Americans do you know?" "Well, just you. But we see it in the movies and they are fat!" "Ok, what movies?" "You know that movie, "Super-Size Me"?" Then I have to chuckle a bit.....of course they know these are just stereotypes. Or do they? But I got to thinking about conversations like this, and how this kind of thinking, in general, overflows into our perception of God....into THEIR perceptions of God. I've asked some students when we've talked about religion, what their perceptions of God are. "Mean." "Totally loving." "Someone who wants to make us do stuff that's not fun." "Boring." "Irrelevant." "Like a big grandpa in the sky." Most of my students' perceptions of Americans are based on movies or TV programs. What are their perceptions of God based on? This hit me like a bolt of lightning because Jesus has sent US out into the world to be salt and light, to be living examples of people who have been born again, to put it into teenager terms, to be a "movie" about God's love and grace and mercy. When people look at me, do they see the "stereotype"? Or do they see Christ in me, life, truth and the way? Food for thought for all of us.

More babies!!!!

A week ago, another dear friend gave birth to her third child, a little boy whose name is Adam! I've not yet gotten to see little Adam because they don't let you in to see the babies here in Hungary. Mom and baby are now home, and the "interesting" sleep patterns have begun....dad is one of my colleagues at school, and yesterday, he was looking a bit rough. "How's it going?" I asked. "I got about 3 hours of sleep last night! Adam is crying and hungry and his tummy hurts." This exhausted daddy has also fallen in love with his second little boy. I'm so glad our heavenly father never tires of us when our tummys hurt or we are crying....he loves us unconditionally.

Bori's Baby girl, Bori

On Tuesday of this past week, I finally got to see my precious friend Bori's baby girl, Bori!!! They were at the children's hospital because baby Bori had been ill. When I walked in the room, a smiling little bundle of joy looked up at me and broke into a HUGE grin, arms and legs showing the excitement of yet another visitor!!! This precious miracle had quite obviously gotten over her illness, thank the Lord! One noteable "feature" on little Bori is her "Spock-like" ears......I asked Bori about it, and she said that in neither her family nor in Attila's family is there anyone with these "pointy" ears. It almost looks like someone, in the developing process in the womb, pinched each ear a bit and created this "Spock" pointy-ness. It's not huge or ugly, just very unique. Immediately, I said, "You know what Bori, I think that God sent His angel into your womb to grab hold of Bori's ears and "claim" little Bori for God's kingdom! These little ears are His mark on Bori, that she is HIS! There certainly were enough people praying for this little one, and He most definitely loves Bori, even more than you do!" Bori smiled hugely and acknowledged God's great love for both of them. God is so good at giving us His unique "markings", which are a continual reminder that ultimately, we belong to Him. May BOTH Bori's and Attila come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord! www.ceokids.org

Swimming lesson #3,427

I always seem to learn something when I go swimming! Last night, after jumping in and getting into my typical backstroke, I was cruising along, keeping my eye out for the wire that "warns" me that 10 strokes later, I need to turn before slamming into the wall. As I swam, I thought, "Gee, I'm really out of shape because this is taking me FOREVER to get to the other end of the pool," when SLAM......my right wrist slammed onto the end of the pool and I smashed my head against the wall. (Luckily, not too hard!) Pain shot through my wrist and arm, but upon moving it, I was sure I had not broken it. A bit embarrassed as the guys in the lane next to me looked at me as I gathered myself together, I immediately started back up the lane again. I thought to myself, "Is the wire above the pool at the other end? I need to pay close attention!" It was.....and 10 strokes after the wire, I flipped over (I always swim backstroke) and took my one stroke toward the wall. What is the lesson I gleaned from the "missing wire"? I began thinking about the "wires" in our lives as Christians....the markers....and of course, the most important one is the Word of God. If we are not immersed in the Word of God, asking the Holy Spirit to guide and direct our thoughts and reveal His Truths to us through the Word, then we are bound to SLAM into the wall, and get bruised, or worse. Take away the guidelines of Truth, and we are left guessing where we are, where the dangers are, where we are going, and what will it be like when we get there. Thank you Father, for this vital lesson. I need your Truth, every day, every moment, at every turn, in order to make every decision, so that I don't slam into the wall and break something. www.ceokids.org

Out of the fiery furnace

Last night I had a difficult phone call with a friend. My purely emotional reaction was hurt, betrayal and a profound sense of sadness. I went to bed, hoping a good night's sleep would be restorative. I awakened, wide awake, at 2:30 a.m., heavy-hearted. I wanted to talk to someone, to have someone to pray for me, when the Lord gently reminded me that I could come directly to Him.....duh!!! As I prayed, I asked God to give me SOMETHING from His Word. He said, "Daniel 3, especially verses 24-25." I turned on the light and opened my Bible, wondering what Daniel 3 had to do with anything. I began reading the whole chapter, and when I reached verse 24 where Nebudchadnezzar "leaps up" and sees not THREE men in the fiery furnace but FOUR, and the fourth looks like a "son of the gods," tears nearly leapt from my eyes; the Lord gently said, "I am with you in YOUR fiery furnace right now." I bawled and bawled, confessing my sin, repenting for not believing that indeed God willingly walks into the fiery furnace He's allowed us to be "tossed into", and it's out of the fiery furnace that He is bringing forth His purified gold! If that wasn't enough, after just 4 hours of sleep, I went into school with such a renewed love and compassion for my students, and teaching today was such joy! After school, I took some trousers to the seamstress across the street from my flat and the Lord opened the door for me to tell her about how much Jesus loves her! Finally, tonight I got to hear the story from a dear friend of mine who shared how she was suffering terribly from an inner ear inflammation and when she asked the Lord to show her if there was anything in her life she needed to deal with, and He said, "Yes, you are full of envy!" Immediately, the Lord showed her her enviousness and she began confessing and repenting, and just as immediately, the horrible pain and inflammation started to subside, very rapidly, along with another 7 month excruciatingly painful physical problem. Out of the fiery furnace, God brings forth His gold, which He is refining for His glory. Are we willing to forsake all, worship Him alone, risk being thrown bound into the fiery furnace? We can be if we see God for who He really is....one who is IN the fiery furnace with us, bringing us out, and continuing to do His refining work in and through us in the lives of the ones He loves!!! www.ceokids.org

Have we really died?

I did something I often do here....I went out to eat alone, bringing a book along with me. I was struck by the following quote in "The Transformation of the Inner Man" by John and Paula Sandford. "I was to see in those seven years of suffering that the Holy Spirit does not intend to improve us or make us better and better! He intends to bring us to fullness of death and make us new.....If, on this side of mankind's ultimate perfection, the Holy Spirit were to so transform any area of a man's flesh that he could always rely on that dimension of his character, that man would inevitably cease to lean on Jesus and begin to trust in his own flesh. His perfection would thus have to be total, or he could not escape the corruption of pride." I have a friend, who will go unnamed, whose answer to the question, "How are you doing?" is often, getting better and better. I often wondered why that answer disturbed me. This same friend would say, "I gotta keep getting better!" I always cringed when he would say this; and Sandford's words above now help me understand more clearly, my continual cringing around this friend. We cannot get better.....we need to die. Only in dying is Jesus manifested in us. Our strivings to become better and better are fruitless attempts at trying to have a part in our own holiness. The only part we can play is dying, because it is God who transforms death into His life! www.ceokids.org

New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!!! It's been a while since I've blogged....after a sort of whirlwind visit to the U.S. to see family and friends, I'm back in cold Szeged, Hungary, ready to start 2006! A year of promise lies ahead.......promise of great hope and life! May we embrace all the Lord has for us and is calling us to in this year!