As I type this, friends in Charlottesville are waking up to a new day, but one during which there will be much grieving. Hundreds of people have lost a dear, dear friend, who went home to be with the Lord on Tuesday at the "young" age of 47. I've written about grieving here in Hungary before, but this time it is a bit different. I'm not quite sure why, but I believe that the Lord is giving me more and more of His grace to "grieve from a distance," not an easy thing to do, but something that is stretching me tremendously. Today, I'm longing for the community of believers who will gather to celebrate this friend's life; I'm longing to cry with them, to laugh with them, just to "feel a part of things." It's challenging to have "closure" from a distance, and yet in the midst of all these "human" challenges, I'm meeting the Lord in ways I never thought possible. I was literally walking down the street yesterday afternoon after having wept bitterly most of the morning, and my heart was so light and full of peace and joy. I asked the Lord about it, feeling a bit "guilty" for having this peace and joy amidst the pain of losing a dear friend, and I believe that the Lord reminded me that Ellen is now rejoicing and is at peace, and is seeing her Savior and Lord face to face. THIS gives us every reason to know and sense God's peace and joy. Our human loss is immense; but when we heed the Psalmist's admonition to "Be still and know that I am God," (Psalm 46:10), we can rest in His loving grace, which carries us through the grief and into His presence in new ways. I've "lost" a friend on this earth, but through it all, I'm gaining a new intimacy with Jesus....this is what Ellen would want anyway! Glory to God this Easter season which she is celebrating with the Lord Himself!
ceo for the kids
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Learning......
ceo for the kidsI feel like I'm in a very steep learning curve right now. Lots of things are happening in and around me. A dear friend and fellow missionary senses a calling from Hungary to South Africa; my friend and mentor leaving. I'm trying to learn what it means to LISTEN to the Lord, REALLY listen and discern His voice over all the competing voices around me. I was home ill for a week with a nasty virus which completely wiped me out. During that time, I prayed for a funeral service. A family in our church lost a father and grandfather. As I prayed, one word kept coming to mind: PEACE. So I prayed for peace in everyone's hearts, that the peace of Christ would reign over the service, that the Holy Spirit would grant everyone a tremendous sense of peace; that the service would be a time of peaceful worship of the Lord. At a funeral? Yesterday, I got a call from the daughter of this man, a dear friend of mine who said, "Hi Arden! Just imagine we experienced such PEACE throughout the entire service. Everyone! Even those who are not Christians said they simply couldn't understand the peace they sensed. And then we started to worship, and it was the most beautiful worshipful time ever at a funeral. I expected it to be horrible; funerals are horrible, but it was so covered in peace!!!" Mind you, I had said NOTHING to this woman, and as I sat listening to her, my heart was rejoicing in Jesus that HE would give such a gift to them, and now to me, to celebrate what HE wanted to give them and give me through this man's passing. I shared with her what the Lord had put on my heart to pray on that day, and she nearly jumped for joy at the confirmation that indeed, the Lord is so very, very good!!! I've jumped in the river and I'm being carried along by the Word and the Spirit into realms never dreamed of, and oh boy, is it exciting! Amen!!!!
Monday, March 07, 2005
Birthdays in bed....ill that is....
ceo for the kids
You know, for 4 out of the past 5 years here in Hungary I have been flat on my back in bed, ILL, on my birthday!!! Go figure. Maybe my body fights all of January and February against all the nasty viruses going around and then just as the beginning of March hits, my immune system just isn't up to snuff to fight anymore. But on my birthday? I learned a long time ago not to ask the question "why", but rather ask, "so what can I learn through this?" Well......I don't have an answer.....except that it was fun celebrating my birthday last year and NOT being sick. Slowing down is always a good thing, and now I'm forced to slow down. May it be a time of reflection, prayer, and worship that I wouldn't otherwise have if I was going full-steam ahead!
You know, for 4 out of the past 5 years here in Hungary I have been flat on my back in bed, ILL, on my birthday!!! Go figure. Maybe my body fights all of January and February against all the nasty viruses going around and then just as the beginning of March hits, my immune system just isn't up to snuff to fight anymore. But on my birthday? I learned a long time ago not to ask the question "why", but rather ask, "so what can I learn through this?" Well......I don't have an answer.....except that it was fun celebrating my birthday last year and NOT being sick. Slowing down is always a good thing, and now I'm forced to slow down. May it be a time of reflection, prayer, and worship that I wouldn't otherwise have if I was going full-steam ahead!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
"I want to die!"
ceo for the kids
I tutor a young lady, 16 years old, at school who, over 2 years ago suffered a stroke and has diabetes. She insists on coming to school, is very intelligent, but sometimes lazy like every typical teenager. She has a visible limp and shakes as a result of her health issues, so she is "different". Here in Hungary, for years, the disabled were "put away", and now that they are more evident in public life, not everybody knows how to handle them. Yesterday, armed with my wonderful lesson to teach her, I walked with her into the library, where we sat down and she began to weep. After about 2 minutes of not being able to say anything, she looked at me and said, "I want to die!" Of course I'd been praying, but now I was REALLY praying, "Lord, give me YOUR words to say to this young girl." She proceeded to tell me how she has no friends and no one likes her and she is ugly and ill and she just wants to die. I listened and prayed, and then gently talked with her. I shared my struggles with her when I was 16; I told her that many, many others also feel like they have no friends and are "ugly" and are "ill"; but their illnesses are on the inside. I also shared with her the ONE friend who will never leave her no matter what: Jesus. Right now, she doesn't believe God loves her; I can understand her feelings. I pray the love letter that God has written to us will touch her heart deeply, in addition to the Holy Spirit drawing her to Himself, that she would find deep, inner healing, and even outer healing, and find the FRIEND who will never leave her or forsake her. At the end of our conversation, she looked at me with a smile, and said, "I'm not sad anymore, thank you." For me, life IS worth living if just for a moment like this.
I tutor a young lady, 16 years old, at school who, over 2 years ago suffered a stroke and has diabetes. She insists on coming to school, is very intelligent, but sometimes lazy like every typical teenager. She has a visible limp and shakes as a result of her health issues, so she is "different". Here in Hungary, for years, the disabled were "put away", and now that they are more evident in public life, not everybody knows how to handle them. Yesterday, armed with my wonderful lesson to teach her, I walked with her into the library, where we sat down and she began to weep. After about 2 minutes of not being able to say anything, she looked at me and said, "I want to die!" Of course I'd been praying, but now I was REALLY praying, "Lord, give me YOUR words to say to this young girl." She proceeded to tell me how she has no friends and no one likes her and she is ugly and ill and she just wants to die. I listened and prayed, and then gently talked with her. I shared my struggles with her when I was 16; I told her that many, many others also feel like they have no friends and are "ugly" and are "ill"; but their illnesses are on the inside. I also shared with her the ONE friend who will never leave her no matter what: Jesus. Right now, she doesn't believe God loves her; I can understand her feelings. I pray the love letter that God has written to us will touch her heart deeply, in addition to the Holy Spirit drawing her to Himself, that she would find deep, inner healing, and even outer healing, and find the FRIEND who will never leave her or forsake her. At the end of our conversation, she looked at me with a smile, and said, "I'm not sad anymore, thank you." For me, life IS worth living if just for a moment like this.
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