Another cultural lesson

I dragged myself out of bed this morning to go swimming. At this point, after having lived here a full 5 years, you would think that nothing in the culture would "disturb" me anymore....well, I am having to relearn yet another cultural lesson which I've encountered many times, but this morning, it was very pronounced. In the locker room, there are about 12 different benches on which people can set their bags and change clothes, etc. After swimming, I fetched my bag from the small room where the "neni" (slang for woman, sort of) keeps an eye on everyone's belongings. I made my way to the bigger changing room and laid claim to the first bench, which was empty. I went in to take my shower, and when I came back and was drying off, a woman came in and proceeded to put her bag down on the bench right next to my stuff. Ok, fine, the bench is plenty big enough for two people; however, I looked up, and there were about 5 benches, completely free and unused by anyone. I shrugged it off, thinking, "well, she didn't want to walk any further than the first bench." So, she finishes changing to go swim, takes her bag to the "neni's" room, and I continue to get dressed. A moment later, another woman walks in....and where does she set her bag? You got it, on my bench.....by this time, there are 7 free benches in the room...."Why does this woman have to crowd my space? Why can't she find her own bench and BOTH of us will have plenty of room?" I kept these thoughts to myself. I went to blow dry my hair and when I returned to "my bench", that woman had left and ANOTHER woman had come in and, yep, she'd dropped her stuff on my bench!!! I looked across the room and counted: 8 FREE BENCHES!!!! It was at that moment that the cultural differences came crashing through....we Americans love and value our space. If this was a locker room in America, the first woman would have come in and at the very least would have put her bag on the second bench, near me, but not ON my bench. Most probably, she would have gone even further away, to give us each some space. Some Americans would even go to the furthest bench away. So here is my conclusion about Hungarians....under communism and socialism, they were taught to "fall in line". You don't "find your own personal space"; instead you go to the first space next to the person who is already there and "set up camp". I realized I'm still very American.......I wanted to be able to spread out....to have my own bench......anyway, there are plenty of other benches, and these other women could have plenty of space too. Rule 2 hit home once again: "It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different."

Being blessed by saying "No"

Some folks from Zion Church organized a "sports day" in the park across the river yesterday afternoon. Those of you who know me well are thinking, "this is right up Arden's alley....of COURSE she will be there in the middle of it all!!!" Indeed, I went, but once I got there, and realized a dear friend of mine was not there....her kids and husband were there....my zest for sports waned, and I decided to spend the time in what I would consider a "more productive" way....for me at least. I said my hellos and goodbyes to those about to embark on hours of sport competition, and made my way back to my friend's flat, where we enjoyed the afternoon on her balcony getting caught up on our summers. What a treasure that time was for me, and I think for her as well. I'm sure the sports day was great, building relationships with folks, but God has me in a place of nurturing relationships rather than starting and building. And in nurturing, it means at times saying "no" to what I might naturally like to do....play sports....and "yes" to more intimate time one-on-one with a friend. I truly didn't miss playing sports yesterday....what a good God we have to bless us when we say "no". www.ceokids.org

Calm in the midst of chaos

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I like visiting Budapest....not often, but every so often, it is fun to go to "the big city" and take in the hustle and bustle of the capital, especially since I know I can always hop the train out of there! Yesterday, I met a friend for coffee, and then, while waiting for my train back to Szeged, I decided that instead of hanging out in the Mc
Donald's at the train station, I would go to Margit Island....a gorgeous, idyllic place situated in the middle of the Danube river, overrun with people, but somehow, more peaceful than the bustling streets of Pest. I found myself a quiet place right next to the river, overlooking the Pest side of the city and near enough to hear the lapping of the water on the shoreline. I got comfy, pulled out my book, read for about 10 minutes and promptly fell asleep with the soft drones of cars, trams and busses in the background and more importantly, the quiet lapping of the water below me. I had set my alarm, knowing I didn't want to "worry" about making my train, and so rested fitfully for about 40 minutes while joggers went by just behind me on the path, boats and barges made their way up and down the river in front of me, and the breeze blew through the trees above me. A perfect picture of what our lives can be like in the midst of the chaotic world we sometimes find ourselves in.....calmly resting in the Father's arms, allowing Him to pour His lapping love over us as we rest with the chaos passing us by. I missed nothing, and gained everything in those minutes by the river. www.ceokids.org

Learning how to listen

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I'm getting back in the teaching saddle next week. We had our first teacher's staff meeting yesterday, and I understood 90%. Guess that's a pretty cool testimony to God's faithfulness in helping me with this language. As I approach a new year with lots and lots of "activities" already on the agenda, and a new person trying to pull me into his/her world and agenda, I'm realizing the tremendous need I will have this year in learning how to say a very simple word: "No". I'm excited to have 14 groups of students.......most teachers would freak out at that number as it means over 200 students again. I have 5 classes of seniors, 4 juniors 3 sophomores, and 2 freshman groups. Most classes are "one-shot deals"......I have one chance per week to love on kids who desperately need to see the love of Jesus lived out before them. Lord, show me mercy and give me grace to love as You love, to see them as You see them, to hear the cries of these kids as You hear them, and to set before them one hope: Jesus Christ. To read more about loving kids through teaching, go to this link and enjoy!

Hungarian

I just got back from a 2-week intensive Hungarian language course. You would think that I would have lots of confidence; however, I'm now terrified to open my mouth. "I should know how to say this correctly grammatically....but I'm not sure, so I'll just speak English." NOT a good place to be...wondering "what others think." One thing I did conclude after the two weeks is that this is a very challenging language, and most of my Hungarian friends tell me that even THEY don't know the Hungarian grammar! God reminded me, however, that HE knows this language perfectly, and He will help me learn it!

Weekend fun!

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About 150 of us boarded 3 buses to 3 different small towns here in Hungary on Saturday to experience museums, castles, wine-tasting, and food. As I sat on one bus with so many different nationalities, I just had to smile that here we all are communicating in Hungarian with one another....Germans, Americans, Austrians, Hungarians, Italians, Spaniards, French, Israelis......and resisting the temptation to break into our mother tongues with each other. I once heard a good joke: What language will we speak in Heaven? Answer: Hungarian, because it will take an eternity to learn it!
I'm definitely feeling that way starting this second week of intensive language classes; the vocabulary list grows, the grammar gets increasingly challenging, and when I open my mouth, I feel like I cannot speak a single sentence in Hungarian well or grammatically correct. But at the weekend, we had such fun trying to talk with each other, and correcting each others' Hungarian, showing lots of grace to one another. If nothing else from these two weeks, I've learned how some of my students feel, and I know it will affect my teaching when I go back to Szeged and start the new school year. Patience needs to be my middle name!

Word of the day!

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I wish I could say that I am learning really cool words every day....well, I am, but not off-the-wall strange ones. However, I have learned a very useful one.....BOLHA.......which means "FLEA".....yes, those things you find on your dog or cat, which make them itch like crazy. This particular word brought back memories from 12 years ago, when I first moved back to the U.S. after having spent 2 years in Hungary. I arrived at the house which two friends of mine and I had bought together 4 years earlier. One of my friends had a dog....when she left, she took the dog, but left the "bolhak".........and THEY were looking for fresh meat.....ME!!! I remember being sooooooooo tired, it being late, and I had to lug ALL my luggage back out of the house and to a friend's house for another couple of days while we de-fleaed the house. There is a great spiritual lesson in this for me and maybe for some of you as well. If we leave the bolhak in our lives to fester (sinful patterns and giving in to the flesh time and time again) and reproduce, we are going to have nothing but trouble, and we will be destructive to others as well. Allow the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to come in and clean house so that we are a blessing and the sweet aroma of Christ to those who come in.

A new day!!!

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Yesterday, I was frustrated....I was in a Hungarian language group that was WAY above my head. It's a new day!!! Now I'm in the right group; it's large, 12 of us, but this is my level. I'm being stretched, but I also know a lot.....I'm right where I should be. There are things I don't know, but some of the others in the group do know them; and visa versa. We're all in the same boat together, helping and encouraging one another. THIS is a great picture of what the church is like, when it works well. God is stretching us, and we are in it together, encouraging and helping each other to draw closer to our Lord Jesus. God never gives us more than we can handle, but always wants us to grow more and more in His grace and mercy, so that we can pour out HIS love.

Language learning

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I have a headache. After 3 hours of intensive Hungarian language learning, I had a headache. Plus 2 more hours and I still have a headache. It could be the weather, since we are experiencing the COLDEST weather, I believe, in Hungarian August history. Rain and about 50 degrees. Learning is great, and my favorite word for today is the following: szoknyavadász: skirtchaser!!!

Feeling like a criminal

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This morning, MJ and I hurried to the place where we thought a local church was meeting. When we arrived, there was no one there, as they were probably participating in a city wide event downtown. So, we decided to visit the DM, a drugstore, to pick up a few items we needed. We were the only two customers in the store, and as soon as we grabbed out shopping baskets, I noticed the in-store security guard began to pay very close attention to us. We turned down one aisle, and there he was at the other end of it, checking out every move we were making. We went to the next one, and again, there he was, eyeing our every step. I realized today that MJ and I must really look like shoplifters, or else the security guy was REALLY bored. My "introduction" to shopping in Debrecen. Following that adventure, we visited the fruit-veggie stand. As we were walking home, we found another stand, which had good looking bananas, so we stopped. The man at that stand was visibly upset that we had shopped at the stand around the corner and began to boast that his prices were much lower. He even took 29 forints off the price of the bunch of bananas to prove his point. I assured him we would come back to his stand next time...he said, "The only thing sure in life is death!" I "corrected" him and said, "And God!" He promptly responded with, "Which one?" I said, "The only True God!" So, here I embark on a new road of ministry: fruit-veggie man evangelism.

making a CD

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If any of you have every worked on making a music CD, you know the challenges. Getting everything "just right" takes TIME, concentration, energy, patience, and skill. A dear friend of mine and I are working on a CD together which will include songs sung in both English and Hungarian. The goal is that people will be encouraged in their walks with Jesus and will draw closer to Him as a result of listening. May we glorify God alone!

Healing wounds

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Everyone needs a faithful friend.....but what does that look like? In the book of Proverbs it states, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted....As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27: 5-6a, 17) It takes a true friend to dare to rebuke and correct another, but I know that these are the kinds of true friends that I want in my life. I recently received a strong rebuke from a friend, which drove me to the only place a true rebuke should: to Jesus! And as Jesus dealt with my wounded heart, and poured out His abundant love and Truth, true healing began. Are we willing to let those closest to us sharpen us, or do we take offense, bury the hurt, build the walls, and move on? If we choose the latter route, we lose; we are trying to save our lives, when Jesus clearly admonishes us to lose our lives for His sake. When we choose the former route, those wounds are healed by the Great Healer, lovingly filled with His undying love, and we are drawn closer, not only to our precious Savior, Jesus Christ, but to the friend, who loved us enough to speak the truth in love. "Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God should'st die for me?"